i tried not to make it crappy welp im sorry

but yes which person asked for a drabble at the strip club /squints at all of you/

also who likes infinite 
 

Sehun and Jongin are grumpy again. They said I’m not allowed to do anything with Jongdae or Luhan for a whole month. I didn’t mean to hit Sungjong last night but I still feel bad. I don’t think I’ll be allowed to see him for a while either.

There is a solid ‘thwack’ of something hitting Joonmyun’s window.

The catboy jumps in his bed and drops his book, wondering if this is some kind of punishment for staying up late at night when everyone else is asleep. Grabbing his pillow, he creeps over to the window to investigate. He flinches when the noise comes again and his ear twitches; it sounds like something bouncing off the glass.

Joonmyun takes a deep breath, holds his pillow tightly and peeps out the window.

Standing on the grass, a little pebble in his hand and about to toss it a third time, is Jongdae. Joonmyun pulls the curtain aside and squints at the figure in the dark to make sure it’s who he thinks it is. Kitty ears? Tail? Short stature? Check. He opens the window and without warning, Jongdae takes a run towards the window and hoists himself onto and over the windowsill, landing softly on the carpet inside.

Joonmyun stares at him in shock. “Why were you outside my window?” he demands. “And why are you throwing rocks? I live on the ground!”

“I just wanted to throw rocks at your window,” Jongdae shrugs, glancing around the room at the messy bed and the book lying on the covers. “Whatcha doing tonight, Joonkitty? Isn’t it late for you to be up?”

“Why are you at my house?” Joonmyun crosses his arms grumpily. “I’m going to go and get Jongin–”

“Is he sleeping?” Jongdae cuts in.

“I – yes? But–”

“Fantastic.” Jongdae seizes Joonmyun’s hand and lunges for the window, forcing the smaller catboy to either jump out or break his legs on the wall. Fortunately, Joonmyun goes for the former and the two of them sail out the window, landing safely on two feet upon the grass with their natural-born agility. Jongdae doesn’t even let them have a second’s break and the next thing Joonmyun knows is getting dragged into a car waiting on the road.

“Um, where are we going?” he asks anxiously. Jongdae pushes him into the backseat and hops in beside him.

“On an adventure,” Luhan replies from the driver’s seat, and off they go.

Infinite Strip Club, the sign reads in lurid neon pink lighting.

Joonmyun gapes at the other catboys incredulously as they line up to get in. “Do people strip here?” he squawks. “Is this a strip club?”

“It’s a gay bar too, but yes,” Jongdae chortles, and Joonmyun doesn’t feel so good. Why did they have to come here? He’s not sure he wants to see people taking their clothes off or have their bits and pieces in his face.

“At least it’s not the seedy place where Luhan ended up on the table,” Jongdae continues, moving along in the line. “Don’t worry, just enjoy yourself and you’ll be fine.”

“ID please, boys. Especially you,” the bouncer asks, his gaze boring holes into Joonmyun’s face. Jongdae cackles.

“Tell your boss that Luhan is here,” Luhan says, and the big man rolls his eyes before going inside.

Joonmyun looks at them quizzically. “Who’s the boss?”

“Dongwoo’s one of Minseok’s friends from high school,” the blond catboy grins. “This place is his. He always lets me in for free.”

The bouncer comes back and grudgingly allows the catboys entry without identification. Luhan blows him a kiss as he saunters past. It’s dark inside, with music pumping in the background and lights illuminating the bar and the stage. There’s a pole and a semi- dancer twirling around it, stopping to grind himself against the metal and throwing the onlookers a flirty smile.

Joonmyun grabs Jongdae’s hand, trembling all over. “ people,” he warbles, eyes wide and terrified as they find a table to sit down at.

Jongdae gives him a look. “Have you never seen a person before?”  

“ strangers.” Joonmyun makes another funny noise and Luhan flags down the bartender, who comes over as soon as he recognizes who it is. Jongdae waves.

“Hey, no Minseok today?”

Luhan shakes his head. “He’s sleeping. Party pooper. Dongwoo, this is the .”

“It’s Joonmyun!” the catboy says indignantly.

