Ryeowook’s POV

I immediately walked to the door of Kyuhyun bedroom after I finished saying my decision but when I had managed to open the door a little, Kyuhyun’s hand slammed the door from the back until the door was completely closed again. I know this will not be easy but I still wish I could get out of here without having a lot of arguments with Kyuhyun.

“Wookie, I—”

“Kyuhyun, let me go home now.” I said cut off Kyuhyun’s word and tried to open the door again but the door is not budge at all.

Kyuhyun did not say anything about my words; he just put his other hand on the door until I trapped in between his hands with my back facing him. I can’t run away now.

“Wookie, I am certainly not going to pretend we don’t have something between us.” Kyuhyun said in a firm voice.

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead to the door, I felt really tired not just physically but also mentally. “Please Kyuhyun, stop.” I can only speak in a weak voice to Kyuhyun. The more I hear his words the more I felt I lost control of myself.

“From the beginning I would like us not only friends, I wish we had something special between us, and now when I feel my hopes will come true, you want me to pretend we don’t know each other?? I know you feel something about me too. So how can we pretend???”

“Don’t get too cocky and confident Kyuhyun. You don’t know what I feel and I think about you. If it is true that I feel something more to you, you think I’m going to suggest we pretend to not know each other??” I said to him, with a chaotic mind because I began to feel desperate and what I really want right now is just to go back to my house—alone and safe from fear that I feel now.

“Don’t say anything stupid, Wookie. If you don’t feel something toward me, you will not let me kiss you nor you would not kiss me back also if you are really don’t feel anything to me you’re not going to like this. If you don’t feel anything, why do you want us to pretend to not know each other? And now you don’t even dare to look at me and spoke directly to me.”

All Kyuhyun’s words right, he is too smart and he’s very good at analyzing people around him. But I can’t admit to Kyuhyun that he was right. “Forget it Kyuhyun, this really does not like what you think, maybe you too much thinking.” I said, and felt I’ve been on the edge of losing control of myself.

“Talk to me when you’re facing me, Kim Ryeowook.” Kyuhyun said, ignoring my words. And when I did not give any response Kyuhyun holding my shoulders and turned me to face him, but I did not dare look at his eyes so I immediately look the other way.

“Wookie, admit you feel something for me.” Kyuhyun whispered to me.

“Kyuhyun, please just stop! You don’t understand the situation!!”

“So explain to me and made me understand!” He said firmly. His stubborn behavior made me finally lose all control of myself.

“Because you would just like them!! At the end you will just leave me alone!!! I don’t want to suffer anymore because I have lost someone special in my life!! I’ve had enough of this pain!” I yelled at him and I felt the tears began to sting my eyes but I tried to hold back my tears.

“I will not leave you.” He spoke calmly and cupped my face between his palms.

“No, you’ll like them! Everyone around me that I loved and close to me has always leaved me in the end! They disappear one by one from my side! Appa, Eomma, Halmeoni, Hee Young, even Yesung Hyung left me in the end!!! I like getting the curse so all people around me would leave me alone! I don’t want to feel it again! So please just leave me alone!!” I screamed and I slapped Kyuhyun’s hands away from my face. “I really don’t want to feel it again, so please Kyuhyun; pretend we don’t know each other. It would be better for me not to have anyone than I had someone and then should lose that person…” I said with all my strength remaining in me.

I slide down against the door and tears I was trying to hold eventually flowed to my cheeks. I buried my face in my knees and cry out all the fear and pain that I feel right now. I felt the fear and pain that is worse than ever before. All the ‘dark’ incidents repeated again and again in my mind and now Kyuhyun’s image will leave me like Appa, Eomma, Halmeoni, Hee Young Noona and Yesung Hyung only add great pain to what I feel and really tormented me.

Then I feel Kyuhyun pulled me into his arms. I struggle to be free from his arms even though this is actually what I really need now because if I let him hug me, I knew he could change my decision easily. I’m already at the limit only to give in to his stubbornness and if he said another word I was afraid I would totally give up because his simple words will not leave me—like a mantra that I could not deny. That’s why I tried to free myself again and again, but my efforts were in vain, he simply tightened his arms and made me unable to do anything. Gladly he did not say anything else to me and just let me cry on his chest while he just my hair gently.

