“Hongbin, you need to come in. Fashion week is soon and you haven’t done any of the shoots you were supposed to do. Nor attend any of the meetings.”

“Hyung –”

“I don’t care about your other commitments. I know you’re busy but you’re going to have to come in to the office now if not this thing the company has been working on will fall through. You’re not leaving until you’re done.”

“Are you serious?” Hongbin asks incredulously. “But hyung my shoots are going to take days. You know that.”

“And you know better than to neglect your work.”

“Hakyeon hyung this is too last minute –” Hongbin runs a hand through his hair. “I – The boy living with me –”   

“Bring him along, then. I’m calling all the model agencies now so you better show up. I’ll be waiting. Be here in 10.”

Hongbin flings his phone onto the couch and lets out a growl of frustration. Hongbin plops himself down on the cushion, feeling his phone vibrate under his back – probably a final threat from his stupid, stupid boss. He covers his face with his hands, trying to figure out a plan of action in his head.

Sanghyuk pauses his game and looks worriedly at Hongbin. “Hyung… is everything ok?”

Hongbin sits up and tries to school his expression into something more – calm but all he can come up with is a weak nod. The last two times Hongbin left Sanghyuk by himself, things didn’t turn out well, and Hongbin knows that he would be completely stupid to leave Sanghyuk at home again. The muscles on the profile of his jaw tighten without volition, bulging and straining against the skin. The clenched jaw sends an acute pain to the side of his head and Hongbin has to consciously tell his own body to relax.

 “Hey, Sanghyuk?”

Sanghyuk immediately whips around. “Yes, hyung?”

“Do you – perhaps… want to come to work with me? Like, out of the house?”

Sanghyuk’s eyes grow fearful and distant, like he’s physically getting further away. Hongbin can almost see the gears turning in his head. Then it changes. It doesn’t lighten up the way you would expect refocusing to be – just changes like the thought and his surroundings had lit up a short spark in his irises. Then it’s gone like it was never there.

“I have to go to work today and I just don’t feel safe leaving you here alone. I mean, it’s totally okay if you don’t want to go, but are you going to be okay at home? The last time…”

Sanghyuk grows silent, fiddling with the strap of his PSP. Hongbin doesn’t push, just allowing the younger boy to weigh his options.

“I think – sure, hyung. I’ll go.”                                           

“Please don’t force yourself to do the things you don’t want to do.” Hongbin says gently.

“No, hyung. I’m sure.” Sanghyuk’s words contrast starkly with his faint smile but Hongbin decides to let it go. He has five minutes to get ready.

***

Sanghyuk steps out of the bathroom, self-consciously holding onto the hem of his shirt. Hongbin stops packing his gear into his bag and turns his attention to the person standing in front of him. He looks way better than Hongbin could have ever imagined. His clothes are a little loose around the edges (Hongbin tells himself he’s going to see Sanghyuk become fatter even though it’s a little bit pedantic of him) but the navy striped long-sleeved shirt accentuates Sanghyuk’s shoulders perfectly.

“Do I – Do I look… okay?” Sanghyuk asks softly, icy tendrils of doubt creeping into his voice.

“You look more than okay.” Hongbin smiles with a dash of something that comes off a little bit more than just fondness. “You look great.”

Sanghyuk looks at the floor, trying to hide his embarrassment. “I think I like this outfit.”

“You probably should. It’s fantastic.” Hongbin smiles at how shy the boy is. “You ready?”

Sanghyuk lets out a shallow breath and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. “Yeah, I think so.”

“Hold on,” Hongbin suddenly says, squeezing past Sanghyuk into the bathroom, grabbing a bottle.

Hongbin uncaps it, holding the cover under his chin and stands in front of Sanghyuk. “Hold still,” Hongbin scoops some wax out of the bottle and starts to run his fingers through Sanghyuk’s hair. Sanghyuk can feel Hongbin’s breath on his cheek but for once in a very long time, he doesn’t flinch because it’s Hongbin.

He’s okay with Hongbin.

It still doesn’t keep him from holding his breath, though, but it’s very good improvement. He can feel Hongbin’s fingers on his scalp and the way his messy fringe lifts up then falls back down on his forehead with a certain stiffness. Every fiber in his body can feel every sensation. It’s been so long since he has been touched with such delicateness.

Hongbin steps back, looking at his work and laughs. (Hyuk has to snap himself out of his half-trance) “Wow. Do you want to give me an autograph?”

Laughter suddenly bubbles from Sanghyuk’s throat and even though it’s small, Sanghyuk is taken aback by how easily that escaped. It feels foreign, heavy on his tongue, and he doesn’t think he could do it if he tried again but – it’s – it’s – he laughed. Hongbin grins, looking away in time for Sanghyuk not to notice the pride on his face.

Hongbin somehow manages to keep the happiness on his face toned down and starts to gather all his papers and his tablet, shoving them in a messenger bag and slinging it over his right shoulder, camera gear bulky in his left hand. Hongbin grabs the keys off the hook beside the kitchen and walks towards the door with Sanghyuk trailing after him. 

