I recommend to play the song at the very start of every chapter.

I hope it is up to your expectation

“Hyuna-yah, ireona.”

I felt my body being moved by someone. He was shaking my body and I assumed to wake me up. I wanted to wake up but I couldn’t even open my eyes. The heat. Somehow I feel some kind of heat is slowly growing inside. It was like a fire, something was burning inside of but yet again I felt somewhat cold outside. My body was freezing because the wet clothes I’m wearing. The wooden floor’s coldness is slowly creeping into my body. My eyes were so heavy.

“Hyuna?” The worried tone suddenly appeared in his tone. He was confused. I could feel he was checking me as his hand was on my forehead.  A quiet gasped came out from him.

---

“Yah, Jin Taek hyung!” That voice was yelling out loud causing her to move a bit.

“Wae Jiyong-ah?” Another familiar voice slipped into his ears

“Hyuna is hot!!”

“Mwo? What do you mean by that?”  His face was annoyed by his junior remark of Hyuna.

“Ani.. ani.. It’s not what you think. She’s like burning hot!!!” He quickly explained to escape from Jin Taek’s Glare.

---

“Mworago?” I could feel a hand on my forehead and my neck. It felt like he was checking something.

“Yah, Jiyong-ah! Get the car ready!!” His worried voice scared me.

I was lifted up carefully. The breeze from the wind, I could felt it gently touching my skin. The light from the morning light was trying to pierce through my eyelids. I was reaching for the light too but it seems that it’s getting further and further than it’s supposed to be. I think I’m crazy from feeling the anxiety creeping slowly and gripping my neck. What is this choked feeling? I found myself panting hardly in my unconsciousness.

I am going crazy.

I couldn’t hear anything anymore. I fell into a deep hole where there was a big giant labyrinth with no end in it. I was walking through the rain like the last time I remembered I was doing. The rain was cold and harsh. It was the same feeling that I had this morning. Looking onto my sides where nobody wouldn’t take any care for me for my very normal black raven hair. I felt normal despite having myself walking around in the same path all alone. I took my chance turning left in the crossroad that existed in this giant labyrinth; only to found a TV playing a movie of a so called fairy-tale love story. The boy’s face weirdly resembles Junhyung oppa and the girl resembles I truly know but I just couldn’t remember her name. She was tiny and thin with two big doe-eyes. They were caressing each other. The word “love” scattered in everything they do. They were caressing each other. I felt pain in my chest.  

I pulled myself back to that crossroad trying to forget the images of them caressing each other. Tears were building up slowly in my eyes as I looked back at the same crossroad to decide which path that I should choose. I choose to walk forward to the path that was once my right side path. It was the broadcasting station where I assumed was packed because the music show schedule. I walked myself along the corridor trying to find my dressing room. There was none. I was not needed there. I could feel the pity and disgusted looked from the others as I dragged myself in that corridor. I couldn’t find the way out. I kept on walking only to find another corridor with more people in it. I recognized some of them and yes, I knew some of them quite well.  They were whispering, and it was loud enough for me to hear.

“She got dumped.”

“She’s not worth it for him.”

“Poor her.”

“If I was her, I’d kill myself.”

“He just doesn’t love her from the start.”

“What it is to love from her?”

What it is to love from me? Is there none? We were happy that time. He did love me. He would text me and calls me. He would even sit there alone in the corner of the studio just to wait me finish practice. He would talk to me at night to help me sleep because he knew how much I love his deep voice. He would hug me tight when we were to be apart for quite some time. He would brushes away strains of my hair that fell onto face. He would glance at me once in while when we’re on an event together. He would kiss me, just to let me know that he loves me so much.

He would always be there for me.

Wouldn’t he?

“Unnie! Gwaenchanha?”

Sohyun?

I could hear her voice but it is so hard for me to open my eyes. My hands tried to grab something to help me wake up but I couldn’t reach anything.

“Unnie, let me help you?”

I could feel a hand helping to get up on my bed. The dizziness struck my head like thunder, making it harder to wake up. Like everyone who’s sick, I had to try several times before I could open my eyes properly. When I opened my eyes I could feel the motion my pupils made to adapt with the light around me. It hurts so bad that my eyes were teary. There were 4 people looking at me with worried eyes. No, make that six. Jin-taek oppa and Jinyong oppa was looking at me with such worried look.

“Unnie nan gwaenchanha?” Sohyun was looking at me with her worried eyes. I was very tired and so I just gave her a weak smile while patting her head.

“Nan…” the sound of the door opening caught my attention, he came, “gwaenchanha.”

Junhyung oppa came.

No, of course he’s not alone.

I wish there was an awkward silence that usually happened in this kind of situation but it didn’t happened. It was the opposite of what I have expected.

“Oh, BEAST is here!”

The sight of my lovable 4minute and BEAST together would never be a calm one. Gayoon unnie being teased by Doojoon oppa and Yoseob oppa. Jihyun unnie who would always look from afar with her motherly gaze. Sohyun and Dongwoon oppa having the adorable moment. Hyunseung oppa in his 4D perspective trying to understand whats happening around him. Gikwang oppa who is missing because of his busy schedule. And then there is me and Junhyung oppa.

I’m glad that I was too tired to cry. I didn’t have to pretend being bubbly happy because no one is happy being sick. As I did want to talk to him, I tried to make myself busy by searching my phone. I looked around my bed and the desk.  I looked up to ask my manager oppa on my phone whereabouts but he was busy chatting with BEAST oppas’s manager. I let out a sigh out of desperation.

