“Really? Ren?” JR asked when he got over the initial shock.

“Yes, Ren. I know he has a wonderful boyfriend, and this boyfriend is also very dear to my heart, so of course I won't do anything about this hopeless crush. You can’t tell him or Baekho though. Or anyone for that matter! It would ruin our relationship and I want it to stay the way it is.”

“I won’t,” JR mouthed, looking away from Jason.

“What’s wrong, little brother? You look disappointed,” Jason noticed.

“I’m fine,” JR said, faking a smile, “I just need some water.”

He made his way into the kitchen. He didn’t really need water, but he wanted and excuse to turn his face away from Jason so that Jason would not see just how sad it made him that Jason liked Ren. He opened the fridge for cold water, but instead, he found himself reaching for something else.

“Hyung, can I have some of this?” he asked, raising the can of beer cans for Jason to see.

“Sure. Bring me one too,” Jason said.

And so JR drank. Alcohol made him feel better at times when he suffered heartache. He would drink, despite the fact he wasn’t of age. Drinking would help lift the strain from his heart temporarily, and that was why he drank so many cans that night. He and Jason alike.

JR drank one can, and moved on to the next. And then the next. Jason would follow JR and drink just as much. As they drank, they conversed about video games and petty things.

It was only a matter of time before both of them had started to feel tipsy and so decided to stop drinking and go to bed.

When the lights were off, and Jason and JR were in bed and prepared to sleep, Jason put his arm around JR and pulled him closer, burying his face in JR’s hair. JR didn't mind it at all. He liked it actually.

“Do you do this with Ren?” JR asked Jason.

“No. Ren has a boyfriend and so I don’t. I can only hug you. That’s why I actually prefer you sleeping here over Ren. Ren is difficult to spend the night with. For various reasons.”

“What reasons?”

“He’s beautiful. When he comes out of the shower, he just mesmerizes me with his wet, dripping hair. It’s really hard not to hug him in my sleep. And even if I did hug him in my sleep, that would end quite disastrously, if you know what I mean.”

JR turned to face Jason, “hyung,” JR called.

“Hmm?”

“What do you like about Ren?”

“His confidence. The way he just embraces his femininity. The way he knows what he’s worth and just his poise. I think confidence is extremely attractive.”

I am not confident in the least bit, JR thought sadly.

“JR?” Jason called. JR could barely see Jason’s face with lights turned off, but the moonlight through the window helped him make out that Jason was staring right at him.

“Yeah?”

“Can I kiss you again?” Jason asked.

JR had almost forgotten that Jason had kissed him that night after losing the video game. The question that Jason had posed had an obvious answer: of course. JR wanted to feel the intimate proximity with Jason. He wanted to get butterflies in his stomach. He wanted to be kissed by the person he liked. Instead of saying what was in his heart though, he said, “but I’m not Ren. Why do you want to kiss me?”

“It’s just that…”

“I remind you of Leo?” JR finished for Jason.

“Yeah. I mean, when I kissed you then, I imagined you were Leo. It felt nice. I felt like I was re-living the days I spent with him, and I was indulging in the desires I had for him. If you find it gross or anything... you know what? Forget I asked. It was such a stupid and selfish request made because I'm a little lightheaded, I’m sorry,” Jason said.

Maybe it was the slight tipsiness that made JR act, or maybe it was his desire to not let this opportunity pass: immediately, he brought his lips to Jason’s, and let Jason take control from there.

It was more than just a kiss. I started off that way, but later it became more passionate. Jason hovered above JR, his hands on either said of JR’s head as he moved his mouth against JR’s. JR responded to the kiss without a moment’s hesitation, kissing Jason back with full fervor.

That was the last thing that JR remembered about that night when he woke up the next morning.