I feel like myself crying forever, and after a long time I finally stopped crying but a very bad dizziness suddenly attacked me. I grabbed Kyuhyun clothes for a while but soon release my grip when I realized what I was doing and pushed him gently and gladly Kyuhyun let me free myself from his arms. I stood up slowly and Kyuhyun also stood up but because of dizziness and weakness which I felt made me almost fell to the floor, fortunately Kyuhyun caught me before it happened.

“Wookie, it looks like you are sick. Your body is really hot.” Kyuhyun said while he touched my forehead. And he was right beside I felt dizzy, I began to feel shiver as well.

“I want to go home.” I whispered, I did not have the strength to speak out loud and my throat ached too, and I have to go now before he says something that could change my mind. The longer I’m with him, the more I heard his words, the more I feel the warmth of his, the harder I keep sticking to my decision that I’ve made.

“Don’t be stupid. I will not let you go home. You will stay here.” He said firmly and then he lifted and carried me bridal style. I really wanted to fight so that I can go from here but I can’t resist, too weak and too tired to do it.

Why it is really difficult to make distance from Kyuhyun? How can I stay away from him? Is it better I gave up and changed my decision?

Am I brave enough to try it? Am I ready to try?

“Wookie, please just try to believe me. I will not leave you alone like the others, I really will never leave you, Kim Ryeowook. I will always be beside you and we can know each other better and getting closer slowly. I will try my best and do whatever you want but please, don’t ask me to pretend we don’t know each other or make distance from me. How?” Kyuhyun said to me, like he could read my mind or maybe he really really can do it.

Kyuhyun’s words and also his voice showed he was really desperate.

And somehow make my decision shaky and my defense started crumbled to pieces...

I wrapped my hands around his neck and leaned my head on crock his neck and gave him a weak nod as a sign I agree.

“You will not regret this, Wookie.” Kyuhyun whispered in my ear and sends shivers in my spine.

Then Kyuhyun laid me on the bed and covered me with a blanket and I was immediately surrounded by Kyuhyun’s scent. “Just rest, I’ll get medicine for you.” Kyuhyun said while my hair and Kyuhyun kissed my forehead before he walked out of his bedroom.

I closed my eyes and I quickly fell asleep.

When I awakened, my mind a little dizzy and I need some time to be aware of the environment around me. Now Kyuhyun’s bedroom almost totally dark beside weak light came from lamps on the nightstands, and the only sound that could be heard was the low buzz coming from my right side. I slowly got up and saw the source of the sound turned out the TV that still turn on while Kyuhyun asleep on the couch.

I walked slowly towards Kyuhyun, and squatted in front of the couch. I watched Kyuhyun sleeping figure, he looked like a child when sleeping, and no one would think he is arrogant and annoying person who also had a sharp tongue when see his face now.

“You really stubborn you know, how can I win against you? Only you can make me give up.” I whispered to Kyuhyun and then I turned off the TV and go back to the bed. I sat on the edge of the bed, still feeling a little dizzy and shivering, when suddenly my phone is placed on the nightstand rang indicate that someone calls, I quickly took my phone and answer it without seeing who is calling because I don’t want to interrupt Kyuhyun who was sleeping.

“Hello...”

“Wookie!! Finally!!!”

“Hyung? Is there something wrong?” I asked Yesung Hyung who called me, his voice really sounded panicked.

“I can’t reach you all day. I sent the message but not delivered and when finally my message is delivered, you don’t read it and don’t reply at all. And when I tried to call the phone no one answered. I tried to call your home phone, but you did not answer, too. You made me worry and panic, you know.” Yesung Hyung scolded me.

“I’m sorry, Hyung. I don’t see your message, and I don’t hear your call because I silent my phone. And about my home phone, I..I’m not at home right now, Hyung.” I tried to explain and honestly I hesitate to tell about my location right now but I can’t lie to Yesung Hyung too.

“What??! Where are you now?? It was late..!”

“I..I at..” And suddenly my phone disappeared from my hand.

“He’s at my place, Hyung. Don’t worry.” Kyuhyun said to Yesung Hyung. And I could only stare at Kyuhyun who suddenly appeared and snatch my phone from me, too surprised because I did not know he was awake. And now Kyuhyun walked away from me, still talking with Yesung Hyung in a low voice that made me could not hear their conversation.

What Kyuhyun said to Yesung Hyung? What the opinion of Yesung Hyung about me and Kyuhyun? Why do I feel nervous about what is going Yesung Hyung think about Kyuhyun? Will Yesung Hyung support me with him? Uuuh, why do I care about all of this?

