JR felt that it was selfish that he wasn’t happy about this at all. Jason was seeing Leo after not seeing him for months. He was supposed to be happy for Jason. As someone who love Jason, he was supposed to be happy.

But he wasn’t. He was worried. He knew that his hope that Jason would love him back had become a lot less likely to come true. It’s going to be a lot harder for Jason to get over Leo if he actually sees Leo, especially after months of not seeing him.

JR’s heart felt heavy when he saw just how happy Jason looked.

“Little brother,” Jason told him, “Leo didn’t sound like he hated me. He even said that he missed me.”

“I don’t think he ever hated you,” JR responded, trying to sound supportive.

“Do you think he would be fine with what I am?”

“He obviously is fine with it now that he wants to see you.”

“I’m so happy,” Jason said with a blissful smile, as he put his hands together in excitement.

“And I’m happy that you’re happy,” JR responded.

“Ahhh,” Jason said in content, wrapping his arms around JR tightly.

“Hyung, you have to clean up this place if he’s coming to visit!” JR tried to sound enthusiastic. He didn’t want Jason to see that it was actually making him sad and angry.

“You’re right,” Jason said and he began running around removing the alcohol bottles from the floor. “He can’t see that I had been a drinking mess after he left me.”

JR also helped Jason clean around, feeling a prickle in his heart all the way through as Jason told him about how excited he was to see Leo again.

Leo was there in about half an hour. Jason looked suddenly nervous when the doorbell rang.

“Should I go answer it?” JR asked.

Jason shook his head and opened it slowly. Leo stepped inside immediately hugging Jason with all of his might.

There was no exchange of words for a long time. They just hugged for at least three minutes. It was only when they pulled away that JR realized they were both actually crying.

“I missed you,” Leo said to Jason, wiping his eyes with his sleeves.

“Me too,” Jason said with a sniffle, and they hugged again.

JR felt very misplaced at the moment as he watched the reunion. He felt like he was intruding on something between them. He felt like he needed to give them space. Without another word, he slipped out of the apartment, closing the door behind him, and neither of them noticed that he left.

He walked outside, not knowing what to do or for how long he’ll be out. He just wanted to give the two friends their privacy, but he realized it was quite a bad idea. He wasn’t wearing very many layers of clothing and it was freezing cold outside. He sighed and just sat there on the staircase outside of the dorm, hugging his body in attempt to feel a little warmer.

He waited. He waited for Jason to come out looking for him, or for Leo to leave, or for something to indicate that it was okay to go inside without intruding. Although he was cold and tired, he couldn’t bring himself to stand up to and knock on the door. He felt like he wouldn’t be welcome.

Eventually, he drifted off to sleep there.

He was awoken by Jason, who covered him with a blanket and helped him inside. “JR, you’re freezing!” Jason had pointed out with concern as he held JR’s cold, shivering hand.

“I’ll make him something hot to drink!” JR heard Leo say. Jason began covering him with blankets and taking JR’s hands and rubbing them.

“Oh little brother, why did you let this happen?” Jason said looking distressed as he tried to keep the shaking JR warm, “you’re going to catch a cold now.”

Leo then appeared with a mug of tea. JR was shivering, and Leo recognized that he couldn’t hold the mug. He took a seat beside JR, held his chin as he put the mug to JR’s lips. JR sipped from it immediately, feeling his body slowly defrost as the warm liquid went down.

“Are you okay?” Leo asked JR with concern, feeling his forehead.

JR nodded slightly, feeling rude that he hadn’t said anything to greet him yet.

“Hello, xianbei,” JR stuttered as he shivered, feeling his throat scratched from being in the cold for too long.

“Hi JR,” Leo said with a sympathetic smile, “it’s very nice to meet you.”

JR cleared his throat in order to sound less weak, but it only led to a coughing fit.

“Here drink, some more,” Leo said, taking JR’s chin in his hand again and letting him drink.

Jason then put his arms around JR, hugging him tightly as he tried to keep him warm.

JR suddenly felt bad that his plan to give them some privacy had ended up counter-productive in the end. There he was, seated in between them as they both tried to take care of him.

“I’ll go take a hot shower,” JR said as he tried to get up from between them.

“No,” Jason told him, “wait a little while before. Your hair and body will get wet and that might only make it worse.”

“But…”

“One second, let me get you something for your throat,” Jason said and he shot upright and headed towards his cupboard. Meanwhile, Leo had him drink more tea.

Jason gave him a pill to that would apparently help him sore throat, and JR took it, thanking him.

After a while of awkward silence, Jason turned to Leo and said, “This is JR, the leader of NU’EST. He is one of the kindest, most selfless souls I have ever met. He’s very special to me…” Jason said and he paused.

JR hoped that Jason would introduce him as his boyfriend. He felt that if Leo knew, it would reassure him of Jason’s commitment. He felt like it would partially disregard Jason’s feelings for Leo.

“He is my best friend in NU’EST,” Jason said, a little reluctant, “and he’s so much like you,” he added, “he even loses in video games like you,” Jason joked.

Leo raised his eyebrows at JR, “you play?”

JR nodded.

“Set up the console!” Leo told Jason and Jason laughed as he walked over to set it up.

As Jason was setting it up, Leo turned to inspect JR. JR knew that Leo was staring at him, but pretended not to in order to avoid the awkwardness.

They played after that for a very long time. JR no longer felt cold as the excitement of the game took over him. Again, playing the games seemed to make everything more comfortable between them.

At one point, Leo and JR were playing, and Jason went to the bathroom.

Leo paused the game and turned to JR immediately after Jason was inside.

“How much do you know about Jason?” Leo asked JR.

“I know a lot,” JR answered him.

“Do you know that he’s…”

“Gay? Yeah. He told me about what happened between you two.”

“Wow, he must really like you then,” Leo said. “Do you know if he still loves me like that?”

“Maybe you should ask him,” JR shrugged, not really comfortable answering that. He wanted to say no, but he also didn’t want to lie.

“I will,” Leo said.

“Why do you want to know?” JR asked curiously, suddenly afraid of the answer.

“Because, after being away from him for so long, I realized that I might love him too,” Leo said with a shrug.

And that was the very answer that JR had feared.

---

A/N: Excuse me as I watch this for the bajillionth time. :D