Finally I found my courage to finish my sentence.

 

"I'm gay."

 

I could feel Peniel's shock. I don't blame him, I did just put it out there. I sighed and closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the wall.

 

I didn't want to be here anymore. I wanted to go back to Minhyuk's apartment and curl up into a ball on the couch. I just want to hide from the world, from Peniel in this moment.

 

I felt a hand pat my shoulder and a voice followed. "Don't be ashamed, Sungjae. You're still the same to me."

 

I snapped my eyes open and looked at Peniel disbelievingly. How can he be some accepting of someone he barely knows, I thought.

 

Peniel smiled gently at me, still patting my shoulder reassuringly.

 

"It doesn't bother you?," I asked, stunned.

 

He shook his head. "Not one bit, Sungjae. You are still you despite what gender you like."

 

I felt my body relax and my heart take off at his kind words. The only person who had ever accepted me like Peniel just did was Minhyuk, but he himself understood me because he is gay too.

 

"If I tell you something, will you judge me?," Peniel asked cautiously.

 

"Of course not."

 

I could tell he was hesitant but still, he continued. "I'm biual... And I have had a boyfriend before..."

 

Once he said it, I felt a mental slap in the face. How the hell did I not know any of that before?!? Who was his boyfriend? When did they break up? Or are they still together? Have the had se- oh no no no no no!! Don't think about it, Sungjae!! Don't think abou-

 

"So? Are you... okay?," Peniel asked, saving me from my brutal and forever wandering thoughts.

 

Just as I was about to say something a man came out from the back door. "Ah, there you are Peniel! You go on in five!! Hurry and get to the stage!"

 

Peniel sighed and looked at me apologetically. "Sorry, I have to go. Do me a favor and stay in where I can see you in the crowd? Oh and wait for me by the bar afterwards, I'll hurry!" And with that he slipped back inside, leaving me in outside on the dark.

 

I took a deep breath then headed back in, not fully ready to face the crowd that awaited.

*      *      *

We were back at the same cafe from last week, in the exact same spot. The only difference is neither of us said a word to each other since before the show started. Even when we met up after all he did was smile and pull me towards the door, leading me to this place like last week.

 

"So... How did you like the show?," Peniel asked breaking our silence.

 

"I loved it, as always. You sang another new song this week... It was really good."

 

"Well thank you, I worked hard on that one. I was actually really excited to play it tonight and I'm glad I got such positive feedback from it. It's always nice when the fans genuinely appreciate the music," Peniel exclaimed. He appeared genuine when he said this and his words were full of happiness.

 

The waitress came by with our drinks, the same as last week, and left as quickly as she came. I looked down and started to stir my latte when I felt Peniel's gaze on me.

 

Sure enough, when I looked up his eyes were on me and a small smile was on his face.

 

"Sungjae, you never answered me earlier," he said quietly. There was a hint of begging in his voice, like he really wanted to know how I felt. Who am I to judge him?

 

"You said it best earlier, you are still you no matter what gender you like... Even if it's both. Why would I judge you for that?"

 

Peniel looked slightly relieved at my answer. He took a sip of his drink then looked back up at me. A question lingered in his eyes, burning curiosity through me.

 

"Sungjae?," Peniel finally said.

 

"Yes?"

 

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

 

The second he asked that I felt my body freeze. I did have a boyfriend once before, but it was a short and meaningless relationship, if you can even call it that. And I really didn't want to explain that to him, at least not yet.

 

I met his gaze and answered honestly. "Yes but it was short and meaningless, I'd much rather not talk about it."

 

He nodded his head and promptly took another sip. "I understand. My last relationship was the same: short and meaningless. But it helped me realize that it's okay to find guys and girls both attractive."

 

The conversation wasn't uncomfortable but it was a bit hard to hear about past relationships my crush was in. Nobody wants to hear that.

 

"He was good to me, but he wasn't what I was looking for," Peniel added.

 

"And what are you looking for?," I asked curiously.

 

He smirked at me with a twinkle in his eye. "A gentle person I can love unconditionally."

 

I nearly choked on my latte and sprayed it everywhere but luckily I swallowed before that could happen. Butterflies broke free in my stomach and fluttered like crazy. Maybe Minhyuk wasn't lying about Peniel... But still, there's not a very good chance that he likes me.

 

"Well, uh, I think most people want someone they can love..."

 

"Yes but I like gentle people, calm people. I want someone who can be themselves and be honest with me. No person I've ever dated as been fully honest with me and that hurts. It's hurts because I was honest with them but they couldn't return the favor."

 

He had a sad smile on his face and that tore me up inside. What he said really hit my emotions. Yeah, I was jealous of the girls he dated but knowing now that they weren't ever real with them makes me realize it was silly to be jealous over nothing. To know that Peniel just wants someone to love makes me realize there's a lot more to him than I know.

 

"You're the first person I've ever told about my uality. Well, besides Minhyuk," I said.

 

His smile turned from sad to happy when I admitted that to him. Then it grew a little more as the words hung between us, like he was absorbing what I said slowly.

 

"You really do trust me then?," he asked.

 

"Yeah... I guess I do. No, I do. You haven't given me any reason not to and you've been a good person to me despite only knowing me a short time," I admitted. He bit his bottom lip slightly and I saw thoughts cross his mind.

 

"You're a good person too, Sungjae," he finally said. I looked back down at my almost empty cup trying to hide my flushed cheeks.

 

I felt my phone buzz in my pocket. I pulled it out to find a text from Minhyuk.

 

From: Minhyukkie-

 

I won't be home tonight, sorry Jae Jae. Please be careful and lock the door tight before you go to bed! Sleep in my bed tonight! I'll be home before 10 tomorrow then we can spend the day together.

I love you Baby Jae <3 <3

 

I was happy to see that Minhyuk was having a good time with his date but a bit disappointed about having to stay in his apartment by myself. It was always quiet without him around and boring.

 

To: Minhyukkie-

 

It's okay, you go have fun with your date! I will definitely be sleeping in your bed and the doors will be locked tight, don't worry. Yay!! Let's do something fun tomorrow!

I love you too Minhyukkie!! <3

 

I put my phone back away and looked back up to Peniel who had a questioning look on his face.

 

"It was just Mi- my friend that I stay with. He said he not to wait up for him," I informed him. He knitted his eyebrows together and a worried look crept onto his face.

 

"Are you going to be home alone all night?"

 

I gulped and panicked a bit. "Yes..." I said slowly.

 

"Are you going to be safe by yourself?"

 

"Yeah, I will. I was okay last time. It's not that bad, just quiet."

 

Peniel finished what was left of his drink then stood up quickly.

 

"I'll walk you home," he offered.

 

"Oh, it's fine, you don't have to."

 

"I want to. You know, just to make sure you're safe," he explained.

 

I really should've said no for the fact that it was Minhyuk's apartment and Peniel doesn't know about Minhyuk's living condition, but still I couldn't resist the man's offer.

 

"Okay," I said and stood up too, following him towards the front door.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

---------------

A/N: I wish I had a gentleman like Peniel in my life .-.

 

Who would have ever guessed that he was bi? ahh I love this couple, they play cat-and-mouse so well!

Happy Halloween my lovelies!!!!!