“Here.”

I turned myself to the voice. It was Junhyung oppa’s voice. He was holding my phone in his hand. I grabbed the phone quickly but gently and unlocked it. There was no message nor missed calls. There were some twitter notifications though, all from my lovable Hyunaholics. I didn’t bother to read it yet and decide to put the phone away. I noticed that someone was watching and I realized that I didn’t thank him yet.

“Gomawo. Op..pa.” 

For God’s sake, why did I have to stutter on that Oppa word.

“Oh… ani, gwaenchanha.” From the corner of my eyes, I could see him smile a bit while putting his hand behind his neck.

If I said that I wanted that awkward slient before, I'm getting that right now. I didn't know whether to talk to him or not because he was just standing beside my bed since him and BEAST oppas came. I just kept silent as I tried to make myself busy hearing Sohyun and Dongwoon telling jokes to everybody. 

“Hyuna…yah. Nan gwaenchanha?”

 I looked up to him. The mixed feelings of confused, happy, and awkwardness was erupting in my head. I didn’t know how to express myself on answering that question. Should I just be happy or indifferent? I didn’t want to sound desperate and the way he looked at me with such concerned eyes didn’t help much.

“Mani appeo?”

Yes, because I missed you. “Ani oppa. Nan chigeum gwaenchanha.”

“Ah, geurae. I guess I don’t have to worry anymore.” He gave me a little smile.

Please, Jebal, stop giving me little smiles that you used to give to me. Just stop showing concerns. I wanted to scream that out loud to him but I just can’t.

“Why do you have to worry about me?” I mumbled to myself.

“It’s because I..”

I looked at him, surprised, at his voice answering to me.

“Hyuna, it’s because I..” His eyes were strangely locked to me.

“Hyuna, whose jacket is this?” Jihyun came to me with an unfamiliar jacket in her hands,”is it yours?”

I was surprised at the thought of him hearing the words that I’m mumbled to myself. I was not anticipating his answer but a glimpse of him saying ‘because’ caught me by surprise. I just wish onnie didn’t come. I tried to hide my disappointment as I answer her question.

“Ani. I have never seen that jacket before. Waeyo unnie?”

“Chincha?  I found it on you when we found you in the studio.” said Jintaek oppa, “I thought it was yours.”

“Chincha oppa? Can I see it first?” Jihyun onnie gave the jacket to me and I slowly examined it. It seemed so familiar on a second look. There was a hand-drawn star sign drawn near collar. I think I’ve seen it before.

Click! Something just snapped inside my head. The feeling of knowing something all of a sudden just came to me. I knew whose jacket it was. How could I forget?

“Is it yours Hyuna-yah?” Jihyun onnie curiously asked.

“Mmm, It’s… “

The sound of a phone ringing caught my attention and I looked at the owner.

 “Yeoboseyo? Oh Hara-yah. Ani. I’m not busy.” He was talking in such delicate voice, as if he didn’t want anyone to listen ”Oh, Arasso. Jamkkan.”

He just went out without saying anything.

It was like a déjà vu, you know? Like a broken scroll of movie that kept on replaying like there is no one. It was like the corridors in my dream. The view of his back walking away from me was torturing. He didn’t say goodbye again. If only that phone call didn’t come, we might have a decent conversation after all of time. That familiar warm feeling that we had for a second just now, it’s gone.

“Hyuna?” I turned at the sound of Jihyun onnie calling me.

“Oh, mian onnie.” I smiled at her

I glanced back at the view of him, a second before the door closed. Unconsciously, I hold the jacket closer to me. I answered Jihyun onnie,

“It’s mine.”

Oppa, naman pabwa.

“Jihyun, come.” Jintaek oppa called me to talk outside the room.

I walked behind him quietly so the girls and BEAST won’t notice that I’m out for a while. Well, they won’t notice since all of them are having such fun together. I almost forgot that we’re in the hospital if I didn’t see Hyuna laughing on a hospital bed. I gently closed the door and tried to make the tiniest sound from it.

“Waeguresseyo oppa?” I was confused of Jintaek oppa’s action, he rarely talk to me alone and if he does there is something wrong.

“Jihyun-ah, did Hyuna have any family problems? Or have a fight with the girls?” His worried tone was different. It was not his usual tone. I knew him to well.

“Ani oppa. She haven’t told anything and she didn’t have any fight with us.”

He was about to ask me something else but he held himself back like there was some restraining order or such.

“Oh, arasso. You can go back now. Kumao Jihyun-ah.”

“But oppa.” I turned my back again after a few steps.

“Oh wae Jihyun-ah?”

“Ani.” I shook my head,“I’m going in first then, oppa.”

I bit my lip as I walked myself back through the corridor. Something is wrong and I have been sensing it for quite a few days. Hyuna, I know you’re hiding something. That jacket is not yours or that smile that you have been faking for quite a few days. I couldn’t let you suffer alone and just stand still watching you get sick like this. As a 4minute’s leader, ani, as you onnie, I think it is my time to take care of you. 

2133 words

Oppa, Naman Pabwa: Oppa, look at me

Hello there. sorry for not updating for so long.  

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I've put some details in here that much of you won't notice yet until the next chapter. hehehe 

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