A / N; Hey there~ A new chapter is here! This time it's a little... brutal, let's say, shall we. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter and always stay tuned for the next one! :) Please comment, subscribe & upvote~ It's always appreaciated <3 See you next time!

word count; 2364     date; 14/10/19

four

"You Two Go."

T-ARA & The SeeYa &5Dolls & SPeed - Painkiller
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v7N0ZlnRXt8

The planning started the next tuesday which Seunghoon had suggested. He said we couldn’t risk getting caught doing the planning, when the director could be just around the corner. He was right, of course, but having him take the lead in what supposed to be Seungyoon and I’s project only irritated me a lot.

I didn’t like him taking lead, I didn’t like him giving any contribution or him just being there to begin with.

But Seungyoon talked me into just going along with it, saying since Seunghoon was older he must be more experienced than us.

More experienced in what exactly? Breaking out of a prison-like depressing orphanage, that had no adoptions since like 10 years? Good one.

    “Do you really trust this guy?” I asked Seungyoon a few Tuesdays into our planning, when we were waiting for Seunghoon to arrive.

We agreed to not write our plans on anything paper under any circumstances because we wouldn’t want to risk having them snatched away by some kid who then would probably rat us out. But I still couldn’t trust this kid.

    “Well, yea. I mean, he’s coming up with a lot of ideas to help us and...”

I cut him off because I just couldn’t stand his naivety.

    “Have you never even once thought of the possibility that he might be using us for his own advantage? Did it never occur to you even once that he could be deceiving us?”

    “No. But, do you really-”

“What if he secretly writes down everything we decide on and then shows the director saying he caught us in the act of planning? We get locked away and that guy escapes on his own!”

I was screaming at him. I didn’t even care anymore if anyone heard us, I was just so fed up with this little rat interfering in our thing.

Little did I understand, that this was only my thing by then.

He looked to the floor. He was thinking, I hoped he was overthinking. The silence became heavier with every second that passed. I started to feel bad for screaming at him.

Not because I felt I was wrong, but because it obviously did not help him understand. Or so I thought.

He then looked at me again, sympathy in his eyes.

    “Why are you so angry at me then?” he asked calmly.

… I felt so damn busted. I wanted him to notice. And I thought he didn’t. But then he did. And suddenly I rather wanted to vanish from existence than him ever noticing.

    “You don’t even care to know.”

    “Okay, hold up.” his tone suddenly changed which had me a little surprised. Seungyoon was that very calm, understanding type of person, but back then he got super defensive.

    “I may be a little slow with your woman logic, even blind to it, but never ever say again I don’t care about you.”

And with that he hit home. And I realized something. What Seungyoon cared about the most was our future.

Starting that day I at least tried to incorporate Seunghoon more which didn’t mean I trusted him or anything close to that, but I tried to make it easier for myself by being nice.

After all, he really was more experienced in breaking out from locked houses than we ever would be.

In the first few months I had not even bothered to greet this guy or look at him when it wasn’t Tuesday, but gradually that changed as well.

We would not hang out, Seunghoon said it would be better to hide our contact so no one would think anything funny. But after half a year we started to exchange gazes or smiles while passing each other.

About a year passed, a hot tuesday in August. We decided to run in Summer because it would be more comfortable sleeping on the streets until we found somewhere to stay at, than in Winter.

I was sixteen, Seungyoon seventeen and Seunghoon nineteen. We had spent our goddamned youth in this goddamned orphanage and finally we would get our goddamned freedom.

We were ready and we were pumped.

We had another meet up during which we went over our plans over and over again. We had them all ready and finished but we wanted them to be perfect. Nothing was allowed to fail. Everything had to go exactly how we had constructed it. And it wasn’t just any vague plan, there were so many details to remember it  fried my brain.

I massaged my temples.

    “Are you still listening?” Seunghoon asked strictly.

    “I try.” I sighed.

    “I know it’s a lot to memorize, but I want this to go smooth for all of us so..” he said, sounding concerned. It was the first time I thought of him being sincere and it kind of put my worries to rest.

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