CHAPTER 20

Guilt.

The guilt of taking away an innocent woman's first kiss and the guilt of almost taking away so much more. Her innocence. Her purity. Her ity.

Hana undid her seat belt and got out of the car, walking to the front where Kris was leaning against the front of the car. He had been out there for a few minutes now and he hasn't spoken a word to her since he stopped the car on the sid eof the road, by a cliff, facing the sleeping city of Seoul. Hana closed the door; she hugged herself as the wind blew.

“S-Sir?” she nervously calls out to him. Sigh. “Do you want to go home, now?” Kris asked her.

She falls quiet for a moment. She wondered if he was upset or disappointed or something; Kris kept looking out into the view. Hana walked over to him; she stood just beside him, leaving a fair distance between them both. “Do you want to talk?”

Kris ran a hand through his hair and sighed, his brows knitted together.

“Why are you like that?” he asks her in a frustrated tone. Hana wraps her arms around herself, rubbing the sides of her arm to keep herself warm. She looks down on the ground. “I don't regret anything... sir”

Kris's expression softened. He turned to her and noticed how she was hugging herself. He pushed himself off of the car and took off his jacket before putting it around her shoulders. Surprised by the gesture, Hana's face flusters. “T-thanks” she mumbles.

He pockets his hands and leans on the car once again. He keeps his eyes on the view before them.

“What are you doing to me?” he questions.

Hana was quiet. She didn't know what to say, what to answer him. How to answer him. They both stood in the silence of the night, cold wind breezing by.

“Mr. Wu...” Hana breaks the silence “Am I confusing you?”

Kris breathes in and out quietly “So much...”

“Do you feel bad about it?”

He didn't answer. Hana turns to look at him “What do you want to do now?” she asks. Kris looked up to the starless sky; Mom... what now? He questions. “Kris?”

His heart skips a beat and his spine tingles. For some reason, the way she said his name made him feel... weird.

“I don't like changing... Hana” he coldly looks at the city. Hana gives him a small smile “Then I'll walk away”

Hana.

Even if it hurts. I'll forget.

I watched the empty billboard where the picture of someone whom I always looked up to used to be at. Funny how it got taken down during this time when I'm trying to forget everything that happened between us both at the party. But maybe... this is just fate's way of telling me that I really should forget about it all.

Is it possible though? I ask myself as I continue to stare at the white sheet of canvas. Is it possible to forget a moment in your life that you want to cherish? To treasure? A drop falls on my hand and I realize, I was crying.

Why does it hurt so much? Is it because he had let me walk away? Because he didn't stop me like those main characters on romantic movies? How is it possible for someone to feel this much... pain over matters that make no sense? My face falls and I shut my eyes to squeeze the tears out of them in hopes that the drops would carry with them the hurt I was feeling. My chest felt like it was being stepped on.

But maybe sometimes... no matter how much we swear to ourselves that we won't fall, we still end up falling because like change... it's inevitable.

It's my fault. Yes it is. I had let Kris Wu hurt me not once, not twice but thrice.

He hurt me when he told Xiumin that I was just his PA.

He hurt me when he told me to stop ing him over even though I don't know what I was doing wrong.

And he hurt me when he had let me walk away.

All these, they shouldn't bother me, right? But you know what... they do because I've fallen. Deep and hard and the sad thing is... no one broke my fall. I ended up breaking my own self.

Suicide.

I wiped my tears away; I looked up to the dark and starless evening sky. I'll forget about it. Even if it's hard... even if it hurts, I will.

My hair was frizzy, my clothes were all crumpled up, I was not presentable and it is the sole reason why I want to reach my office as soon as possible. I was tired; I had pulled an all-nighter last night just so Wu Enterprise would have something to present on a meeting that would be happening today with the new investors.

“Coffee?” someone handed me a cup which I took without thought. It was only when I had taken a sip that I had come to my senses; I shot my head to the side and saw Kai, he chuckled and smiled at me, sipping on his own cup. “K-Kai! Omo, thank you”

The elevator doors opened and we both stepped in.

“How was the party?” he asked; I fluster after remembering some highlights of the evening. Rather private. “It ended well” I smiled. Kai chuckled “Ofcourse, it was you that planned it after all” a light laugh escaped my lips. But not even a few seconds later, I felt as if something was squashing my heart inside my chest. It hurts.

Ding. The elevator doors opened at the 29th floor and we were greeted by Kyungsoo and Xiumin. I immediately smile and greet the two of them as they got on the lift. “I was just on my way to see you” Kyungsoo said.

“What about you, Baozi?” Kai asks, referring to Xiumin. Xiumin gives a tired sigh and holds up a folder in his hand “Kris?” Kai asks and Xiumin nods. I felt like I was suffocating at the sound of the name. When the doors opened for my floor, I quickly got out with Kyungsoo following close behind. I gathered myself when we had entered my office; Kyungsoo took his seat as I also did.

“What did you want to see me about?” I ask him, putting some folders inside my desk drawers.

