Jaejoong closed the bathroom door, resisting the urge to slam it shut in his haste to get away from Yunho's eagle eyes, The wooden oak door closed shut as he pulled on the knob.

He stood there, breathing hard, trying to keep the tears in.

It was hard.

Slowly, he tried to calm his breathing. A slow, creepy smile creeped across his face, pulling on his lips.

Letting out a strangled sob, he brought his hand up to cover his mouth, hoping to muffle the sound, as he folded in on himself.

Silly. He needed to stay strong. He needed to be strong for them.

All five of them.

Yunho was hurting. Changmin was broken. Yoochun was angry. Junsu was devastated.

He needed to stay strong. As the eldest, this was his job.

Taking a deep breath, he wiped his tears away and straightened. Slowly, he regained his composure. At least he tried to.

Kim Jaejoong was a sensitive soul. Many things affected him. Many things tugged at his hypersensitive heartstrings. Many things could make him cry.

Such as this. Such as seeing his beloved members, his brothers, being like this.

In truth, this was hurting him more than he let it show.

Why did this have to happen?

If he had known...

If he had known that this was what their breakdown would lead to, he would have fought to keep them together.

He should have done something.

Convince Yoochun to stay. Keep the group together. Protect Changmin. Make sure the two of them were okay. Watch for signs of Yunho's sickness.

He could have done SOMETHING.

Slowly but surely, the guilt he had been trying to hold down, which he had tried to swallow, creeped back, planting its seeds into his hearts, as it grew and grew, wrapping him in their embrace. Spreading through his veins and encasing him like a hug from behind, Jaejoong finally fell into their open arms.

He collapsed to his knees, as his body folded in again. He tried to keep it down. He really tried. But the pained, strangled sobs, couldn't be silenced, even when he pressed both his palms to his mouth. Even when he fell to the floor in all his pain and guilt. His tears ran down, pain and guilt in the form of salty water droplets. One by one, they fell to the lush carpetted floor, staining it and painting it a shade darker.

He laughed painfully to himself. 

So much for staying strong, huh?

He didn't know how long he stayed like that. But he felt like it was long enough when he actually started feeling sleepy from crying so much.

Getting up, he rubbed his sleep away from his eyes. His knees creaked, his back cracked.

Laughing to himself again, he realised that he was getting old. Age was catching up to him.

He walked around the room, trying to keep his mind off things. He didn't really have to try so hard. His mind was always fuzzy after he cried. Shaking off the feeling of an oncoming headache, he studied the bedroom.

Frowning again, he realised the bedroom was much too small for his liking.

Well, at least it felt.... comfortable.

He would never call it homey. This house was definitely not a place you would love to call home. It was too... unlived in. Materialistic. Fake. Like those houses you see in magazines.

Always pretty to look at, but never comfortable to live in.

Jaejoong unconciously brushed his hand against the smooth concrete wall as he walked around the room.

Such a cold place to live in. No wonder things became bad.

Jaejoong softly chuckled to himself. Now he was blaming the house for what was happening.

He should buy a bigger house to fit the five of them. He had the money anyway.

His smile faltered. The five of them living together.

Was that even possible?

The slight upturn of his lips disappeared, replaced by a sadness no one but God could comprehend.

Could he do it? Bring the five of them back together?

Was he worth it, the one to make them reunite?

His fists clenched as the thoughts crossed him.

Reunite.

Never had he hated that word more. Not because of the idea of them getting back together, but the thought that they even broke apart in the first place. How could he be so STUPID.

How could he break them apart and then put them back together, as if they were pieces of a puzzle that would simply fit into each other. How despicable.

But they needed to be together again. He had realised this the moment he had rushed into this house to see a Maknae half beaten to death.

He had to do it. 

Even if they didn't want to. He had to. 

They needed each other. He needed to be there. For Junsu and Yoochun, and at the same time, Changmin and Yunho.

But.... how could he, Kim Jaejoong, who had walked out on the latter pair, suddenly comeback to patch things up?

He wasn't worthy to.

It was a pure paradox.

He, who had left them to fend for their own, comes back to be their Hero who saved them from distress, while he, in fact, was the reason behind their distress in the first place.

Could he do it? Could he bring them back together? Should he?

Frustrated beyond words, he flopped down on the bed, forgetting that it wasn't even his. He smiled to himself, inhaling Yunho's scent that lay on the pillow and duvet. Yunho, for some reason, always smelt like a weird mixture of tobacco and mint.

Jaejoong didn't know if it was a cologne, Yunho's natural scent, or maybe it was just him; all in pretty little Kim Jaejoong's head.

