You'll never know how much I really love you. You'll never know how much I really care. Listen, do you want to know a secret? Do you promise not to tell?

The year 2013

Junhyung never felt frightened in his life until today. The sight of Hyunseung falling on to the ground, if not much for his fast instinct, the boy would have really hit the floor. It is scary knowing that he has little much insight about what is happening to the unconscious being in his arms, painful to realize that Hyunseung successfully built the wall between them. Any moment now he could lose him, he doesn’t know why he is in this such situation. If only his embrace and touch were enough to make Hyunseung awake again then he couldn’t be happier and thankful anymore. It is quite hard to comprehend what to do because all he knew was Hyunseung needs help--his help. To be quite frank he doesn’t know where he is standing in Hyunseung’s life. It is as if his role is bizarre and unclear yet he is there, he must be there for him.

Grabbing all of the unconscious man’s weight, he gently laid him down on the couch. That’s the only reasonable thing he could think for now. It is not everyday he witnesses someone collapsing in front of him and this is actually the first time he dealt with something like this. Fortunately with the said situation, he can still see the gentle falling and rising of Hyunseung’s chest, indicating that the other is not near to dying. But it is not an assurance at all. He kept on running his hands on Hyunseung’s sleeping face--he is still burning and maybe a cool damp of cloth could help him. Junhyung made sure first that Hyunseung is safely placed on the couch before maneuvering his way in the house for some supplies to alleviate a sick person.

He can think a lot of possibilities though as to what is happening to Hyunseung. The other can’t seriously be sick, perhaps simply overfatigued and with the recent weather, the chilly wind and brizzle flakes falling from the sky is not helping at all. Hyunseung will tell him, right? Junhyung is scared less and it won’t help being a pessimist but the his worriness is only igniting as time passes by with Hyunseung still unconscious.

All he can do is stare, and actually wait.

For some sign that Hyunseung could be waking up.

It didn’t happen though. Albeit Mrs. Jang got home which plastered her face with so much care and fear for her only child, grateful towards Junhyung that he stood by his side which is unnecessary, Junhyung kept on objecting though. It wasn’t a big deal at all to take care of a sick person. His doubts were cleared when the woman finally said that Hyunseung only got the flu and maybe strolling for longer time outside made his body gave up.

“He just need some rest.” She assured him once again.

“He’s been out for three hours now.”

“He is only sleeping, dear. Worry not much. You yourself needs some of it.”

“I don’t want to leave him.”

“You can always come back tomorrow, Junhyung. And it’ll be better because for sure he’ll be awake and you’ll like that, right?”

And woman, was she so right.

Junhyung would more than appreciate a responsive and smiling Hyunseung, as much as he didn’t want to leave he felt defeated. The whole night he didn’t sleep. He can’t sleep. His thoughts won’t let him. It kept replaying on his mind how Hyunseung collapsed and how sick and helpless the other looked. The amount of struggle he is having now because he badly wanted to be there for him. To protect him. To hold him in his arms. To take good care of him. To shower him with sweetness and love.

Love.

Junhyung sighed heavily as he finally came in to his realization. He actually loves Hyunseung. So much that it suffocates him now. Because from the very start the other is already special to him, he just cant face it. And when he felt that he could lose him earlier, he would go insane. The realization hit him so hard that he decided he won’t waste anymore time to pursue his love. If Hyunseung would accept him, man he can’t hope for anything brilliant than that. Is this how Hyunseung felt when he was so madly in love with him? And the great fool he is, he only rejected the poor man’s feelings and made the coward himself and runaway.

Karma hurts like a . And Junhyung hoped that Hyunseung would at least give him a chance. A single chance that wouldn’t put in waste and would only prove him that he deserves it. Hyunseung deserves someone to love him dear and Junhyung is afraid that he could bloody offer it all. If only Hyunseung won’t have a heart of stone like he used to have, Junhyung could say goodbye to his pride and ego and live wonderfully with the man he loves.

The year 2013

The tomorrow that he waited actually never came. Hyunseung seems to be avoiding him, and man he is doing a better job. It is the fourth time he is visiting the Jang’s residence since the incident and not even the other’s shadow had showed up. Not even Mrs. Jang’s. It is as if nobody was in the house and he is only making a fool out of himself for waiting in vain.

If Hyunseung doesn’t want to see him he could at least know why. Mrs. Jang won’t hide from him too ev