She was driving around for almost an hour, she didn’t have a destination in mind, and she just followed traffic, turned whenever she felt like. It required all her focus and it was what she needed. When she stopped at a red light she saw the Seoul Metropolitan Library across the street and decided to stop there.

She was browsing the shelves when she happened upon a comfortable looking alcove. She grabbed the nearest volume available and settled herself to read but the moment she opened the book, her mind remembered everything that transpired earlier.  She closed the book back up as she sighs, books are her usual escape but now they are not even giving her comfort, she looked around and was relieved that save for a few, the place was empty. She turned to the window overlooking the streets outside and watched the frenzy among people and vehicles.

She envied the people who rushed around trying to get to their destinations, busy with errands, meet deadlines, and arrive on time. She laughs quietly, she figured anything will do, she just needs to un-feel right now. She can’t believe how much pain she felt when she heard him say those words, more so when she realized they were all true.

The problem is she is not mad at him, she is mad at herself. She was the one who sought him out in the first place, she allowed him in. She gave him the right to hurt her like this by loving him.

So there is no one to blame but me.

She doesn’t know if this is what they call heartbreak or its just plain disappointment, she wasn’t sure. Her total lack of experience baffled her, she can’t decide whether she runs and hide like her usual M.O. or act like nothing happened and wait for him to confront her and tell her to her face that he is done.

She was favoring the first option since she is used to doing that, but thought the better of it, she had promised the girls that she was going to take them out to dinner tomorrow night before she leaves for the Philippines. It’s been her tradition to spend the holidays there; she wants total cut-off from her work, so no phones or even the internet for the duration. She was going to give them their presents in advance like always, she just makes it up to them when she gets back.

She pulled her phone out and turned it on to call her assistant, she wants to let the woman know where she was. She turned it off earlier, she was not in the mood to take calls that time, she wanted to think.

She was surprised when she saw multiple missed calls from Siwon, Carol and Victoria. She stared at the screen for a while before she realized it.

They know! How?

She was trying to decide who to call first when she noticed another number listed on her missed call log. Her heart jumped when she recognized who it came from. She punched that contact right away and slapped the phone to her ear. She was trying not to panic. They only call when there is an emergency.

God please, not her! I beg you!

When the line clicked she hurriedly talked, “Hi, it’s Miranda. I saw that you tried to get hold of me. What happened?” she tried to sound calm.

She paled when she heard the other person talk. She gripped her phone tighter and closed her eyes to force herself to calm down.

“Where is she now? How is she?” her voice almost cracking, she had to clear .

“No! I will be there right away. Thank you for calling, yes please, I really appreciate it.” She bid goodbye and hurriedly pressed Carol’s number. She gathered her things and got up and hurriedly went for the exit.

“Car, get me a flight out right now. I need to be in Manila now!” she ordered her assistant. She paused by the elevators and turned to push the door for the stairs, her feet stumbling as she grabbed for the rails. “She had a heart attack! I have to get to her right now!” her voiced cracked, she was trying her best not to cry but failed, she started to whimper, she heard Carol talking to her in a soothing way to get her to calm down. She nods, “Okay, no I will get a taxi. I’m at the Seoul Metropolitan Library, have somebody fetch the car. Thank you.” She moves back to the door after she calmed down a little, “call me as soon as you get confirmation. Yes, don’t worry I’ll be careful.” She hangs up and presses another number.

“Hello! Bert, I need you to pick me up later, yes in few hours.” She proceeded to give more instructions as he rides the elevator down.

She called for a taxi and requested that she be driven to the airport, she gave the driver extra instructions before going back to talk to her ranch foreman and friend. The car pulled up in the departure area, she handed the driver her fare and thanked the man. A uniformed airport staff opened the door for her and ushered her into a town car. She was on the phone again with Carol giving a few more instructions, after a few minutes the car arrived at the hangar. She was still on the phone with Carol when staff opened the car door for her and helped her out, she put her assistant on hold, “Is everything ready?” she asks the aviation personnel.

The man in a business suit nods, “Yes ma’am. You’re all set to go.”

She nods, “Thank you.” She was helped into the plane and the man gave a few more instructions to the crew before he bowed an exit.

“Oh Mr. Park” Miranda called out to him, he turned back to her expecting an order.

“Happy holidays.” She gave him a warm smile.

“Thank you Miss Lee. You too, have a safe flight.” He smiles.

Miranda nods and gets back to Carol, “Thank you for doing this for me.” She finally relaxed a bit; she gave her flight attendant a smile when the woman placed