Hi! This is my first fanfic! Don't know why I started with angst. But here you go!

Enjoy!

Already Hurt

SHINee was just about done with their promotions with Dream Girl and when they were done, they were told that they were allowed to go back to their dorms to rest. Their managers, stylists and the rest of the staff congratulated all five of them for the constant wins during the past few weeks as they left the building.

It didn't take long for them to get back to their dorm and once all five of them were inside, they all went into their rightful rooms except for one. Taemin was out in the living room and as he sat down on the couch, he noticed Jinki walking to his room quite happily and excited despite their long tiring schedules. He noticed that the elder left him there without saying a goodnight like he'd usually do, but he knew why Jinki was like that.

Taemin didn't mean to fall in love with his leader, his hyung, he didn't, not at all. But who was he to blame? The elder had charms that you couldn't just ignore. Even as a young boy back then, he just couldn't ignore the fact that he was constantly growing feelings for the latter, but he couldn't say anything about it because... what if Jinki found him weird?

As Taemin stared to where Jinki left off to, he unconsciously pouted. He thought about what he could do to make his hyung realize what he was feeling deep inside, but considering that they were part of the same group, he couldn't do that. Everything would be awkward between them and they both had already been awkward during their 'Sherlock' era and he's 100% sure he doesn't want it to be like that ever again.

Another reason why he can't say anything about his feelings would be that it might split the group up and he couldn't risk damaging his friends' careers and dreams.

But these were just his thoughts though.

The maknae would've been pouting unconsciously for a few minutes longer if it weren't for Jonghyun who came in to see if he was still there. The puppy-like singer wondered why Taemin wasn't already in their shared room; he wondered about what Taemin was possibly doing, when all the younger did was whine that he wanted to sleep all throughout their schedule.

Jonghyun left his room to get Taemin but as he was walking out the door he saw Jinki close the door to his room rather happily. At this time he couldn't give a damn what Jinki was being happy about since he had other things in mind and so, he continued his way to the living room and stood by the entrance just in time to see the pout forming on the younger's face knowing full and damn well why the younger had it.

"Taemin-ah, you okay? You seem like you're going through some stuff or having deep thoughts..." The singer said as he approached the boy, situating himself beside him.

Jonghyun couldn't handle that Taemin was having a hard time just because of a silly thing called love, but who was he to say that when he, himself, was in a relationship with Kim Kibum. The singer wanted the younger to feel the love he felt too but he knew that couldn't happen. Well... right now it couldn't.

Taemin-ah, it's been too long since you've been hurting.

"A-ani hyung” Taemin chuckled “just tired and all. I was just... you know... about to go to the room and rest, thanks for asking though." He forced a smile which was obviously fake. He wanted to convince his hyung that he was perfectly fine but there was no use in doing this when they both knew he wasn't. Jonghyun could see through him any time. After all Jonghyun was the one to know Taemin the longest, but even if he knew him the longest, the younger liked having Jinki to talk to and hang out with instead.

The singer wanted to so badly comfort the younger like he always did when Jinki wasn't there, but he knew that the others were still awake; he knew that Taemin didn't want the others to worry for him furthermore. So he made a promise to himself that he'll comfort the dancer as much as he can in the future.

***

Taemin stood up to leave to his room. He changed into comfy clothes and just as he was about to go to the bathroom and wash his face because his stylist nagged him to, Jonghyun came in with two banana milks and a few unhealthy snacks in hand.

Jonghyun knew that the younger liked to eat late at night and so he brought the snacks that he would normally catch the other eating, and of course he didn't forget the banana milk. This was his way of comforting the younger in a subtle way and he was quite proud of it since a small smile formed on the younger's face.

The singer walked towards the younger and gave him the banana milk with a smile and continued his way to the nightstand and placed the other one there as he threw the snacks onto his bed. Taemin was thankful that his hyung was trying his best to make him happy for a bit but this left him to wonder if the elder had anything to say.

"Hyung, do you have anything to say because right now it looks like you're the one in deep thoughts." He chuckled a bit referring to what the elder said a few minutes ago. "Taemin-ah, I... uh... I still know you're hurting." By the time Jonghyun finished his sentence, Taemin flushed knowing that he got caught again.

Jonghyun and Taemin may not be close to their peer's eyes but the two have known the other long enough to know what the other was thinking or feeling.The younger let out a nervous chuckle. "I g-guess you might of caught on... again?" Taemin asked already knowing the answer to his question. He couldn't look at the main vocalist and suddenly he found the floor to be interesting.

"Taemin-ah if you want someone to talk to, you know I'm here, not as a member of the group you're in, not as a friend, but as an older brother." Jonghyun found himself always reminding Taemin that he will always be there for him no matter what. He sighed as he finished telling the younger yet again and gave the younger the most caring look he can give through his eyes.

"I know hyung..." Taemin felt awkward just standing there looking at the floor and so he sat on his bed, playing with his ring that he constantly lost during performances. "It's just that everything.. like the schedules and stu-"

"Taemin-ah you know what I mean." Jonghyun cuts in. He takes a few seconds thinking of what was good to say next, he didn’t want the younger to feel like he was being lectured.

"I don't get it... I already know that you have feelings for Jinki hyung? So why do you still keep it away from me? I know it's hard to keep it all in after all these years and after what happened..." He then stands from where he was sitting and sits beside the younger to pat his knee. With that Taemin lifted his head with tears forming in his eyes because he knew exactly what the elder was talking about.

