A / N; I AM SO SORRY OH MY GOD IT HAS BEEN A LITTLE LESS THAN A YEAR I AM SO TERRIBLY SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED ;; I don't really have a reason other then having been in a writing slump. I am fairly busy with work, have to study korean a lot and do a lot of dance related work in my free time so I was always quite busy but the slump just added on to why this chapter is so incredibly late. I actually started and finished this..... a good while ago. But never had the inspiration or motivation to continue or edit it. But here we are... it's currently 9:30am in Germany, i have not slept whatsoever so I hope you enjoy this piece I have spent the whole night on. It might have mistakes and I will of course correct those, but for now I just want it up and out there so I can be at peace with myself. This chapter has a little twist to it so leave me your thoughts on it in the comments below, I'd love to hear your ideas on how I could improve or what you would like to see! Thank you for reading and til next time.... which will hopefully be not too far in the future! ;)

word count; 3836     date; 16/09/11

fourteen

A Sorrow Shared Is A Sorrow Doubled

FTISLAND - Beloved
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnAKep6aQeE

!!! w a r n i n g !!! ; bad language

Bobby's POV

“Don't.” she said when I tried to turn my head to catch even the slightest glimpse of what surrounded me.

She tried to sound commanding, tried to keep her voice from wavering but it convinced me only very little.

I scoffed at her. I let her now. I wanted her to feel stupid.

Then she suddenly signaled me to lean in closer. No big deal for me. Keeping myself upright had been such a strain, it was actually a relieve to lean over. And I was closer to her again.

But then her whispered words reached me.
Thinking back, I wonder if I had even heard correctly.
Her voice were a mess of trembling fury and despair and fear. She spat this revelation like it was dirt she wanted to rid her tongue off.

“Take it, Jiwon. Take it, keep it and go with it.”

That’s how it had felt, when she told me they supposedly ought to be WINNER.

And I felt like a trash can.

I just stared at her. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t know what to say, I had so many things I wanted to chuck at her, but what would I gain from it? Another black eye? Two more broken ribs?
So I needed to be content with seeing her wilt steadily under my glare.

Eventually she just nodded toward the door.

I let out a scoffing snort and I wished with every ounce of my being I could’ve walked out there upright, but too much, not only in my body, was broken.

As I pulled open the door, I was on the verge of blacking out but still my brain and my thoughts kept pushing on, pushing me to the edge.

The excruciating pain, the steadily worsening headache, the shaking of my every limb from the cold that now began to enfold me resulting in even more agony, all pushed me further.
My brain refused to acknowledge them, those lanky kids, to be WINNER.

But I was so weak, my heart just silently nodded away, sinking in the flood of denial and hurt steadily climbing up centimeter by centimeter. My heart knew it was true.

WINNER, among only few, were a legend in Korea's Underworld. People talked about them everywhere you went. Rumors about their atrocities were spreading like a pandemic, infesting everyone with their wondrous details, not mattering if true or false.

If there was a murder discovered, wonderfully executed, cruel as never seen before, it was almost always credited to WINNER. If it had been them or not. No one would ever know anyways.

No one knew exactly how many members there were in WINNER. The junk that were regulars on the streets always just guessed, adding or subtracting members, no one knew where they came from, how they came to be. Only that there was WINNER and the Inner Circle.

WINNER was large, a lot of people for dealing with a lot of dirty deeds, but the Inner Circle, the reign of WINNER so to say, was small. The most apt and most cruel in their profession belonged to this group.

And if I could buy into Sori's words coming out hesitantly, shaky, I had just had the honor to meet those exact people. The Inner Circle.

And they thought me worthy enough to let me go living. Battered but living.

By the shaking fear in Sori's voice I could tell though that I was not supposed to know. Or else I wouldn't have walked out a minute later. As much as I wanted to lash out at them, I knew better to keep my mouth shut.

When I noticed my eyes were no longer being able to hold the tears building up, I had to break away from her gaze. I liked her. I did so for a long time. She had fascinated me the minute she had strode in the first time, unsure, confused by the mass of sensations. Well, maybe not after all, because the first thing I thought was that I should better ready our first aid kit for her. Turned out I readied it for her opponent.

Honestly, I shouldn't have been shocked she was a member of WINNER. But it's not something you really think of. Hey, this girl I like, maybe she could be a member of one of the most ed up gangs in the country? Ridiculous. Thinking it and it actually being true.

Her fighting, the swiftness with which she knocked out men twice as big as her, the way she wiped away the sweat dripping from her brows and that little smirk she flashed every time she landed a good hit. All that kept my eyes glued to her.

I started to love watching her, and then I started to love her. Which, as it turned out now, was a big mistake.

I stepped away from her figure, her trembling body illuminated by dim lights disappeared behind thick curtains of cold rain. Her tears had started flowing long before mine and I just couldn't bear to look at her anymore. Or else I would've made a fool of myself. By hugging her. I had wanted to so bad.

“ 'I'm sorry for not returning your feelings.' MY !!”, I shouted when I felt I was far enough away from their house.

The heavy sour rain burning in my cuts might be hiding the tears coming from my eyes but it did not conceal the breath-taking sobs forcing themselves out my throat, making my chest ache even more.

It was true. It wasn't the biggest of my problems that she didn't like me. But still...

“All the in' things you did to me....”, I croaked. The rain was so loud, nothing I would ever shout this instant would ever reach anyone. It just pressed down on me further. I felt isolated with this new burden on my shoulders she had given to me.
“We are the Inner Circle.”
Her words kept changing shapes in the confusion of my thoughts. Spiteful, burdening, desperate, confiding, malice.

Fury made the hairs on my body stay on end. My chest felt so appallingly hollow but at the same time it almost burst with rage.
Is this what it feels like to look back at your own footsteps because you lost your way, only to discover they have vanished?

“You looked on when they injected me with that poison, when they beat me... You did nothing to protect me.”, I murmured to myself.

I wouldn't have had made more of a fool out of myself if I had indeed hugged her one last time because they had already made me one. I had done so much for her.
If only I had known, I would have let that last guy beat her up a little more.

I woke up when broad daylight already burned through the blinds covering my windows.

Well, I had reached my apartment when the sun just began to taint the horizon with an overbearing royal blue.

My clock had run out of batteries a day ago and my phone's juice had run dry this night when I tried navigating home, having been entirely lost.

Only imagining reaching out to the charger caused me too much agony so I just gave up and went back to sleep.

The next time I woke up purple light filled through my blinds. It was either morning or evening. It would prove in a few minutes.

The first thought on my mind had been Sori.

I wanted to hate her. I did hate her, somewhere in my heart. For what she had done to me. Or rather for what she hadn't done. Walking home, the rain burning in my wounds, I had hated her. I really did want to.

But now, buried below my sheets, no other sound then the buzz of the fridge, I remembered the second after the door had closed the other night, me only standing a few paces away.

I heard her loud cries, her choking coughs. I tried not to crunch up my entire face when squeezing my eyes shut in the attempt to block tears from forming.

I didn't stay awake to see if it had been morning or evening.

“Ya!! Bob, yo