You stared at him, dumbfounded, wondering what had gotten him upset not at all thinking he had seen every second of the kiss, his heart breaking with every millisecond that you did not break away.”What are you talking about?” you asked slowly, heart beginning to race.

“Did you like it?” he repeated softly, his eyes ing towards the ground, he no longer able to look at you. He shifted uncomfortably on your bed, awaiting your answer, though he already figured your answer.

“Like what?” you asked, perplexed. “Jongin,” you stared. “Look at me,” you ordered. “What the heck is going on here and what the heck are you talking about?” you asked impatiently, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed as you stared at him, shooting a look not of disgust or anger, but one of compassion and desperate want to understand.

“I saw you... You and Minho,” he muttered, still not looking at you, but instead, finding his black flip flops much more interesting, or rather, less awkward. Your heart sank and your mouth flew open.

“J-Jongin?” you stammered, trying to articulate what to say to the heartbroken boy across from you. “Jongin,” you sighed, walking over to sit next to him. He scooted over a few more inches from you. You simply moved closer to him, not at all minding that you were dripping over your bed. He tried moving farther away from you until he was sitting on the very foot of your bed. Again, you moved closer. “Jongin, you can keep trying to scoot over, but I'm pretty sure your next spot is the floor if you move any farther. Now, are you going to be a baby or are you going to hear me out about all of this?” you broke the choking silence. No response. “Jongin, what are you doing? Why are you being this way? So, Minho and I kissed, what's the big deal? What do you want me to say about all of this?” you huffed, cursing at yourself for not saying what you wanted to say, that the kiss meant nothing and Jongin was all you cared for, though Minho had played through your mind several times. In an instant, you were prone on your back, staring up at Jongin's muscular figure and piercing eyes as he stared down at you hauntingly. “J-Jong-”

“What's the big deal?!” he snapped, effectively cutting you off. “The big deal is that my heart is breaking and you don't even care. The big deal is that I am madly in love with you, but you can't see any of the hints that I drop. The big deal is I want to be the only one that can have you, the only one that you kiss, the only one that,” he sighed. “The only one that you love. ________, why are you doing this to me? Do you like watching me hurt? Do you like the power you have over me because at the moment, I am completely powerless to you, your smile, your laugh, your beauty, your everything, and there's nothing I can do about it but watch you play with me like a toy. That, __________, is the big deal,” he ranted, his face growing red as the tears started to rush. “And you know what the worst part is?” You gulped, terrified, though you wanted to help. “The worst part is,” he gulped. “That I can't do anything that I want with you. I want you in every way, but I know that I can never have you. Why do I do this to myself is a better question?” he sighed, the tears shamelessly trailing down his face. “Don't look at me. I'll just go,” he whimpered, climbing off of you before walking unsteadily to the door. You lie there, frozen for some time, trying desperately to process everything that had just happened in the last few minutes before, without thinking, you dashed out of your room to find him wobbling towards the front door, among the gasps and concerned mumbles from the other guests that had settled inside. Not caring that you were half in only a bikini, you caught up to him outside in the front lawn, wrapping your arms around him in a warm backhug. “Aish, get off of me,” he growled. You only tightened your grip.

“Jongin, listen to me. I need you to hear me out. I'm not letting go of you until you do and, if that means I have to walk down the street with no shoes and half , then so be it. Let's just hope no cops come around, so now, are you going to actually listen to me?” He ripped your arms away from his waist so he could turn to face you, his features displaying all the pain that his heart felt. His lip quivered as he stared at you, wondering what to say. He didn't want your relationship to end like this, over something that could be resolved with just a few words; all the same, he could hardly get his mind to work well enough to form words as his heartbeat quickened. He sighed.

“I don't want you to do that. You might get sick or hurt or something,” he grumbled, yet his words were sincere. You looked at him, wide-eyed, taken aback by his kind and calm reply as you half expected him to yell at you or immediately dash off.

“You-You still care?” you asked meekly, still surprised. He rubbed the back of his head and stared at the bright green grass of your lawn rather than you.

“Of course I still care. What part of madly in love with you don't you understand?” he muttered. “C'mon, let's go inside and put some clothes on you and maybe, we could talk this out,” he sighed, wrapping his arm around your waist and leading you back inside to your room. Though the touch was more of a caring than an affectionate one, you still shivered at the contact, knowing that you still had feelings for the perfect male strong and willing enough to at least give you another chance, and maybe, with luck, stay by your side without hurting you.

“So, what do you think I should wear, Mr. Fashionista?” you asked playfully, trying to lighten the mood, as you flopped onto your bed as he searched your messy closet. After minutes of waiting, you got up and wrapped your arms around his waist and lay your head on his back, missing the warmth and wishing he would respond. He only continued to rummage through your closet until he dug out a plain white t-shirt and a pair of dark blue sweatpants. You stepped away, surprised at his clothing choice.

“Here, put this on,” he mumbled, shoving the clothes at you. “I'll stand outside and wait for you to change,” he stated, bowing before exiting your room and closing the door behind him. You tried your best to quickly find a bra and underwear, remove your admittedly complicated swimsuit, and slip into your more comfortable outfit.

“Jongin, I'm done,” you whispered, creeping open the door, which startled him since he was leaning calmly against it. He nodded and followed you back inside before sitting on the foot of your bed. “Jongin,” you began.