It did not matter, for he, Kim Jaejoong, unofficail lover and other half to Jung Yunho, loved it. He always felt safe... and warm... in Yunho's embrace.

He suddenly blushed for no apparent reason.

Heheh. The thought of embracing Yunho made him blush. But he couldn't help it... Yunho was so warm... and safe... and --

Stop it Kim Jaejoong! Jaejoong scolded himself, smacking his own head.

Lying on the comfortable bed, he curled up, the duvet tangling around his legs as he brought his knees closer to his body in a near fetal position.

He was feeling sleep again.

Who could really blame him? He had slept only three hours the night before. Right now, adrenaline was the only thing keeping him wake, and he could already feel it losing it's effect on him, as the panic slowly died in him, replaced by a certain calm, but laced with a hidden fear that kept him awake just long enough.

He rolled over on his other side to face the bathroom door, where Yunho was in. He stared at it, waiting for Yunho to come back out. His eyelids protested against his decision to stay awake. fluttering close every now and then.

Jaejoong sat up when it seemed like sleep was going to claim him if he lay down any longer.

The bathroom knob turned, and Yunho stepped out, a towel wrapped around his waist.

Jaejoong blinked sleepily at him. In normal circumstances, he would have found Yunho standing there dripping wet in only a towel hanging precariously around his waist extremely y, but right now, he was just too drained. Drained beyond words. Tired. Physically and mentally.

Jaejoong tried to rub the sleep in his eyes, not knowing that they were red from crying so hard and so long.

Yunho had a passive face on. No, not really passive, just... drained. Like him. He jerked to attention, however, when he saw the redness in Jaejoong's eyes.

Putting on a long-sleeved shirt and trackpants, he came to Jaejoong and sat in front of him on the floor.

"Hey," he asked, placing his hands gently on Jaejoong's, "Why were you crying?"

Jaejoong blinked at him, not really getting it. "Not crying," he answered, "Just sleepy. Really sleepy."

Yunho frowned. Was that it?

"Yunho," Jaejoong said, "Come to bed with me."

Yunho had the look in his eyes. The tired, drained, dead, i-am-a-hopeless-son-of-a- look, and Jaejoong, even though he was sleepy, needed to be there for him. He knew his responsibilities as the eldest, and he wasn't going to suddenly forget about them, even though he had yet to make the decision whether a reunion would happen.

Yunho shook his head. "It's okay. I'm not sleepy."

Jaejoong practically growled. "Come. To. Bed."

Yunho immediately lay down beside him. They lay facing each other, Jaejoong on the left side, Yunho on the right.

"How's your wound?" Jaejoong asked, indicating the cut on his forehead.

Yunho unconciously brought a hand up to his forehead, touching the now throbbing cut lightly. "It's fine," he answered.

Jaejoong reached his hand over and brushed Yunho's wet bangs aside to see it for himslef. It really was fine. Yunho had washed it and healed it, applying medicine, and it was now covered by a band-aid.

"Tell me if you get a headache." Jaejoong said, covering the wound again.

"I have a headache." Yunho confessed bluntly.

Jaejoong sighed, sitting up. "Fine. I'll take you to the doctor's then, It might be a concussion for all we know..."

Jaejoong swung his legs to the edge of the bed, getting ready to stand, when he felt a hand clutch at his sweater sleeve.

"Please don't go," Yunho whispered, practically begging.

Jaejoong turned around, and was greeted with teary eyes, and a desperate look on Yunho's face.

"It might be--" started Jaejoong.

"No I'm fine. It's nothing. Please stay with me."

A tear rolled down Yunho's cheek. Then another. Then another. THe strong, supporting leader he was n more.

Now he was weak, broken, desperate. Just a little dongsaeng asking for bodily comfort from his hyung. He needed someone. Anyone.

Jaejoong was slightly alarmed to see his leader suddenly break out in tears. He spun around to face Yunho, and lay back down.

"Hey, hey..." He started, "Why are you crying?"

Yunho brought his hand up to his mouth, a strangled sob escaping. A habit he aqcuired from Jaejoong. More tears rolled down.

"Because I-I'm scared you're not real, and you might be a hallucination. I-if that's the c-case, then I'm scared to wake up and l-l-lose you again."

Jaejoong stared with wide eyes, obviously dumbfounded by the statement. Had Yunho reached the level where... he could not distingush between reality and illusion? Was his illness really getting that bad?

"Yunho..." Jaejoong said, wrapping his hands around the leader's wrists in an attempt to calm him down.

