After the intense conversation she had with Yonghwa last night, she locked herself in her room all day. She lied down on the bed; curled herself, hugging her favourite pillow. Her eyes were puffy as she was crying all night. The guilt she felt in her heart was too heavy. She couldn’t sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw him. She couldn’t forget his red-watery eyes.

“I guess all of this is just a crap for you. To you, I’m just a virtual husband and that is all. Our relationship is nothing but a business to you.”

“Obviously I’m the idiot here; the one who is begging for your heart and got nothing in return. Shame on me!”

Every word he said last night was ringing in her ears and jabbed her heart like a sharp needle.  The tone of his voice that used to sound so calming was shaking and full of frustration. Yonghwa she knew is a light-hearted man with full of charms, but last night was the first time she ever saw him crying. His heart was crushed, by her.

She sniffed as she closed her eyes tightly. The tears unknowingly fell from her eyes. What have I done? Why does it feel so hurtful?

At the moment, there was a knock on the door. It was Hyoyeon. It was god-knows-how-many-times she knocked the door. “Hyunnie-ya, open the door. Please let me in. I know you’re having hard time, but let’s talk. I’m worried about you.” 

When she entered the dorm last night, Hyoyeon was in the living room watching TV. She noticed Seohyun’s swollen eyes when she hastily walked to her room. She tried to stop her, but she kept saying that she was fine. Her sisterly instinct would usually right. She knew something was wrong with the maknae.

She swallowed as felt dry. “Unnie, I need to be alone.”

“Hyunnie-ya, please...eat something at least. When will you stop be so stubborn? Sooner or later, you have to face it. Locking yourself like this won’t solve the problem.” said Hyoyeon behind the close door.

Seohyun wiped her tears. “I’ll be out when I’m ready.”

Hyoyeon sighed, giving up her effort to pursue the maknae. She knew how tenacious Seohyun could be and forcing her to talk won’t solve the problem too.  “Alright then, I’ll be out here whenever you need me.” She shook her head and moved away from the door.

She lied on her back and stared at the white ceiling above her. She felt a bit composed. However, her mind and heart were playing puzzle. She was in conflict with herself. She never felt so guilty before. I couldn’t imagine how my life would be if I can’t see him again.  I really care for him. But I don’t want to risk our life for the feeling we have for each other.

As abundance of thoughts lingering in her mind, she was slowly drifted to sleep.

Six hours later.

She opened her eyes and looked around the room. It was all dark. The sky outside the window was pitch back. She must be very tired to be sleeping that long. The only source of light was from the crack of the door. She slowly sat up and stretched a bit. Her head felt a little heavy, maybe because she didn’t consume any food for the whole day. She then realized she’d been locking herself in the room for a complete 24 hours. She rolled off the bed and lazily dragged herself to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and sighed.

“You look like a mess. Look what love did to you.” She grabbed a towel and washed herself.

A few minutes later, she was done with shower. She put on a sweat pants and loose t-shirt. She brushed down her damp hair and checked herself in the mirror. Her eyes were still swollen, but