▷BlackPearl23
❝사랑 & 정직❞ ʀᴇᴠɪᴇᴡ sʜᴏᴘ | Open |Frenemies In Love
Title: 2/5
Honestly, I think this title is pretty common and sort of tells the story and how it ends, like for example, they start as frenemies and they fall in love in the end. But, I think the title suits the story because, well that's that happens.
Foreword/Description: 9/10
I really love what you did with the quotes. Like, Kai and Yuri have their own section with quotes from them and so does Tiffany and Sehun and Luhan and Yoona. It's good how you put pictures and described the characters in the foreword. The description tells the background of the character which is wonderful. The last sentence doesn't make sense though.
'Making friends,getting in trouble,having fights,breakups,kidnapping...etc.'
Characterization: 18/20
You said Kai was a trouble maker, but not a play boy, so maybe you should put that in your description of him? I think Kai and Luhan's personalities are consistent throughout the 20 chapters that were written and that is a good thing. In the description of Sehun, you put that he was friendly toward everyone. But from what I read, he really isn't that open and cheerful... same goes for Tiffany, she is supposed to be 'bright and cheerful', but she's willing to give up her friends for Sehun and I don't really think that is part of the bright and cheerful.
Plot: 17/20
I'm guessing the main plot is for all of those characters to find a happy ending with the one they love. Each of the characters have their own problems. It happens for a little bit, but the problem is soon resolved, like Tiffany and Yuri's friendship. Luhan's problem is that he's getting chased by a gang but that isn't really mentioned that much in the story.
Mechanics: 3/5
The spelling was flawless and absolutely amazing. The grammar however isn't as much.
'She thought her life was perfect until a devil entered her life who is called Kim Jong In,or how people call him Kai.'
The correct way to put that is:
'She thought her life was perfect until a devil entered her life named Kim Jong In, or people call him Kai.'
Also, after a comma, there should be a space before another word occurs.
'Kwon Yuri and Im Yoona are bestfriends since childhood,they moved to America for 3 years and moved back to Korea because their parents missed them and convinced them to return after graduation.'
The correct for should be:
'Kwon Yuri and Im Yoona are best friends since childhood, they moved to America for 3 years and moved back to Korea because their parents missed them and convinced them to return after graduation.'
Reader's responses: 5/5
Readers root for KaiYul and there are many comments
asking you to update soon so they must really enjoy the story!
The comments are all positive as well.
Enjoyment: 10/10
Honestly, I don't really like idol pairings,
but this story is very good
and cute. I ended up really enjoying it, so please update soon!
I wanna know what happens in the end ehe.
The way the male is so nice to the girls is so sweet and I just---
the feels!<33
Total: 64/75
Comments: Don't forget to leave a comment
and don't take this criticism too seriously.
Title: 2/5
Honestly, I think this title is pretty common and sort of tells the story and how it ends, like for example, they start as frenemies and they fall in love in the end. But, I think the title suits the story because, well that's that happens.
Foreword/Description: 9/10
I really love what you did with the quotes. Like, Kai and Yuri have their own section with quotes from them and so does Tiffany and Sehun and Luhan and Yoona. It's good how you put pictures and described the characters in the foreword. The description tells the background of the character which is wonderful. The last sentence doesn't make sense though.
'Making friends,getting in trouble,having fights,breakups,kidnapping...etc.'
Characterization: 18/20
You said Kai was a trouble maker, but not a play boy, so maybe you should put that in your description of him? I think Kai and Luhan's personalities are consistent throughout the 20 chapters that were written and that is a good thing. In the description of Sehun, you put that he was friendly toward everyone. But from what I read, he really isn't that open and cheerful... same goes for Tiffany, she is supposed to be 'bright and cheerful', but she's willing to give up her friends for Sehun and I don't really think that is part of the bright and cheerful.
Plot: 17/20
I'm guessing the main plot is for all of those characters to find a happy ending with the one they love. Each of the characters have their own problems. It happens for a little bit, but the problem is soon resolved, like Tiffany and Yuri's friendship. Luhan's problem is that he's getting chased by a gang but that isn't really mentioned that much in the story.
Mechanics: 3/5
The spelling was flawless and absolutely amazing. The grammar however isn't as much.
'She thought her life was perfect until a devil entered her life who is called Kim Jong In,or how people call him Kai.'
The correct way to put that is:
'She thought her life was perfect until a devil entered her life named Kim Jong In, or people call him Kai.'
Also, after a comma, there should be a space before another word occurs.
'Kwon Yuri and Im Yoona are bestfriends since childhood,they moved to America for 3 years and moved back to Korea because their parents missed them and convinced them to return after graduation.'
The correct for should be:
'Kwon Yuri and Im Yoona are best friends since childhood, they moved to America for 3 years and moved back to Korea because their parents missed them and convinced them to return after graduation.'
Reader's responses: 5/5
Readers root for KaiYul and there are many comments
asking you to update soon so they must really enjoy the story!
The comments are all positive as well.
Enjoyment: 10/10
Honestly, I don't really like idol pairings,
but this story is very good
and cute. I ended up really enjoying it, so please update soon!
I wanna know what happens in the end ehe.
The way the male is so nice to the girls is so sweet and I just---
the feels!<33
Total: 64/75
Comments: Don't forget to leave a comment
and don't take this criticism too seriously.
reminders
01. Comment upon receiving your review.
02. Credit the shop in your story forward.
03. Upvote atleast one of the stories of the reviewer.
04. Upvote the shop if you think it's worth it.
02. Credit the shop in your story forward.
03. Upvote atleast one of the stories of the reviewer.
04. Upvote the shop if you think it's worth it.
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story link
reviewer; doubleabs
layout designed by flamzfox at Cerulean Themes
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