The leader's tears were flowing freely,falling off the side of his face, and dispersing on the pillow beneath his head. Hs shoulders actually shook with the sobs. He was... crying. For real.

Jaejoong just couldn't help but stare at the sight. His leader was so beautiful, even in anguish and pain, he was beautiful. Like a statue of Adonis, totally flawless. Another reason he was staring so hard was because it hurt him physically to see his Yunho in pain. Yunho was always strong. He never cried, always holding his tears in. But now, to actually see Yunho cry, Jaejoong couldn't help but stare.

Shock kept his head completely blank, and instincts took over sense.

Inching his head closer, he neared Yunho, who was still crying and hence could not really think straight to figure out what Jaejoong was doing. Before he realised what Jaejoong was actually going to do, Jaejoong very lightly placed his lips on Yunho's in a chaste, comforting kiss.

Lips touching, yet not moving, Jaejoong stayed like that for a while, before letting them move to lead Yunho into a kiss. Yunho stayed quiet, letting Jaejoong lead it.

It ended soon, their kiss kept innocent by them keeping their tongues on their own mouths. Jaejoong reached up and kissed Yunho's forehead, before looking into Yunho's eyes, a serious expression oh his face.

"Jaejoong tops," he said in all-seriousness as he held up one finger to his lips, indicating that this only happened once, and that was for today.

His tears finished, Yunho let out something resembling a laugh. It sounded like he was being strangled, but it lit Jaejoong up all the same.

Reaching up, he wrapped his arms around Yunho's neck.

Yunho understood, and he snuggled his head onto Jaejoong's chest. 

Like Jaejoong said; Jaejoong tops.

Jaejoong wrapped his arms around Yunho's head and started playing with his wet hair.

He twirled it around his index finger, humming a lullaby that Yunho knew. Without even meaning to, Yunho got sleepy. The lullaby had a haunting melody, but yet poetic words.

Yunho had always loved that song. It was probably his favourite, even though the notes were impossibly high for him to hit perfectly sometimes.

Listen well

to the lovely, passionately sparkling, bolero

You are definitely not alone

As long as you are alive, fly!

This is the place where you belong

Yunho's eyelids drooped. The melody enveloped him like a warm blanket. Jaejoong was practically half-asleep as his mouth mumbled the melody perfectly. 

As the words died down and the tune became lost to the emptiness of the house, both of them fell asleep

*********************************************************

Several minutes earlier

Junsu raced down to the open-air carpark, silently cursing when he saw Yoochun pulling away and driving off in his porsche.

He ran to his bumblebee (A/N: I forgot the proper name for Junsu's car. But I do know that its been nicknamed a Bumblebee because the autobot from transformers is the same as this car model) and fumbled with his keys. He jumped inside and revved the engine, chasing an already disappearing white porsche.

Yoochun raced down the road, his tears blinding him.

Stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. He didn't know why he was crying. Well in actual fact, he knew exactly why he was crying, he just didn't understand how he could cry for that person.

That person being Yunho.

He couldn/t believe it.

He was actually feeling BAD that he had said all those TRUTHFUL things to yunho. Deep down, he knew exactly why. But right know, he did not want to face the facts. What changmin said was true.

Yunho had stayed. He had stayed. He had stayed when times were tough. He had stayed when TVXQ became nothing more than a name, while it used to be a title equivalent to royalty only three years ago. He had stayed when Changmin needed him.

And for that reason, Yoochun guessed, was why he was so mad at Yunho. Yunho had done something wrong. Something horrible. And yet, everyone had forgiven him easily, as if it was no big deal .Even Changmin, who he had hurt so badly, chose to defend him.

It was not fair. It was not FAIR.

Yunho was frolicking in his guiltless heaven, while he, the reason why tvxq had broken up in the first place, was literally drowning in his own guilt.

His phone suddenly rang, and he was brought out from his train of thoughts.

Without looking at the caller ID, he picked up.

"WHAT?!" he yelled to the person on the other line.

Junsu winced. Yoochun could be so... Cold sometimes.

"Yoochun," he tried, "Please. Calm down."

"WHAT DO YOU WANT JUNSU?!"

"Please, slow down... You're driving pretty dangerously. I can barely catch up with you..."

Yoochun twisted around in his seat to look behind him. Which was a pretty stupid thing to do, if you think about it. He saw the familiar grey sports car heading his way, and Junsu could swear he could hear a growl from the other line.

"Stop following me, Junsu..." He warned, looking back to the road in front of him

"No, Yoochun."

"JUNSU. YOU KNOW WELL THAT I NEED TO BE ALONE RIGHT NOW."

