I went to visit Mrs. Park at the adoption centre today because I really missed her. She was so happy to see me. It was kind of weird too because I also saw someone that I thought I would never see again, but everything’s okay now.

Joonmyun is drawing.

He has a little corner of his room where he stores a line of recycled spaghetti and baked bean tins on the desk, each of them filled with colouring pencils of various lengths, crayons and other miscellaneous objects like erasers and pencil sharpeners. A stack of blank white paper sits next to the tins, which Sehun and Jongin make sure never runs low. Joonmyun keeps all his drawings in his the bottom drawer of the desk, but only the best ones get pinned to his bedroom walls. He’s not like Jongdae, who sticks strange pictures of his owner’s face everywhere in his room and draws on them. Drawing is a hobby from Joonmyun’s days in the adoption centre, where he often had little else to do.

“What’s that?” Sehun asks, peering over Joonmyun shoulder. The catboy jumps in his chair, startled at the sudden intrusion. The hair on his tail settles when he realizes it’s only Sehun. He’d been so absorbed in his art that he’d barely noticed his owner coming into his room to get him for lunch.

“It’s us,” he replies, showing Sehun the drawing with a smile. His stick figures have come a long way in a short time and although the three of them are still stick figures, Jongin’s face is no longer the shade of burnt potato, Sehun’s stopped being a ghost and even their hair styles have been drawn more carefully. In the picture, two people hold hands with Joonmyun and there’s plenty of blue and yellow in the background.

“We’re at the beach,” he explains. He points to where stickfigure!Joonmyun is standing on the sand. “Except I’m here because I can’t swim.”

“Aw, cute,” Sehun grins, ruffling the catboy’s hair fondly. “It’s like the one you drew when we first saw you in the window!”

Joonmyun grins too, like he’s about to agree wholly, and then suddenly his expression is solemn and pensive as he stares down at the drawing.

Sehun studies him carefully. “What’s bothering you, Joonie?”

The catboy shakes his head. “Nothing! I’m just wondering how Mrs. Park is,” he says, a nostalgic smile crossing his face as he looks back up at his owner. It’s like he’s thinking about good memories of her. “Sehun, do you think it’s okay if we visit her?”

He hopes he won’t get in trouble for asking that.

It’s been about a year since Sehun and Jongin took Joonmyun home with them. It’s probably a given that their catboy might miss one of the people who had made a profound impact on his life, even if that person was just the old lady who spent her days finding a home for the hybrids in her care, but Sehun is understanding. The last thing he wants is for Joonmyun to think the people in his past have to be forgotten now that he’s with his new owners.

Sehun leans down and sneaks a kiss into the crook of Joonmyun’s neck. The catboy yelps in surprise and flails in his chair.

“Well, come and eat lunch then,” Sehun says, holding out his hand. “You can tell me when you want to visit while you’re having a nice big bowl of noodles.”

“M-Mrs. Park?” Joonmyun’s eyes go as round as dinner plates as soon as he sets foot in the adoption centre. The old lady is hunched over by the reception desk, shuffling through some paper files. Joonmyun runs up to her, only slowing down when he hears Sehun call ‘don’t knock her over!’ after him. “Mrs. Park, I’m back!” he cries, ecstatic when she turns around and a radiant smile lights up her entire face.

“Oh, how I have missed you, Joonmyun!” Mrs. Park lets him wrap his arms around her as she squeezes him back tightly. She’s grown some more grey hairs since he last saw her, and maybe her laugh lines have gotten a bit deeper too, but it’s still the same Mrs. Park who warmed up his milk in the microwave and put extra blankets on him at night (not that she never did the same for the other hybrids, but Joonmyun likes to think he’s special).

She frowns slightly at him, inspecting him up and down. “Why are you back here? You’re not being returned again, are you? In fact, one of – ah, hello Mr. Oh, how are you?”

“I just wanted to visit you!” Joonmyun nods happily, and then his bottom lip sticks out in a cute pout. “I missed you lots, Mrs. Park.”

She laughs and musses up his hair. “I bet you did, she says. “I’m glad you’re happy at your new home.” She pats the papers on the desk before lowering her voice to talk to them. “Now, not to be rude but I just have some paperwork to fill out first. Joonmyun, you still remember your third-oldest littermate, don’t you?”

One of Joonmyun’s kitty ears tilts to the side in curiosity. He doesn’t really remember all that well because his littermates weren’t exactly the kindest people to him, but his littermates are his littermates and they’re still family. “Yes…?”

“That’s good. The poor kitten was brought back here last week,” Mrs. Park tells him in hushed tones, and Joonmyun’s mouth is an ‘o’ of surprise. “He was devastated, the little muppet. They said he was a bit too aggressive for their liking. But he was re-adopted just this morning! These are his documents here that I’m sorting out.”

“Oh…” Joonmyun scans the adoption centre for his littermate and oddly enough, it’s his nose that picks up the familial scent of his own kin. He tugs on Sehun’s hand. “I’ll be back.”

He leaves his owner to chat with Mrs. Park and he scampers off to where his littermate is, sitting by himself and sifting through his suitcase of belongings.

“Hi,” Joonmyun says nervously, and his littermate blinks back at him.

“Long time no see, shrimp. Got brought back because you’re still a baby?”

Joonmyun winces at the age-old nickname. Sehun always told him there was nothing wrong with being small, but it just really ate away at him sometimes.

“I’m not a baby,” he says firmly. He balls his fists, but he keeps them by his side. He promises himself that he won’t be like that kitten that left the adoption centre a year ago, the runt of his litter and bullied by everyone he knew. The catboy in the window. “I’m a better kitty now.”

His littermate raises an eyebrow. His gaze flickers across the room and lands on Sehun, and the dots connect in his head. “So that’s your owner, huh?” He doesn’t seem very impressed.

“That’s one of them,” Joonmyun says proudly, and his littermate’s brow arches even higher. “They look after me and feed me and they help me through my heat cycles when they can. They’re the best and I really love them.” He blushes a little.

“That’s good for you, but if you came to rub that in my face then I’ll tell you now that I don’t need to hear any more.” His littermate resumes packing, moving to pick up a pile of clothes off the floor.

Joonmyun stops him with a hand on his shoulder. There is a small part of him that’s sad that his littermates haven’t changed much towards him even after all this time, but he honestly hadn’t expected much more than a simple acknowledgement.

“You know,” he starts, “I just thought that I should tell you that I’m–”

“–Happy for you,” Sehun says, watching Joonmyun give the other catboy a quick hug. He’s warm inside, glad that Joonmyun has learnt not to harbour bad feelings towards others despite the things they’ve done. He folds his arms, a pleased smile tugging at the corner of his mouth as Mrs. Park watches along with him. “After we adopted Joonmyun I asked him what he thought about his littermates,” he continues, “and that was his answer. He told me he wanted them to know he was happy that everybody had a home, because loneliness just wasn’t something he would wish on anyone.”  

what the hell i just gave myself feels goodbye i am leaving this planet