I slowly opened my eyes and rubbed it. I was moving but my feet weren’t on the ground. Someone was carrying me on their back.

“You’re awake, Raine?” Kris asked from beside me, he was carrying my backpack as well as his own.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Home,” he replied with a sad tone.

Then I remembered what had happened. It felt like another stab in the chest. The horror of having witnessed it all and having the memories clearly engraved in my head was heart-wrenching. It was just horrible. The blood and torture, the screaming and pleading, but nothing turned out the way we hoped. If only we can erase the memory we don’t want. If only there was a highlight and delete button for the memories we don’t want to remember.

“There’s a plane in an hour,” Xiumin told us.

Lay carefully set me down on the bench and sat down beside me. No one said anything. Just silence. Though I couldn’t read minds, I knew everyone was thinking about the same thing as me. Yesterday, everyone was happy and excited for this trip which was supposed to be Tao’s wish, but little did we know that something like this would come up and ruin everything we had hoped for. Ruined.

“Lay,” I asked, my throat was hoarse from all the shouting and screaming but it was still audible, “What is going to happen now?”

He turned around and looked at me with sad eyes, “I honestly have no idea.”

“It’s all my fault isn’t it?”

“No it’s not, it’s no one’s fault,”

“He was right, I bring bad luck to everyone I meet,” I sobbed.

“Don’t think like that,” Lay comforted me and put an arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer, “It’s fate, we’ve just got to accept it.”

“But I don’t want to!” I whined, “I thought everyone is going to have their wish fulfilled and then they move onto their next life. What is going to happen to Sehun, Luhan and Tao?”

“Let’s hope that they go to wherever they need to go, hopefully, they too have moved onto their next life like the others.”

“Let’s go guys,” Chanyeol said and grabbed the bags near my foot.

The journey home was silent. Everyone just found a spot and sat down and stared into space. And when we got back to the café, everyone just dumped their bags in the living room and walked upstairs. No one said anything.

“I don’t know what to do,” I said sadly to no one in particular and plopped onto the sofa and a tear fell from my eye, “I don’t like this life.”

“Are you hungry?” Xiumin asked.

I shook my head. He asked everyone else but no one had any appetite. The house felt so dull. It felt like all the colours were drained out, leaving everything black and white, wiped away of all colours and emotions. They were the younger ones apart from Luhan but he acted like a child sometimes. They were the loud, sassy one. The ones who brightened the house with their jokes and laughter but now they are not here.

“Why don’t you go to sleep?” Kai suggested to me.

“I can’t, why don’t you?” I asked back, “You must be tired too.”

“Not really,” he replied and sat down next to me, running a hand through his hair, “I slept through majority of that, only got woken up by Chanyeol to see Sehu –.”

“I’m sorry,” I apologised, “I’m sorry that you had to see that happen.”

“It must be worse for you, suddenly being pulled into a life like this and watch everything disappear from you as you get to know them.”

“I really thought that this space between life and death would be nice.”

“I want to move on like the others,” he said, “Every time someone goes; I really hope that the next person would be me.”

“Why?” I asked.

“I don’t want to be the last one; I don’t want to be left behind. There’s no particular order but I just don’t want to be last,” his voice cracked at the end and quickly sniffled away the tears.

“I wish I knew what order this went in,” I said, “I wish I knew how this can be done quickly.”

“We know you don’t want to be part of this but we know that you’re trying your best.”

“I am trying and I will find a way to work this out and make everything easier,” I promised.

Then the sound of something heavy fell onto the ground from upstairs. Kai got up and went to see what was happening. It wasn’t long before I heard him shout my name.

“What happened?” I asked as I ran upstairs.