Flashback -

A few days ago a friend of his and Jinki had asked if Jinki and this girl were close friends. He wondered for a bit not knowing what the younger was talking about. Their friend being Sehun told him to look into Jinki's tweets and so he did and saw that Jinki had been tweeting back and forth to AfterSchool's Jungah.

A couple of days later the media caught the leader of SHINee and the leader of AfterSchool on their so called "date". At first Taemin thought it was just some misunderstanding, so he let it slip to the back of his mind, forgetting about it. He also didn't speak about it to the members, thinking it was just some rumour because he knew that Jinki would probably tell him if he was dating anyone at the moment. That's how much they trusted one another. Well... that's what he thought.

You have no idea how happy the dancer felt when the media said that both his company and AfterSchool's company denied that Jinki and Jungah were dating. However, after he read that article, Jinki asked to speak to the group. They gathered in the living room sitting in their favorite seats. Before the leader even got to talking, Taemin had a weird feeling about what was going to happen, but he also let that slip to the back of his head thinking that s were just tired.

So what was this meeting for? Well, Jinki told them that Jungah and him were actually dating and that denying it was the only way that his girlfriend won't receive too many hates. Right when the dancer heard that he looked down at his lap and tried his best not to let a single tear fall.

Jonghyun and Key focused more on their maknae instead of the conversation itself, knowing that this brand new information was probably hurting the young dancer. The leader continued to explain to details of the news and explained to them how the two began talking. Now knowing the full story, Taemin couldn't handle it anymore. He hated how the stylist cut his hair short because now he couldn't hide the hurt that filled his eyes.

After explaining everything, Jinki reminded Jonghyun and Key that they had schedules and reminded the other two that they didn't. After a few minutes the three left to go do their solo activities and Minho left to go to Super Juniors' dorm.

Now imagine how hurt Taemin felt... Imagine how hurt he felt when he thought he could finally confess his love to the only person he fell in love with. He could've confessed in the past, but he didn't and now... he couldn't... He couldn't confess because the person he had ever loved, now had a lover, a girlfriend.

The couple didn't want to leave Taemin behind knowing the dancer was in pain from the conversation they just had, but they had no choice but to leave him there. They bid goodbye and sent him a smile reminding him to stay strong. As soon as everyone left, Taemin went to his room and tried his very best not to cry.

He knew it was too late to do anything now, so just this once he allowed himself to cry all the feelings out that he's been keeping in for years. He whimpered and cried quietly once he calmed down because he now knew he didn't have a chance to prove that he would be the best lover that Jinki could ever have and he kept sobbing until sleep took over him.

He knew that sleeping will be one of his favourite things to do from now on because sleeping took the pain away. The pain he tried his very best to hide. He just slept, hoping everything that happened was just a dream — a nightmare.

***

The members were just entering their building from their late schedules while Minho will be staying the night at Super Juniors' dorm. However, Jonghyun was walking rather quickly to get to their dorm while the other two were taking their time.

Right when the singer entered the front door, he quickly took off his shoes and ran to his room, wanting to check on the maknae he was so worried about. His heart broke at the sight he just entered in. Right on the bed was Taemin, curled into his bed, cradling himself. Right away, he knew that the younger had cried himself to sleep again.

He had also been through that before and he didn't like how Taemin was going through the same thing now and in the next few days, Jonghyun saw the younger sleeping, but he knew Taemin wasn't sleeping because of their schedules, Taemin was sleeping because his mind and heart couldn't handle what he has learned.

***

Out at the hallway, Key wondered why Jonghyun was rushing, then he remembered what happened before they left. He hurriedly stalked the hallways until he got to the designated room. He walked in quietly and saw the singer hugging a crying boy, the sight also broke his heart. None of them liked seeing the youngest in pain, the last time they saw the boy like this was when they learned that the boy was being bullied in school for being an idol.

He walked forward asking what had happened even if he perfectly knew well. The younger tried to speak, but words wouldn't form and instead they were caught in his throat. By the time Taemin had finally calmed down, he knew the leader was home as well considering the couple was. With that in mind, he forced himself to stop crying. He didn't want Jinki to be curious of what was happening in the room and find him being comforted by the two.

"H-hyung, everything's fine, d-don't worry, just got scared all of the sudden." Taemin didn't fully lie, he was scared. Scared that Jinki will forget about him. Scared that Jinki wouldn't need him anymore. The couple didn't do anything but played along with the younger. If Taemin wasn't ready to let things out then they'll wait. They wouldn't push it, since they knew the younger would eventually open up to them.

"Awe, our poor maknae." Key hugged him, do you need anything before I go?" Taemin only shook his head with a smile. Key knew Jonghyun would look after the younger, he always did when Jinki was gone, so he left. He also knew Taemin didn't like a lot of people to see him cry since he barely did. However, the rapper couldn't resist checking once in awhile to make sure that the dancer was alright.

Flashback end -

Jonghyun and Taemin talked and ate for a while after reminiscing the events that shattered his heart into pieces. Jonghyun knew that the younger was trying his best to avoid questions dealing with how he was feeling or about the situation for that matter, so he didn’t to push it. Taemin didn’t need to be reminded of the feelings he was trapped in.

Finally, getting ready for bed, the both of them tried to sleep as peacefully as they possibly could.

Only waiting for tomorrow to come sooner — hopefully with more smiles.

So that was the first chapter! Hope you guys liked it! Please tell me if it's hard to understand. So that I can try to change it!

Thanks for reading!