At first I assumed I would be debuting in a group as that was the trend these days. But after 6 months of training I’m told I’ll be going solo. My singing ability has increased a fair bit and so has my dancing ability. I worked myself to the bone to be able to sing while dancing without making it obvious how worn out I was. 

I fell sick a few times but as soon as I had recovered I got straight back to training. My fitness and stamina improved and pretty soon I was in tip-top shape. I was always a healthy weight but now I was toned. I looked good, if I say so myself. 

After 2 years I am told I will be debuting in 4 months, so they want to film teaser videos as well as other promotional material. The first thing they tell me to do is pick a song to sing. They want to put the video on the official YouTube channel to get peoples reactions and responses. I go through all the songs I can possibly think of, trying to find one that will showcase my abilities. I’m told that I’ll have to do a dance video later so I decide on a slow song. While looking for a song I realise that Sung Joon may see this video. It had been years since that day in London and I hadn’t heard a single peep from him. I caught up with the others once since Soo Hyuk came to see me 2 years ago. Since then I was too busy training and they had all probably moved on with their lives. 

I decided to choose a song that would also send a message to Sung Joon. To show him I was doing fine, even though he broke my heart. After all the promises he made me and after breaking every single one of them. That’s when I remembered I knew the perfect song. None other than “No More” by my label mate John Park. The lyrics were perfect for the situation, so I ran it by my manager and the reps and they thought it was a good choice to show my vocal ability. 

So it was decided and the filming day set. I practiced and practiced. I even had a couple of sessions with John Park himself. Then the day came. They were going to upload it as soon as we finished filming so I was determined to get it done in one take. 

The reps press record on the camera and signal for me to start. I bow. 

“Hello, everyone. My name is Jae and I will be singing No More by my Sunbae John Park.”

You said you loved me, that you’ll always stay the same
Words are easy but your heart goes up and down
Although that’s natural

You say you’re sorry, that you’re in pain
Don’t comfort me, you don’t know
You don’t know

Was it that hard to say you don’t like me anymore?
Did you hold it in?
If you were trying to save my pride
You actually stripped it all away

You don’t have to say that you want to be with me
You can stop saying words you don’t mean
That lie when you said that you only stole my lips
Put that away, you can stop now

Was it that hard to break up with me?
Did you feel bad for me?
If you were trying to save my pride
You actually stripped it all away
I don’t need your pity

You don’t have to say that you want to be with me
You can stop saying words you don’t mean 

That lie when you said that you only stole my lips
Put that away, you can stop now

I believed your lie when you said a first love lasts forever
Now please erase it
Even if you say you’re sorry and cry and beg
It can’t he helped, there’s no use
We can stop now

You don’t have to say that you want to be with me
You can stop saying words you don’t mean
That lie when you said that you only stole my lips
Put that away, you can stop now

As I sing the last line and hold that last note I feel a tear escape the corner of my eye. 

“Thank you for watching and I look forward to meeting you all in the near future.” I say before bowing. 

The reps call cut and they upload it straight away. I wipe the tear off my face and stand up. I take a deep breath before thanking everyone for their hard work. Then I go to my training room and work on my dance for the dance video.

A/N: This song though... Go check it out if you don't already know it. I purposely made Jae a part of John Park's company just so that I could use this song muahaha

I thought it would be weird if she was training at SM but sang a John Park song.. ? 

Comments please! 

xo