Chapter 18

My True Self

CHANYEOL'S POV

The applause from the audience echoed around the whole auditorium. I was shaking so hard, my guitar strings were trembling. As the applause began to fade, I took Baekhyun's hand and we both took a bow. I looked at him. He really didn't look okay. Hw needed rest after this performance, or even better, we just shouldn't perform. But it was too late to think that now. 

There was silence, as we sat down on chairs next to each other. The spotlight moved onto us, and the performance began. My shaky fingers struck chords, hopefully the right ones, and Baekhyun begun to sing. His voice was truly beautiful, it could soothe anybody even in their greatest distress. Once again, my fingers were working but my brain wasn't. It was too busy focused on Baekhyun. All I did was watch him enjoy the song, from first note to last.

Whenever he hit the high notes, my heart would just melt and stop for a moment to take in the beautiful sound against my ears. Looking into the audience, I could see all eyes on us. There wasn't any movement that I could sense.

As we moved into the last stage of the song, my playing slowed and Baekhyun's singing begun to soften. Siin we had come to a complete stop. Immediately, the entire audience stood up and gave us a standing ovation. Applause and cheers echoed around the theater, like it was a choir of hands singing in unison. I looked at Baekhyun, and smiled as I took his hand once again and lifted it up in the air. The applause continued to flow as we both took a bow.

As the  applause begun to fade, I looked at Baekhyun. His smile seemed to be fading and his face was becoming more and more pale. His grip on me loosened slowly. I didn't know what was happening to him, He reached out his other hands. "Chany-" was all he could say before he collapsed on the stage, making a loud thump that echoed around the whole auditorium. My heart stopped. Gasps echoed around the room. Mutters came from everywhere. Kneeling down beside him, I shook both his shoulders.

 

"Baekkie, Baekkie, Baekkie, please wake up!! Baekkie??!!" I wanted to cry. I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare. But it wasn't a dream. This was REAL. 

Out of the distance, I could hear a screaming voice. "My Baekhyun! My son! Make way, please!"

It was obviously Mrs. Byun. She came rushing on stage with Mrs. Jung. I backed away quickly, still not able to think straight. Mrs. Byun immediately kneeled to the ground. She put her hand on Baekhyun's forehead, and then the cheeks. 

"Oh no, he's turning cold. This is just like before-" Mrs. Byun began, but didn't have a chance to finish.

Mrs Jung turned to me. "Have you been noticing anything weird with Baekhyun lately?" She asked cutting off Mrs. Byun.

I nodded, on the verge of tears. "He's been really tired lately, and he's gotten a lot of stomach pain. Before we came on stage, he looked awful."

SHe sighed. "Aigoo, you guys didn't have to perform then!"

Tears filled my eyes. "Baekhyun's mother had to cancel her shift to come and watch. He didn't want to let his mother down, like he let his father down when his grandpa passed on. It wasn't even his fault!" I knelt down and begun to cry.

Mrs Jung laid a hand on my shoulder. "Don't cry, okay? We'll make sure Baekhyun will be fine."

I nodded and wiped my tears. Mrs. Byun buried her face into Baekhyun's neck. "He's not waking up! Please! Someone call the doctor!" She said as she cried. I immediately took my phone and dialled the ambulance. All I hoped for now was a miracle.

 

BAEKHYUN'S POV

I pushed hard, trying my best to sing. The world had become a real blur. I struggled to remember the lyrics, but I couldn't stop. My mother had given up work to come and see me perform. I couldn't let her down, not after letting my father down when he lost his father because I didn't raise enough money. I had to push. My stomach ached so bad. I just felt like my energy had been drained of me. As I sang my last words, I was so relieved to be finished. The crowd all stood up and began to cheer. I felt proud. Proud that I didn't let anybody down tonight. But I was most proud of Chanyeol. He practised so hard with me. I really love him.

He took my hand, and we lifted it in the air. I could tell he was happy too. But I had never felt so unwell. The loud applause only made it worse as it rang inside my head. The world seemed to be spinning, and I even saw stars. All I could see was the spotlight still shining on us and all I could feel was my head throbbing and my stomach about to give way. I had to stay upright. Just for a little longer. I had to. Losing my balance, I reached out a hand. "Chany-" was all I could say before I saw nothing but black.

