It tasted bitter as I laid the medicine at my bedside. She slept on my bed sitting up with a polaroid on her lap. I peeked and read something about antipyretics, and a chicken soup recipe.

Chaerin: "Unnie.. wake up" I really don't want to wake her up, she looked so peaceful just like modeling, even though she’s not even trying to look cute right now.          

Chaerin: "Unnie thank you for taking care of me" I couldn't help but smile at her every time, it was addictive that I couldn't hold back. She sleeps like a comatose person unaware that I’ve placed her to a more comfortable position.

Chaerin: "My heart loves you unnie..you don't even know how much you mean to me. I apologize for my strictness sometimes... and the short replies I gave you. "

Daraa: "It's ok unnie understands.. I love cl-roo too"

Chaerin: "wait, o__o did i say anything?"

Dara unnie smile was so infectious that I unconsciously answered the same gesture leaving the conversation as if it was a breeze. She checked my temperature with the back of her palm and placed an otic thermometer in my ear.

Dara:"You seem fine.. It must be a pretty good dream. I hate waking you up" she whispered in my ear

Did she knew that I love her?

Her eyes were on me.. Please read my eyes.. Do you love me unnie?

Dara: "You were mumbling something"

Chaerin: "Huh?" Are you psychic? I asked her in my mind

Dara: "In your dream, I wished I spoke that language"

She patted my head as her eyes gave so much concern. I leaned my head on her shoulder and unnie held my arm around hers. I felt her looking at me, I love her eyes looking at me

Dara: "You scared me.. If you’re not feeling well, please rest chaerin.., i.. just don't wanna see you faint from exhaustion..."

It was inevitable my responsibilities came first before my health. I'm still in the middle of arranging AON concert. We already finished the preview vids AON journey and AON interview. I have to risk everything because I need to.. I want to...

I fell quite, all this things I want to achieve seems impossible, I... want to let them know that 2NE1 won't be forgotten.. We could survive through every generation, Bom-unnie, Minkki, Dara-unnie and I won't disappoint the world... our blackjacks...our..

Dara: "Chaerin, don't cry.." Unnie said as she gathered her arms around me.

I don't cry in front of her. Why now? Why would I cry? I've held up for so long, I’m too strong she sees me as the baddest female who never sobs. I'm breaking our image my wall CL ...i can't let this happen again. As I stopped my tears, she held me as if she could never let me go with her crushing hug. I savored her scent again sweet flower lavender, tulips, roses.. a touch of vanilla.. Even her scent made me want to fall in love.

I miss it...  I miss being a trainee with her, touching her so close without a care in the world. But I had to distance myself from those potential things that may cause our dreams to break apart. I will protect her as she protected and defended me through the things that I did. Sometimes i hate myself because I shared what I felt, and it ended up with misunderstandings to the point of too much commotion. It’s because i wanted to let everybody know what i felt.. because it is what it is..

Chaerin: "Unnie.. do you hate me?" I blurted out without thinking.

Dara: "I love you"

My heart clenched I'm still in shock every time she said that she loves me. I just can't explain why it beats faster as if I ran a marathon. My hands betrayed me as I comb the right side of her hair. I always loved playing with her hair.

My silly unnie..sweet like her perfume.

Chaerin: "Thank you unnie for giving me back my confidence"

She gave me an aeygo look and moved popping with child-like cheer. She bumped her head on my bedpost. LOL!

Dara: "aahh"               

I laughed, I'm sorry my facade stuck, all wanted is to be loved, just the way i love her. When I’m with unnie i melt, my feelings overflowing as it rushes through my heart. Yes, I had it bad. One of the reason why I'm the baddest~

Chaerin: "Let me see" I patted her head to create ease, and searched for a bump.

Chaerin: "I didn't know someone as old as you can still carelessly bump their head like a little kid."

Dara:"Hey, anyone older than me can still hit their head."

I laughed hard, oh this ajumma.. so cute

I looked at her eyes and caressed the side of her face to kiss her cheek... But she moved and the side of our lips touched. Too soft and affectionate... our kiss turned to reality, she responded, I felt moved as I kept it gentle. I love you..I felt it coming from her it’s no longer words... It was enough to make me understand every song I’d ever heard.  Until this moment I understand how anyone say they truly love. It made me want this kind of love, to be a part of what the rest of the world is experiencing.