Dongwoo grins, rows of sparkly teeth showing, and reaches over to scratch him behind the kitty ears. “Aw,” he coos, “this your first time here, cutie?”

Joonmyun nods, still dazed that a total stranger just called him cute and petted him too. Maybe he’ll stay for him.

“I’ll promise you’ll love it. One of our dancers is a kitten, and he’s absolutely gorgeous.”

That’s nice and all, but Joonmyun really really doesn’t need to see any stripping catboys. Once Dongwoo’s gone to make them some drinks, he pulls on Luhan’s hand for help.

“I’m going to see people,” he whines, kitty ears flattening against his hair.

“You need some fresh air in your life,” is Luhan’s reasoning.

“Sehun’s must be getting to your head,” Jongdae says, and Joonmyun’s starting to think the Jongdae’s obsession for his owner’s is becoming borderline creepy. “I’m sure they won’t mind if you get some new eyecandy.”

Joonmyun might as well have a conversation with a brick wall. At least his drink arrives and he’s super glad to see Luhan got him a raspberry lemonade, and asks Dongwoo if there’s any flavouring in it.

“…No? Just raspberry cordial and uh, lemonade?” The bartender is perplexed and Jongdae and Luhan have to put every ounce of their control into not snorting out loud. Satisfied, Joonmyun sips at his drink to calm his nerves down at the prospect of having to see people soon.

“What do you think he’ll do?” Luhan whispers into Jongdae’s ear.

“ himself,” Jongdae replies without missing a beat.

The music changes to a new song and the lights in the club dim even further, prompting Joonmyun to look up. He’s just in time to see the last stripper turn around and strut off into the back of the stage, his bare showing and shoulders broad under the soft blue lighting.

The next dancer that comes out is a catboy, with soft pink hair and caramel brown kitty ears, slinking across the stage with supernatural feline grace and arching his body as he climbs the pole. His excuse for a flimsy shirt flutters with every movement he makes, his barely-there leather shorts straining as he grasps the pole with his legs and turns upside down to display his lithe, pale torso.

The crowd cheers and Joonmyun gulps, trying to shrink back into his seat. “Help,” he says, mouth opening and closing like a stunned fish, and the other two catboys snigger. “He’s going to take his pants off.”

“He’s already taken his pants off,” Jongdae notes, watching the pretty pink-haired catboy fling his booty shorts into the audience. “He’s coming this way.”

Joonmyun peers across the room to see the catboy approach a table near them and bend over, whispering into the ear of the man sitting there. He can’t hear what they’re saying over the music’s bass but he’s sure it’s something like ‘you want a dance?’

And it appears the answer’s yes, because now the lucky guy’s being treated to a and more grinding and hip swaying that Joonmyun’s ever seen at any one time in his life. The man slips several bank notes under the catboy’s garter and he gets a kiss on the cheek in return before the catboy moves on.

“I saw you watching!” Jongdae hoots out of the blue, poking Joonmyun’s already red cheek repeatedly. “Did you like it?”

“No!” Joonmyun avoids looking directly at him, focusing on the table in front of him instead. He supposes the dancer is kind of cute and he’d probably make a nice snuggle buddy too, but he’d rather have Jongin and Sehun.

“You’d rather have Jongin and Sehun?” Luhan echoes, and Joonmyun flushes horribly. He hadn’t realized he’d said that aloud. “Huh, we’ll see if you still think that when our kitty here is done with you.”

Joonmyun has no idea who ‘our kitty here’ is until Luhan yells out, “Sungjongie! Come this way, will you?”

The pink-haired catboy smiles.

“And then his bum was in my face and he was trying to touch me and sit in my lap and put his hands in my pants,” Joonmyun recalls shrilly, shaking Sehun’s arm the next morning at breakfast as he tells his story, “and then Luhan gave him some money and I nearly got kissed so I accidentally screamed and hit him.”

“You… you hit the stripper?” Sehun gapes at him.

“It was an accident! And then Dongwoo found out we weren’t supposed to be there and called Minseok and he drove me back! At three in the morning!”

It all comes out in a rush of jumbled words and hysterical babbling and Sehun stares very hard at the catboy, and very intensely, for a very long time. “I think I need to call Minseok too,” he says feebly. “Oh my god.”