"Yoochun please... I just need to talk to you. Please pull over somewhere. Anywhere. It doesn't matter. Just pull over somewhere and hear me out."

"Why should I listen to you?" Yoochun growled into the phone, excelarrating again in hope to lose Junsu.

"Yoochun..." Junsu begged.

He was sobbing. Yoochun could hear his already high-pitched voice get higher as his voice cracked with the threat of tears. "Yoochun please listen to me. Listen to me. Trust me. Please..."

"Why?" Yoochun literally spat out.

"Because... Because you love me."

Yoochun sighed, feeling his anger disappearing. "Alright," he said, giving in. "The beach."

He could almost hear Junsu's smile on the other line. "Thank you, Yoochun."

Yoochun hung up. The two of them drove at a more normal, and safer, speed, as they made their way to the beach located near Yoochun's pent house. Yoochun parked his car amd got out, slamming the door behind him and already walking away, as Junsu parked his car.

"Yoochun, wait!" Junsu yelled as he ran to him.

Yoochun couldnt take it anymore. He took off and ran. Junsu stared after him, before giving chase as well.

"YOOCHUN!! STOP RUNNNG!!"

"NO!! STOP CHASING ME!!"

"THEN WHY ARE YOU EVEN RUNNING AWAY?!"

"BECAUSE I'M FEELING STRESSED JUNSU. NOW STOP CHASING ME!"

"NO WAY!! I HAVE TO MAKE SURE YOU'RE ALRIGHT BEFORE I LET YOU RUN OFF."

"I'M FINE IDIOT. NOW LEAVE ME ALONE AND JUST LET ME RUN FOR A WHILE!!"

"ARE YOU RUNNING AWAY FROM ME YOOCHUNNIE?!"

"NO! IM JUST RUNNING AWAY FROM MY PROBLEMS. NOW STOP BEING AN INSECT JUNSU, AND GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!"

Junsu stopped running almost immediately. Yoochun turned around, still running, and stopped at the sight of Junsu's hurt face.

"That was mean..." The younger one said almost sadly, evidently hurt by the statement.

Yoochun sighed in frustration. Why was it that all he ever did was hurt the people he loved? He ran over to Junsu, and wrapped the smaller man in a hug which nearly made the younger boy lose his balance.

"I'm sorry, okay?" He said. Junsu smiled, and hugged Yoochun back tighter.

"It's okay, Chunnie..." answered Junsu as he rested his chin on Yoochun's shoulder.

Always the one quick to forgive, that was Junsu. No matter what people did, as long as they apologised, then Junsu would forgive. That was how kind he was.

They stayed like that for a while, Junsu practically cuddling in Yoochun's warm embrace.

Yoochun suddenly let go, and began walking away. Junsu stared after him, momentarily dumbstruck by Yoochun's moodswing, and began following him.

As Yoochun walked, head down and hands buried deep in his pockets, Junsu walked behind him at a slower pace. The night was beautiful, with the moon in full circle, and stars glowing as bightly, as the waves of the ocean lit up with reflections of both moon and stars.

"Chunnie, look." Junsu called gently, hand pointing to the night sky.

Yoochun stopped walking and looked to where Junsu was pointing.

"Cassieopeia," he revelled.

The constellation was evident in the sky, five perfect, bright, beautiful stars aligned into the shape of a W. 

Junsu grinned, sensing Yoochun's calm, and skipped over to where Yoochun was to stand beside him.

"Pretty, huh?"

Yoochun nodded. "Perfect as always."

"And look," Junsu pointed to another constellation a short distance away, "There's Orion too."

Yoochun winced. Orion was pretty, beautiful even. It was the name of JYJ's fanclub, a separate unit from Cassieopiea. Just like them, Cassieopeia was breaking up too.

Their beautiful fanclub had split into three, with the original Cassieopeia that supported all five of them, whether together or as two sub-units, Orion, the fanclub that branched out from Casseiopeia to support JYJ, and HolyShinki, which supported TVXQ as a duo.

It was tiring and gave the five of them a headache just thinking about it. So many fanwars had started and ended, their fanclub numbers constantly went up and down, with Cassies leaving and joining everyday.

Yoochun even heard that their official number had dropped to 797 689, from their original number that exceeded 800,000

(AN: once again, true. I looked it up :( )

797 689 was still a big number, but the power TVXQ once held was dropping, dwindling.

The two of them stayed silent, their own thoughts enveloping them, as they looked at the beautiful nightsky.

"Chunnie?" Junsu tried to get his attention. His voice was hesitant, as if afraid of what he was going to say.