Hongbin looks back at Sanghyuk while putting on his shoes. “Are you not bringing anything out?”

He tries to phrase it as a casual question – he doesn’t want to pressure Hyuk to do anything, but the boy, of course, once again, treats it as a test.

Sanghyuk looks up carefully, “Am I allowed?”

“You’re allowed to do anything you want, Hyuk-ah.” Hongbin reminds the boy again for the third time since… one hour ago. “Also, heads up, you’re probably going to be bored out of your mind. We’re gonna be spending the whole day there.”

Sanghyuk rubs the back of his neck, feeling his cheeks burn up with almost nothing at all. He quickly dodges back into the apartment to grab his PSP, frantically shoving his phone in his pocket, trying not to waste any more of Hongbin’s time.

Sanghyuk slips on his sneakers and attempts to tie his shoelaces, eyebrows starting to knit together as he tries to recall what he learned in kindergarten. Hongbin watches on from the doorway, pretending to fumble with the lock even though he has lived here for the past 5 years, trying to give Sanghyuk as much time and privacy as possible.

Bunny ears, Bunny ears, playing by a tree. Criss-crossed the tree, trying to catch me. Bunny ears, Bunny ears, what was it? – Oh right – jumped into the hole, popped out the other side, beautiful and bold.

Sanghyuk pulls tight on both ends of the loop, smiling triumphantly to himself before quickly moving onto the next shoe, sneaking a glance at Hongbin to make sure he didn’t witness that small celebration.

***

The car ride was fine (other than the fact that Sanghyuk still refuses to look up especially during red lights from the last time he was in the car, keeping his face as hidden as possible and fiddles with the seatbelt so much that a hole might just form there) but as soon as they walk into Hongbin’s office where people can see them, Hongbin can feel Sanghyuk shutting down next to him. He lightly touches Sanghyuk’s arm and the boy flinches harshly before taking his eyes off the ground to look at Hongbin, recognition sparking like a flame.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here. I’ll protect you.” 

Sanghyuk doesn’t realize how important those words truly are because he can’t think beyond the thick fog of fear that he might run into someone he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t think any of his Sirs ever worked in the fashion industry but it’s not a question he’d like to find out the answer to.

“I’m going to put my hand on your shoulder is that alright?” Sanghyuk gives an almost desperate nod and Hongbin slings his arm around Sanghyuk’s shoulders, squeezing tightly enough not to hurt but enough to bring Sanghyuk down from his anxiety. “Everything’s going to be alright. I’ve got you.”

Hongbin pushes the door of the office building open and keeps his firm grip on Sanghyuk’s left shoulder as the cold air hits them. They walk down the endless number of corridors and – thank god – not too many people because it’s a weekend. That being said, the office is never not filled with people, so along the way, Hongbin has to squeeze Sanghyuk past a few tight spots, trying to keep Sanghyuk away from any contact with anyone else. Part of Sanghyuk wants to look up and check that none of them are Heungdeok or Moonhyuk or – no stop thinking about it. stop stop stop stop stop – but another part of him doesn’t even want to know.

They finally reach the studio that Hongbin needs to be at (15 minutes late) and Hongbin sits Sanghyuk down on one of the chairs in the humongous studio teeming with models and personnel.

“Um… Just sit here, alright?  Just come straight up to me if you need anything. I mean it – Anything. I don’t think anyone’s going to bother you but if anyone asks you who you are or anything, just say you’re with me.” Hongbin squeezes Sanghyuk’s shoulders with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, no one’s going to hurt you here. I’ll be right over there.”

Sanghyuk forces out an unsteady smile and Hongbin slowly walks away, turning his head back to look at Sanghyuk several times until the staff hurries him in impatiently.

Sanghyuk doesn’t – can’t – relax so he doesn’t even turn on his PSP, keeping his eyes on Hongbin and looking at his lap whenever someone gets too close. He’s sitting in the very corner of the studio so he’s grateful that no one is hovering around him or trying to get their make-up done. The nagging feeling of leaving Sanghyuk alone bothers Hongbin for a long time into the shoot before he realizes that the longer he’s distracted, the longer he’ll have to work on the projects so he forces himself to focus, .

For the first hour, Sanghyuk sits there, ram rod straight, his fingers winding around the strap of his PSP, just watching Hongbin work. He’s hidden behind the camera, in the darkness, while the light shines on someone else and it’s just his opinion but Sanghyuk thinks that Hongbin should be the one posing.

Sanghyuk feels the tension in his muscles start to dissipate after a while and he manages to play a whole level on his PSP without his character dying after a few tries of looking up too much and fingers freezing on the control buttons. It isn’t that bad – no one has tried talking to him yet. In fact, no one has really looked straight at him at all. The set isn’t that loud either, which is good, because loud noises make him frantic. Conversations, however, are different, because people are always too loud, too boisterous, too… busy without meaning to be. But everything is still under control.

Until a guy pulls up a chair with a screeching sound as the leg drags on the concrete floor and sits right behind him.