I don’t know how long I spaced out but when I get back to the real world, I felt like I had a heart attack because I was very shocked by the presence of Kyuhyun right in front of me. He put his hand on the bed on each side of me so I was caught between his hand and he leaned toward me so that his face right in front of me.

“Kyuhyun!! You made me almost get a heart attack!” I scolded him.

“Do you feel better?” He asked me, completely ignoring my words.

“Yes, I feel better now, just a little dizzy and felt a little cold. What are you talking on the phone?” I asked curious.

“Just something that is not important...”

“He did not say anything? Seriously?” I asked him, not believing Yesung Hyung did not say anything.

“Yes.. He did not say anything important; just ask me about your health.” Kyuhyun said. “Why are you suddenly blushing?” Kyuhyun added, asked me while smirked.

And I felt my face more blushed after hearing the question and see his grin made my heartbeat increase. Earlier I was too curious about Yesung Hyung and not focusing of our closeness, but now I’m more calm so I am more aware of our closeness, like how his face really close to my face until I could feel his warm breath, how can I see his dark eyes clearly, how red his lips that now smirked, and how his hair is a little messy because he fell asleep. I don’t know how to answer his question and certainly not possible for me to admit to him what I feel and think right now. So I just avoid staring at him directly and just pout, not answer his question. And fortunately he did not force me to answer, and he crouched down so his face not too closes to mine as before. He then took my hand that I place on my lap and suddenly looked at me with a serious expression.

“Wookie?”

“Yes?” And I am hesitantly looking directly at him.

“Can we talk?”

“Um, yeah... What do you want to talk?”

“Can you tell me about your past?”

I knew sooner or later he will be asked about this after what happened today. He had seen me in the cemetery and I told him when we ‘spoke’ earlier. But still I’m a little surprised, and I could only look at Kyuhyun’s eyes, I’m not sure I’m brave enough to talk about what happened in my life but I also felt the urge to tell him about my past.

“Please.” Kyuhyun added when I did not say anything and he slightly tightened his grip.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before nodding as a sign that I’m going to tell him about my past.

“My Appa was a famous pianist and composer. My Appa and Eomma died in a car accident when I was 10 years old.”

..Flashback..

“Ryeong, you have to sleep now. Tomorrow we have to make the long journey to pick Hee Young up from school and went to our villa.” Eomma said to me.

“But I still want to practice piano with Appa.” I said while pouting.

“Come on Ryeong, you can practice again another time. Your Appa also need to rest.”

“Okay…”

“Good night Ryeong~ Have a sweet dreams..” My Appa and Eomma said to me and kissed my forehead.

The next day, in the morning I and Appa also Eomma pack our bags into the trunk of the car. Today is a special day because after a long time I could finally meet with my Noona who should stay at the school dormitory during the time of her study also today finally we can have a family vacation that we rarely have because Appa is always busy with his work.

When finished packing into the trunk of the car, we began our journey to pick up Hee Young. We had a great time in the car, we sang, we talked, and we are even planning our next vacation. When we are close to Hee Young’s school, suddenly a truck from the opposite direction that brought the steel bar out of control and even though Appa tried to avoid the truck but in the end the truck was still crashed to our car and the worst thing is some steel bars slip out and pierced the windows of our car. And before I lost my consciousness what I just could see was blood around me.

..End Flashback..

“When our car was hit by the truck I fell to the floor because I was lying in the back seat at the time. I had a few bruises, minor injuries, one cut caused by steel bar that need stitches and a concussion because my head banged hard to the passenger seat in front of me when I fell. While...while Appa and Eomma...they both left me forever because of the accident. Before the accident, I think I have the most perfect life ever. My Appa and Eomma love each other and they were great parents although Appa sometimes really busy. I think I will have a happy life with them. But it was just my imagination; it was all too good to be true.”

“After the accident I live with my Halmeoni in the countryside, and Hee Young Noona also lives with us. She moved to another school that does not have a rule to stay in school dormitory near our Halmeoni’s house. Every night I can only cry in Hee Young’s arms, she’s really strong and she could continue her life while I was just stuck in the past. I’m afraid also really hate if I have to go with a car. At first I was not really close to Halmeoni, but after years of living with her I was getting closer slowly with her. She has strict rules and really firm but if you know her more closely you can see how mindfulness and lovely she is. And like before when I thought my life could be better, Halmeoni suddenly had a heart attack and left me forever. The saddest thing is that after she died, I just found out that she had been sick for a long time, she was suffering from cancer and heart problem but she never told me or Hee Young. She did not want to burden the two of us and makes us worry. After that because we don’t have close relatives and Hee Young Noona already at that age can be a guardian, we moved back to our house.”