"Yeah?"

"What you said back there..."

"I don't want to talk about it," Yoochun interrupted before he could get any further. HIs mood had instantly dampened, turning sour before anyone could do anything.

"Chunnie..." Junsu tried again, slowly bringing his hand up to place it gently on Yoochun's elbow as an act of comfort.

Yoochun rudely swiped it away, avoiding the contact as he looked away.

"I don't want to talk about it, Junsu," he repeated. There was a strong sense of finality in hs voice. Junsu would not be deterred

He tried again.

"You know what you said back there was too much, Yoochun..." He said gently.

"JUNSU!" Yoochun yelled, finally turning around to face him. There was a fire his eyes that made Junsu take an involuntary step back out of fear. Yoochun could be really scary at times. "I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."

Junsu started tearing up, both out of shock and fear. "Y-Y-Yoochun. J-j-just hear me out."

Yochun closed his eyes and exhaled noisily, not wanting to scare him.

"What do you want?" He said, not even looking at Junsu, as he faced the ocean and stared at it.

"Yoochun... If you're angry..."

"Junsu."

Real tears were dropping down Junsu's face as he looked at Yoochun. A mixture of fear and sorrow was evident on his face. "S-s-sorry," Junsu stuttered, as his breathing hitched every now and then in a bid to calm himself down. "P-p-please don't be mad, Yoochun." Junsu started wiping at his still falling tears uselessly.

Yoochun looked up at Junsu and saw him crying. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration and began screaming and yelling, venting his anger to the nightsky and borderless ocean. 

All he did was hurt people. The people he loved. Was that all he was good at? 

He hadn't meant to hurt anyone.

Really. Honestly.

EVen if no one believed him, even if everyone thought he was lying.

He really did love Junsu, even when he always scolded him and yelled at him. Junsu would always endure, laugh it off and hug him.

Even Yunho. He loved Yunho. But what Yunho did was just too much for him too take.

Deep down, he knew it was his fault. 

It was his fault. All his fault.

He shouldn't have said all those things. He shouldn't have thrown the plate at Yunho. He shouldn't have made him cry.

But Yoochun was stubborn. He believed, and he knew, that what he said was the truth.

But he knew Yunho didn't deserve those painful words, especially coming from a person like him.

He was the one who left them. He was the one who suddenly came back out of the blue. He was the one who made them that way. So who was he to act like the Hero and say that to Yunho, while he was the one who caused all of this, everything?

Junsu couldn't help but jump at the 180 degree change in Yoochun's attitude.

After yelling till his voice became hoarse, Yoochun sat down on the sand, not caring for the water that was being absorbed by his jeans. The waves lapped gently at his feet, as if encouraging him to say something. Anything. Just to make things right again.

"Sit down, Junsu," Yoochun practically ordered.

Junsu slowly sat down. Yoochun brought his knees up to his chest as he rested his chin on them, a far away look in his eyes.

Junsu was still crying, breathing hitching every now and then.

"Stop crying," Yoochun whispered, beginning to get pissed. He wasn't even looking at Junsu as he began to cry even harder.

"STOP CRYING!!" He yelled. He swung his head around to look at Junsu, irritation evident.

And immediately regretted it.

Junsu looked so hurt, as his eyes began to tear up with fresher tears.

"S-s-sorry." Junsu began, trying hard to stop.

Yoochun sighed as he rested the side of his head against his knees to continue looking at Junsu. He reached his hand to brush his fingertips gently against Junsu's bangs. Junsu looked down, his tears falling to the sand.

Yoochun let his fingers brush gently against Junsu's jawline till they landed on Junsu's chin. Gently, he lifted his fingers up to tilt Junsu's head up to face him.

Junsu's eyes were swollen and red from crying, and Yoochun felt a sharp pain in his chest as he stared at the tearstains. Gently, he brushed them away with his thumb.

"Why are you crying anyway?" he asked gently.

"Because I don't like seeing you angry," Junsu answered softly

************************************************

It's kinda hanging cos for one thing, i'm kinda busy right now ^^

and another, i can feel a migraine coming on which is not so awesome.....

I did promise to update at least once a week so here it is

Sorry it's hanging... i planned on writing more, but this migraine is.... urghhhhhhh

Oh yeah! Shout out to this fanfic: Yangja <----- Read it guys. seriously. it's awesome. i don't know why it hasn't gotten much love.

Yeah... so... till the next time. I'm sorry it's hanging, but i'll try to continue asap.

Enjoy~ Please subscribe and comment!

stopping now cos migraine is getting too much