Why he had to go? I don't know, he wouldn't say. I said something wrong now I long for yesterday.

The year 2009
 

“I wanted you to stop. Stop chasing me.”

The moment those words left off his mouth, Junhyung knew he did it by impulse and stupidity. He was so taken aback about the sudden desire in him to take Hyunseung in his arms because he looks so fine and perfect at his side. Where he could sense the other’s heavenly scent lingering together with his very inviting lips, he thought he has completely gone mad! There is no way in his coherent and well-functioned mind that he would tell such things out of nowhere. Because for once, he is not supposed to give a single damn care about Hyunseung. Another one, he really didn’t intentionally want to hurt him like how Hyunseung took it. Lastly, somehow, he already managed to consider his feelings after all these years contrary to what he is saying every day to his self. He just can’t admit it defenseless but when he saw Hyunseung’s shocked and hurt grimace on his face, slowly tearing up his bright doe eyes, Junhyung can’t deny the sudden ache on his chest anymore.

Maybe this is his karma.

This unpleasant, odd sadness and emptiness he is feeling now.

It was too late to take back what he said though. Hyunseung avoided him like a plague and ridiculously how the roles switched in a blink of an eye. Not that Junhyung is the one doing the chasing now; it is just that Hyunseung is shutting him out of his life. But who can even tell? Maybe later he won’t mind and do the chase too—when he will totally go insane.

Neither did he also have to build up the guts he needed to apologize personally when apparently; he had all the time on his hands. It was not easy debating with your ego and emotions knowing that Junhyung’s ego is too big and would not back down easily.

Until he finished High School, he never saw Hyunseung again.

The last time he heard of him was when his cousin Dujun, paid him a visit once from his vacation. The guy just asked about some whereabouts because technically he is best friends with Hyunseung. It happened a few days after that night, and then Dujun didn’t say any word after. It’s not guaranteeing that Junhyung is suddenly interested but he is just laid back and relaxes on his new routine about not expecting some trouble from his stalker. Even though Hyunseung is constantly annoying him with his antics, he never once hated the guy. It was hard to do since Hyunseung is too innocent and caring and kind and beautiful and cheerful and amazing and selfless and did he already say he’s beautiful? And optimistic, and a great believer of certain things and is always helpful and yes, beautiful, very very beautiful.

He slowly clung his aching chest again and from the frantic beating of his heart. He didn’t notice when it started but one day it just happened. He found his self thinking about Hyunseung from time to time and his heart will always react like this—as if he’d just ran a marathon. He thought it was a bad thing and so he toned down a little.

He must be crazy. Who in their right mind casually thinks about their stalker?

Sadly, Junhyung does.

It was not easy accepting that he could possibly be falling for Hyunseung but he can’t help his self, it was painfully irrevocable. Every spare second he has, his mind would automatically drift upon a certain doe eyed boy about how he regretted what he said that night. About how he shouldn’t listen to his ego the entire time and see what could he possibly have with Hyunseung? Or sometimes he only wonders where he is now? What is he doing? Is he fine? Is he eating?

Probably the most outrageous thoughts he could ever think but for once he is being sincere.

And for the first time when Junhyung felt like he wanted to pursue someone, unfortunately that someone has already let go of his grasp.

If only he could turn back yesterday as well where he could treat Hyunseung better and right.

The year 2013

He didn’t know exactly how it happened but one moment, Junhyung found his self in a hospital bringing a woman who happened to be accidentally hit by his car. He was on his way to school (he is already in his last semester before graduating a University Degree) when suddenly a girl ran across the street and hit the bull’s eye.

Junhyung had always been the careful driver and this would be his first offense ever if the victim would press charge against him.

He sighed heavily. Feeling the incoming headache, he touched his temples for comfort.

It was not my fault she stupidly ran across from the street without looking where she is going!

Junhyung is already on the verge of losing his patience on the inside but outside he tried to remain calm said nothing. He is now on one of the seats in the waiting area while the victim was taken for an Xray checkup.

His mom and dad would probably take his car away when they find out and so he thinks immediately of a way to silence this girl no matter what! Hell, he will pay for all the damage just don’t let this news get to his parents. He was always the perfect son—until now. And Junhyung has no any intentions on spoiling his image that he earned for his entire life.

“Anyone for Ms. Goo Hara here?” He heard a female attendant called from the doorway. Junhyung knew it was the same room where his victim was taken and without caring about the said name, he stood up and walked towards her.

“And you are her?”

“I’m no one in particular. Just the unlucky driver who hit her.” Junhyung replied as stoic as he could sound.

“Oh, you can discuss your legal stuff later, for the mean time you can already take her home. Luckily she didn’t have any serious bone fracture. Her right thigh is bruised though but it will heal some time after. Here is also the prescription in case the pain would increase.”

Junhyung took the small white paper lend out to him. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome and be careful always.”

He was about to walk away when the woman called out again for him.

“