He pressed his sweaty palm against the cold marble walls as he rested his head against its sturdy surface. He shut his eyes tightly as he found himself feeling as though he was floating, as though he was spinning – his head was in a mess, his own thoughts a constellation too complex for him to fathom with his current emotions. What was this feeling – he felt hatred for the manner in which he was neglected and pushed into the corners of desperation when he was young; even though he did often see his mother being treated unjustly, and at times even felt like they were on the same side when she fended for him in front of the bastard’s menacing presence, she never quite showed him affection besides those fleeting moments.

She was just like a lady who was strong, and served her purpose occasionally when she felt like it. She never quite fit the bill for a mother, neither did she as a kin – she was never a pillar of support besides the times when he was about to be treated with physical punishments. Yet at this day after he left her to fend for herself with the man, she was willing to fly back to visit him and eventually fight for him? Was this another of her ways of making up for her own guilt, trying to make herself feel better along the way, and give up when she was forced to kneel before the bastard? He was more than confused – he felt pain, agony once again; he left the household willingly for a reason. He didn’t wish to be part of such a feud; it was so commonplace in a rich household and he knew he would want to stay away from it once he stepped out of the house years back – he didn’t want to take sides, neither did he find any of the two parties worthy. He pushed himself back up and pressed his right hand hard on the sink as the water came rushing out. Frustrated, he splashed the ice cold water against his face, its coldness making him go numb for awhile, perfect. He needed to be numb, perhaps if he just hurt his back again, perhaps if he could’ve gotten anesthesia anytime, he wouldn’t be reminded about this – he wouldn’t have to go through this kind of bull again. He sighed as he stopped and stared back at himself in the mirror, his hair wet by then. Yet the sight of the damp dreamcatcher on his right wrist calmed him down a little – he was reminded of Sehun, and he noticed that he probably left him confused and worried. He’d done it again hadn’t he? Making the people who loved him worried and upset, and possibly hurt – such a vicious cycle. He stared into his own eyes in the reflection on the now wet mirror as he smirked, useless jerk. Maybe he was no better than his father. He pushed himself back up and made his way towards the door as the door swung open, almost hitting him in the face.

“Jongin!” Sehun rushed in, panting heavily. His hair was messy as he looked as though he had spent some time running about in the building. At the sight of Jongin, he wrapped his arms around him and pat his back gently, “Hey take it easy.” Sehun closed his eyes as Jongin returned the hug, leaving them both to stay in the comfort of each other’s arms for a few moments, the door closing slowly behind them.

“Hey. Are you okay?” Sehun asked as he pulled away and looked at Jongin properly. He sighed and ruffled his wet hair playfully before apologizing, “I’m sorry. This meeting wasn’t that much of a good idea was it?”

“No. It was good. Its just that I couldn’t quite control myself back there…I should apologize.” Jongin spoke softly, his voice displaying how frangible he had been in that moment. He sighed and pulled Sehun over, resting his head on his shoulder, “I’m just really confused and I don’t know how to face her because its been some time and I’ve always had this love-hate thing with her. When I want to be nice I think of the bad stuff but then after some time, her good attributes haunt me consistently and I don’t quite know whether what I’m doing is right or wrong.”

“Take your time and figure it out; weigh it all out and even if you’re up for it, talk it out with her. Find out what went wrong.” Sehun tried his best to help Jongin calm down, his hands around him once again, “You’re a strong man. You can do this.”

“Let’s go.” Jongin whimpered as he nodded gently and pulled Sehun along.

--

Jongin pushed the sliding door open carefully as he peered in to see his mother sitting there, apprehensive. She was shocked by his actions, but not entirely surprised.

“I’m sorry for what happened earlier.” He muttered as he sat down again, leaving Sehun to smile awkwardly and nod in agreement as he took his seat beside him, “Shall we order something? Everyone should be pretty hungry by now.” Jongin was speaking as he looked at the menu, trying his best to keep his