“No, I'll start,” he interjected. “________, do you know what you are to me. Other than beautiful in even a slumpy outfit like that?” he asked vaguely as he twiddled his thumbs in his lap awkwardly.

“At first I thought I was a friend, but then we had that talk and, since then, I have had no idea what we are,” you admitted.

“That's right and do you remember what I said in that talk?”

“You said a lot of things. What do you mean?”

“I did, but do you remember the most important thing that I said, the thing that I'm actually trying to show you without using just words?”

“I can't say just one thing,” you croaked.

“I meant the thing about me always wanting to be by your side every day and every night. When I first realized these feelings, I knew that Minho would be a problem for me, but I didn't want to give up because I just didn't want to leave you. I don't want you to leave me either, but I don't think that this romance thing is working out. I don't want to leave you forever, but I think that we just need to step away and think about this. Of course, I still love you dearly, but I don't want to hurt you and I certainly don't want you to hurt yourself with thinking about this. I think that if you truly like Minho, then go ahead and be with him and once I get my feelings and my mind straight, I will be right back by your side, cheering the two of you on. I can handle heartbreak so that's no issue. The only thing I want is for you to be happy with whatever you choose to do with your life and I just hope that I can be a part of some of those moments, but for now, I think it's best if I go for a while.” With this, he got up, bent down to kiss you sweetly on the forehead and disappeared, leaving the party altogether and walking to his own house. A part of you wanted to run after him, but another knew that this was the right thing to do, though it tore you asunder to think that your closest friend had so easily taken a hiatus in your life. You flopped back on your bed, sighed, and let the tears flow shamelessly. You wanted to stay strong, but so simply, you broke and, without Jongin, you had no idea how to put yourself back together again.

“Hun, the party is wrapping up. Say goodby to your friends, including this nice fellow, Minho,” your mother called what seemed like an eternity later. You groaned, reluctantly climbing out of bed to trudge to the door and paint a fake smile on your puffy and red features.

“Hey, so hope you guys all had fun,” you smiled weakly once you stood before your friends that were preparing to leave.

“Hey, are you alright? You probably shouldn't even be standing and should go lie back down,” Leah suggested. “But it was definitely fun and we totally have to do this again sometime.”

“Or we could just go to K-Town for some awesome Korean barbeque,” another friend chirped.

“Are you saying that her awesome barbequeing wasn't enough?” Leahn quipped. You smiled at how silly your friends were, happy for a split second that you were around people who cared before thinking of the one that had left. “Anyway, it was really fun. Thanks for having us over,” Leah beamed. “And by the way, good luck on getting my brother,” she whispered before giggling sweetly. You tensed at the mention of his name though he was towering right beside her. You looked up at him in his dark brown eyes, wondering how one person could affect two so greatly.

“Ah, no problem. I'll see you guys later. I am still a bit lightheaded and all,” you lied before reaching out to give her and everyone else a hug. You paused when it was time to hug Minho, wondering if you really had enough emotional strength to do so.

“Don't worry, I'm always here for you,” he cooed, taking the initiative by grabbing you and pulling you closer to him. You almost fainted in his arms, your heart not able to take the anguish that such a trivial action was bringing you.

“C'mon, you big dork, let her get some rest,” Leah sighed, prying him off of you. “Bye, _______,” she chimed before heading to the door, followed by your other guests who bowed, wished you well, and bid you farewell. Once the last of them were gone, you slumped to your knees and wondered if you could simply die right there on the carpet, anything to make the pain go away. Knowing that you couldn't crawl to your room, you slowly and unsteadily rose to your feet to trek past your concerned mother back into your room. You jumped onto your bed, hoping the pillows and sheets would consume you before you drifted off to sleep, the hitched breathing from all the quiet crying setting a lullaby.

Yo, Jongin, what was that all about today? What's going on with you and your girl?

Hey, Kris, I don't know, man. I think it's best that I just step back for a while. I saw her kiss Minho...

You saw that?! :O

Yeah.

Dude, I am so sorry, but do you really think that staying away from her is the best thing to do? :/

What other option is there? I clearly can't get in the way of her and Minho. Plus, isn't this what you meant by playing it cool? This is the only way I can think of that I can maintain my sanity and my dignity without being a mess. She saw me cry today.

Usually, I would say that's a bad thing, but then again, I'm always kidding, but I'm serious and that isn't a bad thing. You are a human being and you have emotions. Even I do and I come off as the robot of any group of people. Only Suho knows that sensitive side of me, the one that is afraid, the one that doesn't want to lose all he's worked for and you shouldn't be ashamed to show that side to your girl. So what if she saw you cry? You think being cool is ignoring her completely?

I didn't say that I was ignoring her completely. I just said that I was going to take a break.

And how long will that last? A week, two weeks, a month, the rest of the year, until we all graduate? -_-

Now you're taking it too far. All I said was I was taking a BREAK.

And usually, that doesn't mean anything good. That's what people say when they break up with people. Are you breaking it off with her before it even starts? :O

What am I supposed to do? I saw her make out with a guy right in front of me. I can't go up against that >.<

Did you even let her explain to you what happened? -__-

Why are you on her side? This isn't like the movies where I just sit there and let the girl lie to me and tell me it's not what it looks like.

You're right, this isn't the movies. It's real life and in real life, there are explanations for everything and sometimes, it's something you don't expect. What did the two of you talk about then?

I told her just what I told you, I need to take a break and it would be best for the b