Title [3/5]

Stare. The name is so simple yet it totally fits the story. It's what it is about. A stare of a YG and what it could do. I think that it's very unoriginal however because there are just so many stories called Stare.

Description/Foreword [10/10]

I love how you started the description with a paragraph describing eyes and why they are so sinful. It tells the readers what the character feels about eyes. Also, the way you ended the description, 'And I, Sandara Park, is one of them.' is so mysterious and made me really want to go on and see what happens.
In the foreword, it's in the future when she gets locked up in the cell, am I correct? Because of the fact that she is locked up across from the mysterious him is sort of like a cliff-hanger and it's really eye catching.

Characterization [15/20]

It seems like all your characters are born as a YG except for the sister. Also, it seems like all of them are sick and despise humanity. Maybe you should make the characteristics more diverse. I like how you made fat paragraphs of their thoughts. It really helped see their personalities. It was great that you kept the personalities consistent. I like characters like yours - bitter to the world.

Plot/Originality [19/20]

In the two chapters I've read, I sort of got a glimpse of the plot. It is very interesting and unique, having a girl who has powers in the eyes and a mysterious male who seems to be stalking her. I've got to admit, I've never read anything like this, so congrats to your amazing brain!

Mechanics (Grammar, Spelling & Punctuation) [2/5]

I found no spelling mistakes, but 3 grammar ones. They are really minor, but I'm going to point them out anyways ><
The first one was in the first chapter, first paragraph:
'The roof top garden of this building is my favorite spot because only a few knows about it.' The word 'knows' shouldn't have a 's' behind it.
The second one was in the second chapter: 
'During one of the days I hang out in the palace’s library, I learned a lot about the nature of a YG.' The word 'hang' should be in past tense since it was during one of those days, which was before.
Lastly is at the end of chapter 2- it's not really a grammar mistake- just something confusing:
'Minji get me out of here juseyo!'Some people might not know what the word juseyo means, so maybe put a definition at the bottom?

Reader's Response [5/5]

Most comments you've had are ones of people that are really interested in the plot and can't wait for the next update. They really love the story and I don't blame them. There were some comments with questions and I saw that you answered them so full marks on this!

Overall Enjoyment [9/10]

I really liked this story a lot and I really want to know why they got to prison and how the mysterious male and Dara will meet. 

Total : 63/75