"CHOI SIWON!!" 

Eunhyuk Hyung yelled as he entered his best friend's apartment... our apartment.

"CHOI SIWON! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

Donghae hyung alternated in yelling. Siwon's best friends kept on searching the house, taking two steps at a time running up the stairs to our room. Eunhyuk hyung slammed open the door. There inside, they found the apple of my eye packing his things.

"Don't tell me you're leaving for Hawaii again?" Donghae hyung asked rhetorically.

"I am." Siwonnie replied in a serious tone as he continued to squeeze in his things... and mine inside the luggage.

Eunhyuk hyung noticed he is packing for two. "Choi Siwon, are you nuts? Do you have to do this every year?" He asked my boyfriend as he sat beside him on the bed, touching my things inside the travelling bag. 

"I am also going to Paris and London after Hawaii. Because tomorrow is our..."

"Wedding anniversary." Donghae hyung finished his sentence for him.

"Yes... and I need to celebrate it... with him."

I walked towards Wonnie and knelt in front of him, with tears b in my eyes.

Won... sweetie...

I tried to reach out to him but I know it wouldn't matter now.

Wonnie... I know you do this every year... every year since... baby... I have always been there... beside you.

The love of my life went on with his packing but halted when it was our photograph in Hawaii that was next to be put in.

Donghae hyung sat on the other side of the bed, next to Siwon and smoothed his back. 

"But today is Kyu's death anniversary, Siwonnie. We are hoping you could come with us at the mountains to visit his.."

"NO!!" Siwon hyung said at the top of his lungs. He stood up and ran his fingers through his hair.

I followed him, wanting to wrap him badly in my arms.

Wonnie... 

There were tears in his eyes.. and mine. He was still holding on to our photograph, which he now securely held near his heart.

"Siwonnie... it's been two years.. Kyuhyun has gone for a couple of years, yet you never went to his grave.. not even once..."

Siwon hyung turned around to face hia friends."BECAUSE HE ISN'T GONE, HYUNG! KYUHYUN HASN'T LEFT ME! YOU HEAR ME?!"

Honey... 

"CHOI SIWON! KYUHYUN IS GONE... WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT, OUR MAKNAE IS GONE!! HE PASSED AWAY TWO YEARS AGO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! WHY CAN'T YOU ACCEPT THAT?!" Eunhyuk hyung yelled back at him, frustrated.

Siwonnie stared back at him with glistening eyes. Teardrops continued to fall from those beautiful eyes.

"BECAUSE THAT'S THE ONLY WAY I CAN GO ON WITH MY LIFE, HYUK. BECAUSE KNOWING KYUHYUN IS STILL HERE WITH ME IS THE ONLY WAY I'D BE ABLE TO BREATHE... TO WALK... TO TALK... TO CONTINUE BEING SUPER JUNIOR... TO GO ON AS AN ACTOR. IN OTHER WORDS, TELLING MYSELF THAT KYUHYUN HASN'T LEFT ME WOULD LET ME LIVE. DO YOU GUYS UNDERSTAND?!"

Oh my God, honey... please don't...

My baby sat on the floor, his back against the wall and brought his knees close to his chest, not letting go of the photograph in his hands.

Donghae and Eunhyuk hyung approached him and touched his hand.

"You guys, and my family have asked me to leave this house so many times. But every time I attempt to, my heart just couldn't take it. Because if I move out of this place, it would mean that Kyuhyun is gone... gone forever. And no... I just cannot take that... it would kill me... I'd die. Because if it wasn't for me.. he..."

"NO, SIWON! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! God, are you still blaming yourself for what happened?" Donghae hyung interrupted.

He is right, sweetie. It is not your fault. It never was.

"Hae, all my life, I have protected Kyuhyun from car accidents. Because I have experienced how it felt once to almost lost him because of it... we all did. But the stupid me... the impatient me... called him when I clearly know he was driving alone. With just one phone call, I lost him... I lost my baby..."

Eunhyuk hyung closed his eyes feeling Siwon's pain. "No, Siwon. It was a drunk driver's fault. It was an accident... please put that in your mind."

My dear Siwon shook his head. "No, Hyuk. If I hadn't called and told him to hurry on... Kyu!! Kyu!!!" Siwon broke down and buried his face on his hands. 