 

CHANYEOL's POV

It had been 10 minutes. Baekhyun still lay there, unconscious but breathing. I had called the doctor and all we were waiting for was for the ambulance to arrive. Mrs. Byun knelt beside Baekhyun, holding his little hand and praying for him. Mrs. Jung had just given him an oxygen mask and was now circling him while chewing her nails nervously.

I knelt down on the other side of Baekhyun, and took his other hand. "I told you we shouldn't have performed" I muttered. "It wasn't your fault that your grandpa passed away. You didn't let anyone down, and if you didn't perform tonight, you still would have been the angel in my eyes." I cried, squeezing his hand in mine. "Why won't you wake up?" I said inbetween by sobs.

I looked up at Mrs Byun. "I'm sorry," I whimpered.

She shook her head. "It's not your fault. I think I might know what's behind this. It's-"

Mrs Jung came running into the room. "The ambulance is here!" She shrieked, running up to me. "Quick! Quick!"

I quickly got up and lifted Baekhyun into my arms and hooked one of his arms around my neck. The ambulance drivers came rushing in wheeling a portable bed.

"Over here!" I called. The drivers rushed over as I lowered Baekhyun onto the bed. One of them looked up. "People who would like to accompany, please follow us!"

Mrs Byun, Mrs Jung and I immediately followed the two men out of the auditorium.

*************************

The trip to the hospital was the most tense trip I had ever been on. There was nothing but the faint wails of the ambulance siren to listen to. I still grabbed onto his hand, which was turning colder and colder by the minute. Thankfully, I could still feel his pulse beating. Small, occasional breaths fogged the sides of the oxygen mask. I looked outside but I couldn't come to peace. I didn't know what to think anymore. My poor Baekhyun. Why did you become like this?

We were moving so fast that the world seemed to pass in a blur. As we slowed down, I stood up, and so did Mrs Byun and Mrs Jung. When the van came to a halt, I heard footsteps outside and the back doors of the ambulance opening. The drivers rushed in and lowered the ramp, wheeling Baekhyun towards the entrance. Mrs Byun, Mrs Jung and I followed closely behind.

The hospital seemed huge. There were hallways and doors everywhere. At last, we came to a halt at one of the emergency wards and were told to stop by a doctor. "No! Let us in! Please! Mrs Byun and I both shouted.

"We'll do some tests on Mr Byun and will tell you what caused him to collapsed when we are done," the doctor replied apologetically before taking a bow and disappearing into the room. Why isn't this a nightmare? Let me wake up!

Slumping against a waiting chair, I once again begun to break into tears.

 

***************************

My tears were slowly beginning to dry. Mrs Jung was walking back and forth, tapping her hands on her thighs repeatedly. There was silence. Deafening silence. I looked at the clock: 11:25 p.m. It was indeed getting late. What a night this was. One minute, we were enjoying our fist standing ovation and now, this. Why wasn't the doctor coming?! Mrs Jung broke the icy silence.

"I really hope he's okay!" She said.

I whimpered. "It's so strange, don't people normally wake up after fainting? Not go into comatose?"

Mrs Byun replied by shaking her head. "I think I might know why-"

She was cut off yet again. "Has he been eating?" Mrs Jung asked her.

"Yes, but-" 

"But he's been really tired!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, but-"

Then the doctor walked out. We all immediately stood up. "Is he awake now?" I asked, pushing aside Mrs Jung and Mrs Byun.

The doctor sighed. That could not have been a good sign.

"Follow me," she instructed.

The ward had six beds in it. Most people were asleep. Others had their attention focused on their bed TV's. At the far back on the left, was Baekhyun. Seeing his eyes open, I ran up to his bed and leaned over the side. I kissed him on the forehead, and he suppressed a smile. "I'm glad you're awake," I said. The doctor gathered us and pulled us wawy from the bed. "About Byun Baekhyun's condition..." she began.

"I'm afraid it's worse than you all think," she said. My heart stopped. WHAT?

" It's not ordinary fatigue. We have given him several blood tests, and X- rays, even CT's of his organs. Unfortunately, a CT scan has shown cancer cells crowing in his pancreas. His behaviours have also matched that of pancreatic cancer."

