Title [5/5]

Ok, this title is perfect for the story...that's all I can say. It matches it and is unique and has never been used before. It's also pretty catchy and would stick to a reader's mind. Props for you on that!

Description/Foreword [7/10]

The description paragraph had some big words that some people that's English isn't their first language may have not understood, so maybe put a little definition or like, use a smaller word. Also, the words 'Hope was gained and hope was lost' should be put in italics because it seems like a phrase that would be. I love how you had the pictures of the character's with a quote under it. That was really neat. In the foreword, you told the readers where your inspiration came from and I thought that was honest and nice. 

Characterization [16/20]

I've seen many characters like Hyoyeon, shy and unsocial, so there really isn't anything special about her. Her personalities are just so common. Luhan is mysterious and cheerful, which you don't get a lot so I thought that was a good character. Lay was quiet when he was a human but why is he so talkative as a ghost? You kept your characters somewhat consistent which was a good point. 

Plot/Originality [20/20]

Honestly, this is a very very very interesting and unique plot. I've never seen one like it, falling in love with someone only to hear that they died. Then, you know, communicating with them. The 'Forbidden Confession' part was really shocking as well. I mean, who could've guessed? Anyways, there's not much to say about it since it's great and all. It really isn't one you get often.

Mechanics (Grammar, Spelling & Punctuation) [3/5]

The spelling was pretty good but there were some grammar mistakes such as:'A gentle angel's smile lit his expression..' I think that after the words 'smile lit' there should be the word 'up' so the sentence would sound like 'A gentle angel's smile lit up his expression..' Also in the letter that Hyoyeon got from Lay, there was this line that went, 'I fall in love with you.' The correct way of stating that was 'I fell in love with you.'

Reader's Response [4/5]

I think that a lot of people loved your cute story and ship HyoLay (BTW I do as well!) It would be nice of you replied to some of them though. Anyways, they enjoyed it and that's wonderful!

Overall Enjoyment [9/10]

I thought it was nice to read, but it wasn't as exciting as I thought it'd be. The ending where there was a little kid named Lay? That was a but confusing. Anyways, good job! 

Total : 64/75 

Comments : Maybe you should add the tag 'fantasy' to your story since it deals with a ghost, and that's kind of fantasy? Just another quick thing though, I think the background, the sparkles on the hearts are kind of distracting and it's sort of gloomy, not matching the theme of the story much. The poster is beautiful however!