Baby... please... don't do this... listen to them. It is not your fault... Siwonnie.

Donghae hyung Siwonnie's back as he cried everything out. "But, man, you have to let go. You have to start accepting the fact that Kyukyu has left us. So you can move on..."

My Siwon looked to them again. "No, Hae. I will never let go. I promised... we promised to never let go. I lost Kyuhyun the day before our wedding anniversary, guys. That is why I always go to the places we've been. Because that is where I most feel he is with me. "And in this house, I have always felt that he is with me whenever I am here. Call me crazy or delusional, but it's true. His scent still lingers here... he protects me at night when I sleep and lay beside me, Hae.. Hyuk..."

Babe... I am here. Always...

I wanted to touch his face, so I tried. I felt him... his cheeks resting on my palm. And it felt so good.

Oh God, Wonnie... I miss you... I love you... can you feel me?

Siwon held his breath for a second. Then, I saw those dark orbs stare at me... full of love like it did when we were still together.

"What is it, Siwon?" Eunhyuk hyung noticed his silence.

"Kyu? Baby? Is that you?" Siwon looked around and stopped at where my eyes was staring back at him. "Oh baby, I am sorry... sorry... I am so sorry... why did you have to leave me so soon?" 

My love once again bawled as I reach out to touch his face again. 

Honey... I am sorry...

"Siwon, what are you saying? What do you mean Kyuhyun is here?" Donghae hyung has always believed in things like this... because it happened to him and his dad.

Donghae hyung, can you see me? God, I miss you... I miss all of you.

I didn't know if Hae hyung could feel my presence. He was waiting for Siwon's answer. 

"Hae..." Siwon finally spoke. "I felt him... I felt Kyu touched me... here." He touched the cheeks where my hand was still laying... and once again, we made contact. "See? I told you he is still here... I know he will always be here." Siwonnie looked at Eunhyuk hyung then next at Donghae hyung. "Please understand that seeing all the things that remind me of my one great love is the only thing that's keeping my sanity."

Eunhyuk hyung caressed his best friend's arms. "Alright, Siwon. But.. won't you please come with us now? Please Wonnie, all the members are hoping you would."

"Siwonnie, please?" Donghae hyung pleaded.

I cupped Wonnie's face in my hands and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

Please, honey. It's time... time to let me go. But I promise to still look after you... Wonnie, please...

Siwon closed his eyes. "Okay."

~~~~~o~~~~~~

"Hi there, Kyu." Teukkie hyung greeted as soon as they arrived. Our cry baby of a leader just couldn't help but tear again. And because it is contageous, all 14 of them started to cry.

"Ya... maknae. Look who's here..." Heechul hyung sat in front of my tombstone, with Hangeng hyung beside him.

"Kyuhyun-ah... I am sorry I wasn't here last year." Hangeng hyung bowed his head as his tears fell. "I miss you, Kyu... we all miss you." Geng hyung placed the blue rose he bought for me.

I miss you all too...

"Kyu..." Siwon spoke. "Kyu..." My boyfriend was bawling now. "I miss you... I so damn terribly miss you." Siwonnie fell to his knees and Yesung hyung was there to comfort him. "Babe, I know I haven't said goodbye yet... no, I don't wanna say goodbye. I love you, Cho Kyuhyun. I still love you... will always love you. I know I would see you soon.. please wait for me. It may take some time but I hope you wait for me..."

Of course, silly. And by then, we can live happy ever after...

"Happy anniversary, love. I will be in Hawaii again. Let's celebrate, okay? In Paris and London too..."

"Must you go, Siwon?" Leeteuk hyung asked.

"Yes, hyung. And I will continue to do it for the rest of my life..."

________

BREAKING NEWS - KOREAN AIR FLIGHT BACK TO SEOUL FROM LONDON CRASHED. SUPER JUNIOR'S CHOI SIWON REPORTED TO BE ONE OF THE FATALITIES.

Why, hello there, handsome?

Hey, babe. I told you I won't be long. I love you...

I love you too...

--------------

Author's note: Sorry for this guys... I thought of making this when I discovered that it was always Siwon who dies in wonkyu fics. Did I make you cry? Don't worry, I did too... this broke my heart really bad since Kyu is my uber bias. 😭😭😭 Please leave me a comment. Update on my other stories will come soon.