That day will be forever engraved in my mind. I had just turned seventeen a few weeks earlier and I was still on vacations.

It was an extremely slow and boring day for me. Suhyun and his family had left for their beach house and I chose not to go with them. Kyungsoo was taking two weeks off and I wanted to stay with him no matter what.

But he still wasn’t home, and I had gotten off the phone with Mama a few minutes earlier, resulting in me getting bored again. So I decided to go around the house and clean a little bit. Kyungsoo would be grateful for that, I was sure. He didn’t have much time to do chores nowadays, but that was about to change! At least for two weeks…

It took me a long and excruciating hour to clean my room top to bottom. Since I was already tired, I figured I could clean the house another time, and for now, I should just focus on the bedrooms. So I made my way to Kyungsoo’s bedroom.

He always made sure to keep it as organized as possible, but there were still things to be arranged. He always made his bed in the morning, so I obviously skipped that, focusing on his wardrobe now. It was goddamn cramped in there.

He had his clothes stacked up on the left side, and on the right, he had see-through bags of my baby and toddler clothes. I smiled at that. Seemed like Kyungsoo was never able to let go of my baby things, even some of my old favorite toys were there. Wanting to take them out and play with the toys for a little bit, I started pulling the bag with as much strength as I could.

But instead of the bag, I received a blow to the head by a very heavy book.

I fell backwards with a pain filled huff, coughing a little at the dust that went crazy around me. For how long was that shelf untouched?!

I crawled next to the book, tilting my head in confusion when I noticed a picture of Kyungsoo in this teenager years. He looked around my age, even. I was instantly intrigued, since Kyungsoo never talked about his past. Mama used to tell me a lot about Kyungsoo when he was a child, but she never really mentioned Kyungsoo later on.

I flipped the pages slowly, quickly realizing that this was a photo album. Mama and Papa appeared in the first couple of photos, but after that, only Kyungsoo, a girl and another boy appeared. I was very confused at this point. I was sure I had never seen this people in my life, but Kyungsoo looked very close to them.

The album basically narrated Kyungsoo’s friendship with those two people, but as I got closer to the end, the photos stopped. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Kyungsoo wasn’t one to let something this precious unfinished. So I decided to keep going.

There were at least 10 blank pages.

And to my absolute surprise and confusion, in the last page of the album, there was a big black and white picture glued to the page. I blinked a few times, analyzing the picture before it downed on me hard.

It was an ultrasound.

Why something like there was in this album, I didn’t know. But somehow, all of a sudden, I felt terrified. I felt my heart clench and beat harshly as if I was on an adrenalin rush.

I heard the front door open and close, which made me jolt in surprise. Without really thinking about what I was doing, I ripped the ultrasound off the page, closing the album and throwing it back inside the wardrobe before closing it.

I had only gotten up when Kyungsoo busted through the door, looking at me with a greeting smile before his eyes shifted downwards. And then he visibly froze.

“H-How did – How did you find that?” He whispered almost in disbelief.

I looked at the ultrasound in my hand before looking up at him again. I didn’t know what was going on at all, but I didn’t need to be a genius at observation to see how Kyungsoo looked frightened. So I assumed by myself that this ultrasound wasn’t of him as a baby.

“In an album.” I answered, confused. Was that something that I shouldn’t have seen? I felt like I was in for a long scolding, and I was in fact getting ready for it. But it never came.

Instead, in was pulled into a hug that knocked the breath out of my lungs.

“Have you read what’s in the back…?” He asked me in a defeated whisper.

I didn’t answer him. Instead, I pulled back from the hug and turned the picture around so I could see the back of it. My heart skipped a beat when I read my name in a very neat handwriting, something that definitely belonged to a woman, alongside a paragraph.

My beautiful daughter at 7 months of age. Mommy is feeling very weak these days, but I’ll do my best to be strong for you. Just hang on there for a few more months. We will be able to meet soon! 

I heard Kyungsoo sigh and I looked up at him in time to see him sit down on the edge of the bed. He gestured me to sit next to him, and I obeyed quickly.

That day, I was forcedly pushed into a place I didn’t belong. And for the first time, I genuinely thought I didn’t belong with Kyungsoo anymore.