All of MBLAQ, along with the managers and Aira went to a sushi place downtown because Joon insisted that he wants sushi and sushi only. Finding a table wasn't that hard past the dinner rush and they made their way towards a big wooden table at the far corner of the restaurant, nodding to some people who happened to recognized them as they did. The menu came, food and drinks were ordered, and now all attention was back to the new addition of the group.

Aira.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the very end of the table, a seat she chosed so that she could be overlooked by everyone. She had hoped that they won't even remember that she was there, but she was wrong. She noticed how everyone looked at each other waiting for someone to speak to her first. She thought about going to the bathroom until the food was served, but then again, using that excuse to people she barely knew was.. embarassing. 

What does people usually do at this kind of situation?

"You're okay?" Seungho said softly from besides her, in which she answered with a weak nod. Please say something, anyone..

"So, Aira-ssi, do you like sushi?" Byunghee asked from across her seat, he couldn't bear the silence anymore, so he might as well threw a random question.

"Eh?" She got lost for a moment but finally asnwered in a hurry, "Yes, I like sushi."

"What kind of sushi?" It was Joon's turn to ask, smiling widely.

"Any kind of..sushi.." Aira answered again slowly, not really sure where the conversation was going.

"Eeeyyy, there must be something that you like best. What is it?" Mir jumped in the conversation with a cheery tone.

The question seemed to open the chance for everyone to ease their awkwardness, questions that was started with random and pointless things like what drink she likes, what desert that she wanted, etc, turned into a proper chat between them. Fortunately for her, no one asked personal things and if there's someone who asked about her relation with Seungho, the leader was there to answer for her.

By the time the food arrived, the focus wasn't on her anymore. It was Joon's birthday afterall, and he was smiling ear to ear when Byungki went out after he finished his food and came back with a big birthday cake for him. Everyone congratulated him once again and said their wishes for him while Aira sat there unsure of what to feel.

She realized once again that she was just a stranger between these people. Seungho might spent some time with her, but that doesn't mean that she was in his life. No, I was just a stranger he happened to met and he felt pity of me. What am I doing here, at stranger's birthday celebration?

She felt out of place. She knew it was a wrong decision for her to agree to go out of her apartment today. She was fine being alone.. but she honestly thought that it might do good for her to meet someone. Anyone. And she was thankful that Seungho asked her to come.

But.. she started to regret it. What did she expect? She's alone, and that's the fact for almost all her life.

No one ever cared for her, no one ever stayed with her, no one ev–

"Aira-ssi, you don't have any wish for me? Ahh... I feel hurt." Joon suddenly faked a cry from across the table.

"Me?" She looked up in wide eyes, flustered over the sudden attention.

"Of course you, noona! Come on, wish him something for his birthday before he whines like a kid." Mir literally jumped from his seat and pulled Aira towards the birthday boy, who was now having his eyes wide in expectation.

"Eh..ehhmm.. I wish that you.. win the next arm-wrestle with Cheondoong!" She finally said, couldn't really think of anything else.

She regreted it the moment Joon's face turned sour but then everyone else roared with laughter. She felt a tap on her shoulder and when she turned around she saw Byungki giggling like no tomorrow, "Hahahaha, good one! Seriously, you're good!"

"Yah! How did you know about that?" Joon's face redened in embarassment then he shouted at Seungho, "You told her, didn't you? Aish.. my image.."

"I'm sorry.." She mumbled but when Joon broke out in a laugh too, she found her lips slowly perked up into a smile.

A genuine one.

♦ ♦ ♦

The dinner continued with two full hours of karaoke, in which Aira couldn't say no to when Mir dragged her along earlier. All the awkwardness was gone and everyone treated her like friends already. Seungho smiled inwardly when he saw Aira was forced to sang along with the happy couple, Joon and Mir. Although she didn't do what they told her to do and just clapped along with them, she was smiling.

Seeing her like this made him feel proud, he knew it was a right decision to bring her to join them.

He rested his back on the karaoke room's big sofa, drinking his cola. Byunghee handed him a beer but he just shook his head, he had to drive Aira back home later. 

"She's finally smiling." Byunghee said as he sat besides him.

"I have to thank you guys for that.." 

"Aish, don't mention it. So, how did you convince her to go?"

"I didn't." Seungho said and glanced at her direction once again, "I think she also realized that she needs it."

Byunghee nodded then he asked something that he's been wanting to know all along, "Did you..did you ask her what happened?" He said with hesitation.

Seungho stayed silent for a while. He knew what his friend meant, and he was also curious about her story. How did she get that far.. how did she almost give up on her life. Unfortunately, he never get the chance to ask, or rather, he was afraid to ask.

"No.."

"Well, I guess it's not an easy thing to bring up, is it?"

"Yeah.. I think I'll just wait until she's ready."

"Do you mean you're going to continue this thing with her?"

"What thing?"

"This.. you stalking her."

