Help me if you can I'm feeling down and I do appreciate you being 'round. Help me get my feet back on the ground. Won't you please, please help me?

The year 2009

If there is one reason why Hyunseung never mind chasing Yong Junhyung despite the unpleasant experiences he had from it—was because the latter never asked for him to stop. Not once after all these years. These awful ten years of waiting in vain and just by that one word, his hopes and dreams shattered into million pieces—alongside with his little poor heart.

Hyunseung felt like something precious was snatched away from him and he was so scared—so scared for this day to come, may it be inevitable, because this is the biggest thing he feared the most to happen. Leaving him completely clueless as to what must he do after because he never dares to accept it.

He had live more than half of his life admiring and loving someone yet asking for him to stop is like literally giving up his heart and he would eventually die without it. Hyunseung wanted to scream, wanted to lash out all of his frustrations. He had been nothing but a failure. He loved only one man yet he can not do the favor of returning his feelings! He was so useless because nobody likes him and no one will find him any worth.

Hyunseung wanted to disappear already.

And so he ran away. He was too coward to face what Junhyung wanted and hell, he would do everything for him. Even this one painful and deadly favor the other asked for. He ran away before too much chaos will happen—before he will make his self a complete fool in front of Yong ing Junhyung.

Damn. Hyunseung loved him too much.

And damn, Hyunseung is hurting too much too. The tears seem to be endless running down on his cheeks, his hiccups worsen every single minute passed and his mind will remain a broken mess for a long time. But he finds this behavior more appealing now. He doesn’t want to do anything but cry and cry and cry until he hope that he will be numb somehow. Until his body would give up that Hyunseung, you already had enough.

He never thought he would cry so much for someone in his life. Is this what a real heartbreak felt like? If so, Hyunseung regrets he had been in love. The feeling is not pleasant at all and irritating at the same time. Who else is to blame? None other than his pathetic for being a complete idiot chasing someone who is obviously not returning his feelings.

Hyunseung guessed he had been so much blinded with his fantasies.

Junhyung is simply cruel. Junhyung killed him with his words. Hyunseung is not even sure if he could bare facing him in person after because he felt too ashamed—too embarrassed—too foolish that in a blink of an eye Junhyung got him hurt pretty hard—that Junhyung stabbed his heart with a dagger, twisted it multiple times on his beating flesh, painfully ripped it open wide, letting the blood flow heavily unto his defenseless body and threw it away on the ground as if it’s some piece of trash for him to only step and spit on it.

How do you expect could Hyunseung live after that?

Everything is too painful to bear and he badly needed some help!

The year 2009

A week had passed and Hyunseung still made sure that he never cross paths with Junhyung. He is still broken and in too much pain that returning to his old self is such a hard task to fulfill. He is also still grieving from the sudden death of his poor heart. A week is not enough to try and fix what has been broken. Hell, he guessed even for the rest of his life is still not enough to set his heart into life again. It would be impossible.

Hyunseung just doesn’t have the initiative to cope up from a misery because when Dujun left him before, he went into isolating his self for how many months before some kid in a blue superman shirt caught his attention and for the first time, brought some hope in his life.

Little did he know that same person who gave him the hope he needed will be the one who would also crush it and crumble his world—in the most possible cruel way he could think of.

This time is entirely different though. Because this time he has no one to lean on. No one would catch him from this deep fall he’s experiencing. He doesn’t know if someone will still give him the same hope he found before.

All Hyunseung got was his mom. The only woman that loves him unconditionally and would never hurt him. Suddenly he felt like being that little kid again who only wanted to be comforted by his loving mother.

She was right all this time.

The world is full of cruel people and without paying close attention, someone had already stabbed you from behind (the most acceptable way to do so) unlike his experience in which Junhyung did it right in front of him. His mom kept on reminding him to be careful in trusting people but the foolish and stubborn boy he is, Hyunseung did the other way around and let his guard fall down completely, surrendering his whole self to someone who sees him nothing more than but a crazy stalker.

He should see it coming. Junhyung is pretty sending him neon lights of I will never love you nonetheless silly Hyunseung ignored it and tend to believe his own lie that maybe Junhyung is still confused.

Confuse his . Junhyung was never confused. And Junhyung was never in love with him.

He let another tear fall down his cheeks but immediately dried them with his palm. He had enough of crying but he can’t help it. It seems that his tears will be his companion for quite an amount of time and will not leave him soon. But at least he got something—better than nothing.

He groaned while burying his face with his pillow when he realized how pathetic he sounded.

Buzz

Obviously someone is at their door. As much as Hyunseung doesn’t want to see anyone, he can’t leave the person out waiting knowing that no one is at the house but him. His mom is off to work and he got home early from school.

Dragging his self out of the bed, he didn’t bother to fix his self aside from wiping away some pathetic tears from his eyes. Maybe the person could tell that he just woke up from a heavy sleep. Whatever, he doesn’t really care.

Scratch that because now he totally cares!

He knows it’s been so long since he last time he saw him but Hyunseung can exactly tell who is in front of him.

An eighteen year old version of his best friend, Yoon Dujun.

“Seungie?”

“Dujunie..” He didn’t even utter a complete sentence before he was engulfed by a pair of warm and strong arms. He can never be happy until this moment happened. He thought he was losing hope yet another being is here for him.

“Dujunie, I need you.” He badly pleaded.

“Seungie, it’s okay. I’ll be here. I’m here.”

“I’m so glad that you’re finally back.”

“I am happy too. I missed you so much. God, it was so different without you.”

Now Dujun let him go just to actually have a proper look at his face.

“Have you been crying?”

Ever since Junhyung gave Dujun’s number to him, they immediately clicked and reconnected again like the usual. Being with Dujun is very different than being with anyone. Hyunseung can care less about his faults and weaknesses because Dujun is already most aware of them. So when he told him about his liking towards his best friend’s cousin, the other didn’t fail to support him. And telling him that he got his heart broken too is not that hard since he really need to lean on someone. Everything is too heavy and is severely draining him out.

Dujun hugged him again but this time in sympathy—not in the God-I-missed-you-so-much way they did a while ago.

“I’m sorry that bastard hurt you. Don’t worry I’m going to knock some sense in his stupid head.”

“Please don’t do that. I know you tend to be physical when you’re mad Doo but please?