My face turned cold, and I lost my balance, needing to hold the bed posts to stay upright. 

The doctor continued. "It has been detected in its second stage, but has low survival rate. However, people have survived detection in the second stage. If it was the third stage, survival would be practically zero. "

That somewhat gave me some hope, but I was still confused. 

"But he's only been feeling tired for a week or so!" I cried.

The doctor nodded. "Pancreatic cancer is a silent killer. It goes unnoticed, but when it is discovered, it is often late."

Once again, I begun to cry. This time, Mrs jung had some tears too. She was such a nice teacher, to be here for us. I didn't know how to thank her. As I looked over at Mrs Byun, I realised she had dry eyes, but was still shaken. 

"Are you okay, Mrs Byun?" I asked.

She shook her head and sighed. "I've been trying to tell you, but got cut off repeatedly. I had been expecting this sice Baekhyun's birth. After losing my father in law, and almost my husband, I didn't know what to think anymore."

The doctor sighed too. "Once a few days have passed, Baekhyun will be allowed to leave hospital. After that, he'll be given medication, and once you are ready, you can decide if you would like Baekhyun to undergo chemotherap, to elongate life for a little." After she finished, she bowed 90 degrees before walking towards the door. Before she left, she turned around. "I'm sorry for the bad news," she said.

Mrs Byun turned to Mrs Jung. "Thank you for accompanying us the whole way. I don't know how to repay you. It's good to know what responsible teachers we have at school."

Mrs Jung smiled. "Don't worry. We all want what's best for Baekhyun, right?" She turned to me. 

"Right," I suppressed a smile, through my tears.

After kissing Baekhyun on the forehead, Mrs Byun left with Mrs Jung. "I'll come back later tonight. I just have to get my husband first. Please take care of my Baekhyun." She thanked.

I was alone one again. Walking over to the bed, I sat down on a chair next to it. Baekhyun was asleep now. I watched in despair as his chest rose and fell with every breath he took. Pancreatic cancer? 

FLASHBACK

I used to sing a lot, especially on the streets. I sang to raise money for my sick grandpa and dad. I got used to it, especially because my family has a history of cancer."

END OF FLASHBACK

A family history of cancer? Is that what Mrs Byun meant? How could I not notice?!

I looked at his pale face. I took his hand and squeezed it with mine. His eyelids flickered. "I'm sorry Chanyeol, I let you down". He whispered. Upon hearing that, tears blurred my vision, as I buried my face against the side of his bed. Heavens knows how long I cried for.

__________________________________

A/N: Hi everyone! This is the plottwist chapter! Sorry if we couldn't update! We had our half yearly exams on and goshhh I prolly failed all of them -_-. Anyways, hope you guys still like our story, and please tell us if you already picked up on the small hints we have been dropping in the past few chapters with Baekhyun and his family history of cancer. We wanna know :)) next chapter by Baekamazingness!!!! :D and holy moly the poster is awesome! Our thanks go to chocolat postershop :)

 

 

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
baekamazingness
(My True Self) IM SO SORRY WE HAVEN'T UPDATED IN LIKE 10 YRS WE'RE WORKING ON THE NEXT CHAPTER. SORRRYYYYYYY >_

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
Chanbaek641 #1
OMG!! This is so good
_kendeuk_ #2
Chapter 1: damn right off the bat im praying this isnt actually happening to pork chanyeol
KouhaiLioness
#3
Chapter 22: update author-nim please!!!
sarapinki #4
Chapter 22: Don't make baek die plz saaave him :'''(
Seoulqueenka #5
Chapter 22: I knew it. When you started talking about how he was tired, by the second time, I knew he was sick. JONGIN AND CO. (Husband waeyo??) WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH !!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!! This is making me frustrated. Please update soon author and your very brave to give your hairs for such a good cause!!!!!!!
ChaeLi-yah
#6
Chapter 21: Please update soon :3
Bigbangfan195
#7
Chapter 21: So is this what you're doing instead of sleeping? =3
Not like I'm one to judge anyway XP
cassiopeia4ever
#8
i hope you update more often now xD
LunaElle #9
Chapter 20: Wahh cliff hanger, I hope you update soon. I really want baekhyun to live, but I wanna see what you guys come up with. Good luck and good work!