Title [7/10]
Emotionless

Your title wasn't that common or eye-catching but you can clearly see how it was an angst story. I've seen some stories that has the word 'emotionless' in them especially if it was a Sehun fic. But it was okay for me. You can clearly feel that angsty emotion every time you read the title and that was a bonus since it was relevent to your story.

Foreword/Description [14/20]

I love the design for your description, though I found it a bit disturbing. The rose was too big and I know that you couldn't adjust that. But the description itself was perfect. I immediately thought of my hidden pain and pressure and clicked the next button.

The foreword wasn't that much of a problem. It was destined for author notes and any important reminders to the readers. 

But the more I looked at your foreword and description, the messier it looked. How about cleaning and tidying it up a bit?

Appearance [4/5]

Damn girl! That was some awesome poster! It was dark and angsty poster and I love it. 

In terms of your chapter appearance, it was great. Spacing and paragraphs were also good.

Spelling/Grammar [13/15]

"I looked myself up..." when it should be, "I looked at myself up..."

"healing painfully slowly..." when it should be, "healing painfully slow..."

Other than those mistakes, missy, you are one heck of a writer. You portrayed her feelings really well and how she wanted to attempt to cut herself but she can't because her inner self tried to stop her. I also loved your usage of words. They were poetically written but it was written in a way that everyone can read and feel. It was great reading it.

But you lacked strong emotions. Sure, you portrayed it but it lacked a bit of reality. Cutting yourself was overused. Try some other things. Attempting to jump off a building, beating herself up or something like that. It was a great idea for bullying but try some other things to portray that pain and hurt.

Plot [13/15]

To be really honest, your plot was really common. It was set about a girl who looked anorexic and emotionless so that would be a downfall for me. I have read a lot of these stories and every time I do, all I could do was sigh. It was overused and recycled over and over again that I have had enough.

But since this was a complete story, I couldn't do anything about it. However, I really loved the part wherein Hyuna tried to kill/cut herself more but when she saw her other self in the mirror, it was life changing.

Characterization [16/20]

Since you only had one character, it was easy for me to identify what kind of character she was.

Hyuna was the ignored yet bullied girl in school who looked anorexic and always had a blank expression planted on her face. This, I found, was very common and generic.

Why not make her the obese girl who was bullied because she tried to take on her diet but failed due to the torture her peers gave?

That would be really a great idea. Now, for Hyuna's characterization.

She was obsessed of changing herself that she couldn't take it anymore therefore, cutting herself in the end. That was a great presentation of being pressured and being mentally challenged. She was overdosed with everything that she cannot take it anymore. But in the end, she opened up her eyes to see a brighter side in the future. To change for the better.

I loved the way you used this kind of presentation that we may change. That we can pass the storm ahead of us. Good job!

Flow [9/10]

Given that this was a one-shot, I love the flow. You easily described as to why she turned out to be like that and I really love how you used the echoes in her mind to make her become mentally ill. You easily shifted the crazy and psychotic Hyuna to a more mature Hyuna who changed for the better. The ending was definitely an eye opener for me.

Overall Enjoyment/Reviewer's Note [4/5]

Though Hyuna was described as the anorexic and emotionless woman in the story, I calmly shifted your idea to another one. Like in my situation. I was ignored by everybody and I don't know why but reading your story, I was able to turn the tables and make my life seem happier and enjoyable. I love that.

Reading the comments below, it seems that your readers want to see Sehun. Hahah. Okay. I clearly enjoyed your story but it was just too common. As a note, just change the idea of cutting yourself when you write this type of genre in the future, okay?

Grand Total [80/100]

Reviewed by: Chunkee__ ❆ ❄ ❅

Well, I hope you're not too offended. Remember, upvoting is not a must, but very much appreciated, so if you were satisfied with the feedback, please do so no pressure :D
And remember, these are suggestions for your improvement.
I hope you go far and wide with your writing my donut. Good luck :)