“I just wanted to ask how everything went with you and Kris” Kyungsoo... I pause for a moment to look at him; he was smiling at me. I look away. Please don't, Kyungsoo. “It was fine, he took me home” I returned the curved gesture. “Anything else, Kyungsoo-ssi?” Kyungsoo looks at me, examining my face in a way that seemed like he was putting puzzle pieces together. I smiled at him “Kyungsoo?”

“Hana, what happened?” he questions me, quite in an intimidating manner. It's like, if I lied, he would know. Gulp. “Did he hurt you?”

“Who?” I ask even though I know the answer very well. “Hana...” he gives a warning tone.

I look away from his gaze, tears began to gather in my eyes but I tried my best to suppress them because I was not going to allow myself to cry. Not here. Not infront of Kyungsoo. I force a smile and look at Kyungsoo once again then laughed “Aigo! Stop worrying about me, Kyungsoo-ssi! I'm fine, really I am! It's nothing I can't handle”

Pathetic. I've never felt so... broken.

Kyungsoo got up from his chair and let out a sigh. He cast me a small and gentle smile “You're right...” he says. I am? “It's nothing you can't handle but Hana...” What? I blink my eyes “The things you can't handle, someone else can; that person is the person you need in your life... someone who can fill up the gaps”

Kyungsoo turned around and I sat there, glued to my seat with my face looking like I was in a daze. As he had opened the door, he turned to look at me over his shoulders. He smiled brightly “By the way, I'm glad that dress fit you. I was worried that it wouldn't since the mannequin looked too skinny”

What the... my eyes widen.

Wear this tonight. Don't argue.

- K.

Kyungsoo... Kyungsoo! Gasp.

Kyungsoo chuckles and I shoot up to my feet, I bowed at him in great thanks “Kamsahamnida!” He looks at me with a playful stare “You're always welcome, Hana-ssi”

He exits and the door closes behind him. So, it wasn't Kai. Hm. But why would Kyungsoo do such a thing?

Kris.

Click. Click. Click. I continuously pressed on the pen in my hand, staring at the unsigned papers on my desk, trying to register on my mind every word that was printed on it before signing but for some strange reason, something kept tapping me on my shoulder, keeping me from concentrating. Grr.

“Then I'll walk away”

Goddamn it. What the hell is wrong with me?! I should've stopped her. But I don't want to change, I don't want to keep feeling frustrated. But I'm still frustrated as . Hana is confusing and frustrating me to the extent that I can't keep concentrating on my work. I want to fire her, kick her out of this company so that I wouldn't have to deal with any of these stupid feelings of mine but then if I do that, I think I might go ing crazy.

I can't let her go. I just can't.

“Kris? It's Kyungsoo” I was cut off my thoughts and I mumbled for him to come inside. He came in with a blank look on his face as he surged forward and stopped just a foot away from my desk. “What do you want?” I ask him, as cold and as blunt as I possibly could. As normal as I could.

He gave me a sigh “Did you hurt Hana?” What? A sarcastic look gets plastered on my face “What kind of question is that?”

Kyungso's brows narrowed; Hn. “Why would I hurt her?”

“I'm not sure... but I know you're one of the reasons why her eyes look like they've been crying all night last night”

I swallowed hard at Kyungsoo's words. She cried? Why the hell would she cry? I let out a sigh and put down my pen on the table before looking back up at him “How so?” Kyungsoo smirks sarcastically at me. “Come on Kris, are you that dense or are you just keeping yourself from falling for that girl?” I frown at him “I never fall for any girl, Kyungsoo and you fuc ---”

“Then why else would you ask me to buy a dress for her? You never do that for just anyone... like Suho said, you never do anything without reason, so if it's not falling for her then what the hell was the reason you demanded for me to look for the best dress for her?” Sigh. Do you know what I hate the most?

It's me... being unable to speak out a reasonable set of words. I gathered my thoughts for a moment then spoke.

“I didn't want to be humiliated at such a prestige party because knowing Ms. Kim, she can't afford dresses fit for that party” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes at me answer. Shut the up with the questions already!

“So she makes you want to spend money on her; you wanted to show her off at the party, right? But then she came with Kai as her date” I want to throw you out of the window right now, Kyungsoo. You are ing pressing my button. I was about to speak when he suddenly turned around on his heel and headed for the door. “You know, if I were you, I would stop being such a stubborn little and just admit it before I lose her to someone else... and I know how much you hate losing.” he opens the door and steps out, making sure to slam it shut.

My hands clenched into fists. Damn it, Kris. You've been ed over by a girl.

LOL, that is me poking you some feels and you stabbing me because the update is an hour late XD

Sorry for the cliffhangers but I'll be publishing two more updates today to make it up to you :) but first lemme take a nice bath and type the two chapters out. Kekeke, you all paid twice as much as the ransom eh? I'll be nice today and won't ask for some :)

Thanks for all the new subscribers and the comments! Thanks to cocopuffys, Suju13215, and krisbabe for the upvotes!

Kamsahamnida! <3