"Hahaha, I am not stalking her, okay?" Seungho chuckled when he saw Byunghee frowned, "What? If you were me, do you think you could just pretend you don't know?"

"Arasso..you do what you got to do. Man, you're crazy.."

"Whatever you say.." Seungho shrugged and tried to change the topic, and he was lucky because then a new song started from the karaoke machine, "Oh, look, my song, let me sing this one!"

♦ ♦ ♦

They finished at about midnight, the guys were all coming back to the dorm with their manager and Seungho took Aira with his car. As opposite of what Seungho expected, all the smiles from Aira's face disappeared the moment she's alone with him in the car. Making sure that she put on her seatbelt already, Seungho started the engine and got into the empty street lane. He glanced at her direction and saw her fidgeting with her finger.

"Why do you always being cold with me?" He sighed. She turned her head to Seungho but immediately look out the window. When he realized she won't answer him, he continued "You hate me or something?"

"It's not that.." She muttered.

"Then why? You were fine being around the guys."

"I just... don't know what to say to you." She finally answered, and it was the truth. Seungho saw her on her weakest moment, and she felt embarrased about it. It feels like whatever she does, Seungho would saw through it and she's scared..

She knew she's being cold but she couldn't fake a smile around him or pretend that she's okay. Because she's not and she knew that Seungho knew that.

"And why is that?" He turned the wheel towards her apartment direction when they pass the crossroad. The silence filled his car as Aira took time to answer his question.

"After... that, what is possibly can I say to you?" She whispered.

"That? What do you me– ahh..  You mean the day when you almost killed yourself?" He asked with a sharp tone. Seungho never expected to be ticked off like this, he always tried to understand her and why she did what she did. But now, when she laid the topic on his lap, it suddenly made him frustated. 

He knew he said he would wait until she's ready. But he wanted to care for her, he wanted to know about her. He hated how she made it so difficult for him to do that by not say anything to him. If he had to make her angry first, then so be it. Aira turned her head in disbelief upon Seungho's words. She never expected him to say it out loud.

"What? You hate to hear it?" He continued, knowing that he poked her on the right place. 

Aira could feel her tears welling up, she hates being weak in front of people, especially him. She always maintained a good distance with people so that she didn't have to show them her true emotions, but Seungho made it hard to do so. These last few weeks he was always be there with her, making her wanting more and more to talked to him and share with him her feelings, and now he was pushing her to break her wall.

"I don't want to talk about it.." She pleaded him, almost crying.

"Then tell me!"

"Tell you what?"

"Why did you do that? WHY DID YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF?!" He shouted, couldn't hold in the frustration anymore.

"BECAUSE I WANT TO, OKAY!? I WANT TO DIE. I'M TIRED OF BEING LONELY. I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO END AND DISAPPEARED!! AND WHY DO YOU CARE ANYWAY?"

Seungho pulled over and stopped his car at the side of the street. He sighed at the sight of her sobbing on the passanger seat. He felt relieved and sad at the same time, he found himself care about her more than he should be. It broke his heart to hear that she wanted to die. The girl besides him was desperately reaching for help all through her life and he's the only one who could see that. He let her cry until she finally stopped without even bother to say a thing, he knew she needs it.

She needs to face her own emotions.

After a long silence, he started "I'm sorry.." He said, wiping her tears from her cheek. She said nothing so he continued, "I just want you to open yourself. Please, Aira, can you just share your pain with me?"

"Why?" She asked in a hoarsed voice.

"Because I care. I know I shouldn't, but I do. Tell me everything.."

Looking up at his brown orbs that was filled with warmth, she knew he was sincere. Unlike everybody else, he wouldn't leave her. And when she started to talk to him, she couldn't stop.

She told him everything. About her parents, about how she survived the years when she have no one, about how she feels like she doesn't belong and questions herself time after time whether she's living another person's life, about how empty and numb she felt during the last couple of years, and about how she finally decided to end everything. It's not like Aira to open up herself and tell someone about her feeling, but right now she didn't care. She wanted to do this for so long, and now that her wall is broken, she found herself talking without hesitation before she could stop it.

Seungho never expected to hear that kind of story from Aira. From outside, she's just like every other girl, who would have known that she hides that much pains in herself. Seungho couldn't imagine how lonely she must felt to think about suicide. He's here now, and he would make sure she never goes through the same pain ever again.

"Aira..you don't have to be alone anymore." He lifted up her chin to make her look at him, "I'll always be here with you now, and the rest of MBLAQ for that matter.."

"We're not even friends, you realize that right?" She said bitterly.

"Why can't we? I basically stalk you for almost a month now, and you met the guys, there's no way you could get away from us."

"But..."

"But what, hm?" He asked softly.

She got nothing to say because she realized that he was right, but the idea of 'friend' was overwhelming. She had friends, but not to the point that she shared her life with them. Having someone called himself a 'friend' and asked her to share her feelings was scary for her.

"You said nothing, so that means we're friends." Seungho smiled at her and started the car, "Now, let's get you home."