Love, love me do. You know I love you. I'll always be true. So please, love me do.

The year 2013

What the hell does Yong Junhyung wants now?!

Why is he suddenly back in Hyunseung’s life? For four whole years Hyunseung lived his life as if Junhyung never existed even though he admittedly finds it hard to do so. He tried, and eventually learned to be numb from the hurtful feeling of rejection. He accepted because he wasn’t much left with a choice. That is how life rolls, it would pretty you up at an unexpected time and his just got a better timing of being a victim in a young age. Aside from his petty love problems, his illness is not making it easier for him as well. It is not cool to be sick—to be helpless—to be dying at some point. However Hyunseung keeps on fighting all of his demons, with a little ray of hope in his being, that one day, eventually, he will soon experience and can proudly say that he died with living without regrets.

Or he very thought so.

Because now, he is regretting that he gave his phone number to the very person he never want to associate with. Junhyung means heartaches, painful memories, hopeless crushing—totally bad vibes, nothing to be excited about.

So why is his heart beating loudly and harshly against his chest as he never took a glance away from his phone?

Why is his body suddenly betraying him because he is absolutely sure when Junhyung hugged him earlier, the long gone sleeping butterflies in his stomach bombastically fluttered and caused a chaos inside his stomach? There is a sudden chills and shiver down his spine as his skin reacted from Junhyung’s near presence and warmth.  How would he explain because it felt too good? Junhyung never hugged him from before and Hyunseung had been dreaming all lifelong for a moment like that. It was so much better and far from what he imagined. If it was still the old him, he could’ve literally cried in front of the other man but he knows well enough that it shouldn’t happen ever.

His wall of defence is essentially growing as time goes by. It would be a shame if it’ll suddenly crumble down just because a certain man is back and judging by Junhyung’s actions earlier, he doesn’t seemed to kid when he said he needed a chance with Hyunseung this time.

What kind of chance is he talking about? It is not like Hyunseung dumped him. It was him who turned away from the poor doe eyed boy and not the other way around so why is Junhyung suddenly acting like the tables turned around?

Sounds like the roles had ridiculously switched.

Hyunseung might have a little humour from that.

He silently chuckled and mentally face palmed his self for thinking some pathetic thoughts once again.

It was the sound of his ringtone that startled him.

He had been quite familiar to know that it was Junhyung’s number that is on his screen. What should he do?

Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. Ignore.

He chanted repeatedly on his mind while shaking his head. It will only take a time before Junhyung will give up. Hyunseung is so sure about that.

His phone goes off for merely two seconds before it started ringing again. By the fifth try the other had done to contact him, Hyunseung got fed up and decided to set his phone on silent mode.

It is so much peaceful this way. He doesn’t need any additional stress that could only worsen his condition. For the past four years he had undergone a palliative treatment for his illness. He is receiving a scheduled blood transfusion every three months or when his body is feeling way weak than the normal. His only cure is for a bone marrow transplant and so far his luck is not yet struck by an amazing donor to come. He is losing time. The doctors hypothetically said that he is not lasting more than five years. Harsh but it is way better to know already about his impending doom.

He glanced over the black device and noticed that Junhyung had already stopped calling.

Damn, he never thought he could be this persistent.

He was about to reach for it when it began lighting again signalling that Junhyung is not yet giving up. Hyunseung is also aware about the tons of messages from his voicemail. He wanted to hear what Junhyung had to say to him but he is only doing that when his phone will be at peace and not constantly bombarded by any unwanted calls.

Maybe later when the night calls it already a day.

He thought his phone will blow up from the endless attempt of calls but about after an hour or so, Hyunseung exhaled a relieved sigh as he made sure that Junhyung had already stopped. It is not after that he look at his notification of 72 missed calls and 7 voicemails. He guessed it wouldn’t hurt if he listens to the voice messages.

“Hey, it was me Junhyung. Uhm, I kinda, uhm, I just wanted to say that, nevermind.”

Beep.

“Hey, it was me again. You know what—would you mind, uhm..”

Beep.

“I know I’m being pathetic now but please,” He could hear a heavy breath before the other continued. “Can you please answer your phone?”

Beep.

“Please Hyunseung? I’m begging you.”

Beep.

“I am annoying you, right? But I promise to stop if you’ll just answer your phone.”

Beep.

“I am sorry for being an okay. Hyunseung, please?”

Beep.

“I totally understand if you don’t want to talk to me. Sorry to bother you.”

Beep.

And that was the last one.

Hyunseung can