..Flashback..

It’s been a really long time I did not see my parents house. Nothing changed only the garden should be cleaned, the grass should be cut, and some dead plants need to be removed when the house is full of dust and really needs to be cleaned.

And the first time I stepped into our house, I felt a pain in my heart and my eyes began to fill with tears. Noona hugged me from behind, we knew what we feel now is the same. The same pain, the same longing and the same sadness.

After all that happened I started to keep a distance from the people around me. Contrary to me, Hee Young remained friendly and had many friends. And when I was getting used to life alone with Hee Young Noona, she has a boyfriend. I’m glad my loved ones finally have happiness in her hard life.

“Ryeong! Help me! Tomorrow is my first date!! What should I wear???” Hee Young barged into my room.

“Just wear whatever you want; you’ll still look cute and pretty.” I told her, and continue play the piano.

“I don’t want to look like my usual. Ryeong, accompany me to buy new clothes, okay?”

“Is it really necessary to buy new clothes?” I asked her.

“Yes, please Ryeong. Accompany me.” Hee Young begging me.

“Okay, okay... Let’s go..” I told her.

Six month later…

“Ryeong, why don’t you try to find someone for yourself?” Hee Young asked me, she sat down beside me in front of my grand piano.

“Should I? I don’t think I want to.”

“You’re just afraid Ryeong. You have to learn to move from what has happened. I know you’re scared to have someone and lose that person, but you have to try. Ryeong, you should try Ryeong.. You will never know how it feels to be loved and love others if you never try it! It’s really great, you know~”

“It’s not easy for me, Hee Young. I did not know I could do it or not.”

“You know, I hope you’ll find someone for you, your true love like what I found and then have lived a happy life with that person.” Noona spoke softly, my hair.

“You think your boyfriend is your true love?” I leaned my head on her shoulder while playing random notes on the piano.

“Yes, I found the person I really love, my true love. I’m really glad I could find my true love. Please try to move on and find one for you. Okay, now it was late, you have to go to sleep. Love you Ryeong. “

“Yes, love you too. Good night..

Three days later...

I came back from school late today because I have to complete a music project with my teacher. I hurried to clean up and start preparing dinner. I cook all the food that Hee Young liked because lately she looks stressed and really in trouble, but when I asked her, she said she was fine and I don’t have to worry about her.

After I finished cooking, I call Hee Young Noona, but she did not answer, so I tried to get into her bedroom. But I could not find her in her bedroom. I tried to call Noona’s phone but then I heard the phone ringing near me and I found the phone just lying on her bed. In the end I tried to look for her in her bathroom.

And the first thing I see when I open the bathroom door is blood. I stood rooted to the spot and I can only look on her bathroom floor that there are many spots of blood. I started to panic and I quickly ran into the bathroom. And there she was, Hee Young Noona lying in the bathtub with pale face. Blood, which flows from her wrist that full of scars she is made by herself, making the water in the bathtub turned red. She wore a white dress that she had bought for her first date, but the dress was now turned into reddish dress. Hee Young Noona covered with her own blood. And I know I’m late to save her.

She left me forever like my Appa, Eomma, and Halmoni.

..End Flashback..

“The only family I have left me alone because her true love betrayed her. From the diary of Hee Young Noona I finally know why she committed suicide. Her boyfriend having a love affair with her best friend. Is not it ironic and sad? Her true love make she lost her life and leaves me alone. She wanted me to try to believe in true love but how can I? How can it be when she ended her life because of love?” I asked Kyuhyun, looking directly into his dark brown eyes as tears flowed down from my eyes.

Hi! Chapter 9 of Ryeowook's POV~

Thank you for read, support, waiting, and give me comment.. \(^♡^)/

In this chapter finally Wookie's past is revealed.. How? I hope you all can more understand him now? ^.^

And I hope you all can enjoy this chapter although the update is pretty gloomy when about Wookie's past ><.. Oh and actually I would like to update Can't Buy My Love too *because when I asked which story I should update "someone" asked both XD * But I just can finished edit this chapter so yeah this is the update I can post.. ^o^;

Please tell me what you think or your opinion.. Once again thank you~~