I got a haircut. I’m really grumpy because Evil Lady messed it up.

“Jongin, my eyes are itchy,” Joonmyun complains, brushing his fringe out away with one hand.

It only takes a second’s worth of distraction for Jongin to catch him off guard and throw a banana peel onto the Mario Kart race track, which Joonmyun tries in vain to swerve around but ends up driving over it and skidding off into last place. “Jongin, I saw that! You cheated!”

Jongin laughs aloud as he crosses the finish line, putting down the controller to cuddle his lapful of pouting catboy. “What’s wrong with your eyes, kitten?” He tilts Joonmyun’s head back to peer into his eyes but he doesn’t see anything stuck in there or any sign of infection. 

Joonmyun shakes his head, and his fringe of brown hair falls down over his forehead and eyes like the bottom of a soft, shiny curtain. “My hair’s too long,” he says, pointing forlornly at it. “I think I need a haircut.”

“Okay, who’s next?” the stylist calls, and Joonmyun leaps up from the waiting bench because he’s next in line.

“I am!” he announces, tugging Jongin along so he can watch him get his hair cut. The hairdresser sits the catboy in the spinny chair and starts sweeping up hair on the floor from the previous client.

Joonmyun bristles with excitement; along with naps, Jongin and Sehun, cat food and chocolate fish, he has an oddly soft spot for having his hair cut. He’d told Sehun once that it was like being pampered, having someone scratch their fingers across his scalp and comb out his hair and cut it so he looks cute again. He always sits docilely in the chair with a big grin on his face as he watches himself in the mirror.

The hairdresser clips the protective cover around his neck and Joonmyun feels like he’s a vampire dressed up for Halloween. “So, what kind of cut do we want today?” she inquires.

“Just a trim,” Jongin replies.

The catboy nods. “And cut my fringe too, please,” he adds, pursing his lips and blowing up at it, “so that I can see properly and beat my owner at Mario Kart when we get home.”

Jongin flashes the confused hairdresser a blinding smile and she numbly proceeds to do as he says.

She trims the top and back of Joonmyun’s hair first, the snip snip of her scissors and glide of her comb a welcome sensation for the catboy. His hair is fine and downy like the fur of his ears and tail, and it’s no wonder everyone seems to like touching it and patting his head. On some days he’s surprised his hair hasn’t become an oily mess yet from all the petting.

The hairdresser moves in front of him and bends down slightly to cut his fringe back up to where it normally stops at eyebrow level. Joonmyun squeezes his eyes shut as free hair sprinkles down his face, keeping them closed until she’s done.

“How’s that looking right now?” she says, and all three of them look in the mirror. Joonmyun prays that hair won’t land in his eye when he opens it to see the progress.

“What do you think, kitten?” Jongin asks. “Is that better?”

Joonmyun sticks an arm out and touches his hair. It’s still long-ish at the back and it’ll probably grow out really fast, so he indicates to it and requests that the hairdresser cut it a bit more.

Joonmyun meets Jongin’s gaze in the mirror and sees that he’s standing to one side like a sentinel, posture relaxed but he’s observing his kitty’s haircut like an army officer. The catboy giggles to himself at the notion of General Kim Jongin barking out orders and lo and behold, he accidentally breathes in too deeply and inhales a stray hair or two off his face. The imminent tickling of his nose is followed by a sudden, loud sneeze that has Joonmyun snapping forward and flailing his arms to cover his mouth (so he doesn’t spread his germs around. He’s a well-mannered kitty.).

There is a tug at the hair at the back of his head that feels strangely abnormal, and then Joonmyun knows it’s definitely abnormal when he hears the hairdresser gasp behind him. His insides fill with dread and he wonders what she’s done to his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes frantically, “I didn’t mean to move, I just had to sneeze and I couldn’t stop it and I’m really sorry–”

“Uh, no, it’s hardly your fault, I think I’ve trimmed a little too much off there…” The hairdresser lets Jongin come over and Joonmyun sees him frown in the mirror. Was it that bad?

“It’s okay,” Jongin says patiently, and now Joonmyun’s bursting with the need to see what’s happened to the back of his head. The hairdresser is still looking contrite and the catboy wishes he hadn’t laughed at General Kim Jongin anymore. “It’ll grow back, kitten. Don’t worry, it’s not that bad.”

“C-can I see?” Joonmyun asks nervously. His fingers grip the arms of his spinny chair under his protective slip. “Is it ugly?”

“No, it’s not, don’t be silly.” Jongin motions to the hairdresser and she quickly picks up a framed mirror, holding it behind the catboy’s head.

Joonmyun yelps. There’s a bald patch right there, maybe less than half a finger’s length long, but to him it looks like he’s been hacked at with gardening shears. The white of his scalp is visible among his dark locks. “How long will it take to grow back?” he says in a trembling voice.

“Not long,” the hairdresser answers, much to his relief. “I’m sorry about that, honey. I didn’t know you were about to sneeze.”

“It’s okay,” Joonmyun’s lower lip wobbles. “I know you didn’t mean to. I’m… I’m sorry for sniffing up a hair.”

He knows Sehun will sympathize with him and give him cuddles and kisses until he feels better about it, but nobody else is allowed to know this ever happened to him. Not Jongdae, not Luhan, not even Donut.

“Jongin, how will I hide it?” he asks his owner as the snip-snip of scissors starts up again. “I don’t want anyone to see!”

After Joonmyun’s haircut, Jongin buys them matching beanies.