I recommend to play the song at the very start of every chapter.

I hope it is up to your expectation

Mr. Hong called me into the office that day. I was very curious because I didn’t remember doing anything wrong. Maybe I was just too nervous as my mind trying to remember if I have been doing any wrong these past days. I took a step into the CUBE Building and got myself in front of the receptionist.

“Unnie, Mr. Hong said he wanted to meet me. Is he in?”

“Oh, Hyuna-yah. Yes, he has been waiting for you. Just come right up into his office. Don’t forget to knock.”

“Arasso, our beautiful unnie.” I said to her while giving a bright smile, “Kumao unnie.”

I took my time to walk into Mr. Hong’s office. My heart went easy for a bit, unnie usually told me when Mr. Hong is in a bad mood and told me to be careful. Seeing unnie is so happy, I guessed that Mr. Hong must be happy to. I walked with light steps while humming my newest song “Bubble Pop” which is soon to come out. Then, it strikes me, could it be that Mr. Hong would talk something about the album? I could feel the adrenaline pumping up inside of me. I couldn’t help myself but to get excited and smiley all of the sudden. I knocked Mr. Hong office cheerfully and wait for a respond from inside. I took the chance to text Soohyun to release some of this excitement in my chest.

Soohyuuunnn-ah, I think Hong-appa is going to tell me something exciting about the mini album! 0o(>.<)o0 Eoteokke!!! My heart is thumping sooo hard. Ack! I want to scream! ack! ack! >.< So excited deugeun deugeun.. ke ke ke.. =(*v*)=

I typed quite fast because I still didn’t get any response from Mr. Hong. I even got a reply from Soohyun.

Unnie hwaiting! *(^-^)* You have to tell everything when you got back. *dancing for unnie here*

I smiled a bit while reading the reply. I started to wonder what was taking so long. I hesitated for while but I slowly moves my hand to knock again. When I was about to knock, the door suddenly opened. I tilted my head up to see who it was. I just… I….  I didn’t know what to say. I could feel my body stiffened and my breathing stopped for a second there. I didn’t want to meet him. It felt like a nightmare. I took a step inside the office while avoiding his body, trying to make no too obvious. I know it failed miserably as I saw his hurt eyes for a second. I walked myself towards Mr. Hong who was looking at me with a big fatherly smile.

“Oh Hyuna-yah, wasseo?” He stood up and gave me a giant hug, “Come, come, take a sit.”

“Hong appa, waeguroeseyo?” I gave a smile while sitting myself in front of him, “Did I do something wrong?”

“Oh ani ani. Just relax Hyuna-yah. I’ve great news for you.” He flashed me another warm smile while taking a sit too, “Oh Junhyung-ah, come and take a sit too.”

My body stiffened again as I hear his name. I didn’t turn my head to face him; instead I took a deep look at the smiling Hong-appa in front me. I was curious and confused trying to find answer to this sudden event. I could feel the body who was sitting next to me stiffened up to. He was not sitting like he used to. He always sat with the laid back style. He changed and I was not comfortable with that.

“Hyuna-yah, about the mini album track-list. There was a song that I think is not good enough to be put there.” His look suddenly become so serious but his tone was warm.

“Oh, waegureseyo?” I felt anxious all of the sudden as I held both of my hands together; clenching it tight.

“The ballad one. I think it is not strong enough.” Mr. Hong gave me a warm look, “So I decided to ask Junhyung to help you with that. To compose a new song together and I’ll ask Mr. Choi Kyu-sung, the song composer and lyricist, to help you both.”

“Nd..Nde?” I couldn’t help but to be surprised.

“Hahahah, don’t be so surprise Hyuna-yah. I know you have been learning to write song these days.” He laughed at my surprised expression, my face must have been really shocked, ”So wouldn’t it be great to learn from Junhyung. A love song which contains a lot of rap will suit you best, Hyuna-yah.”

“But, isn’t it too sudden.” I gulped as I tried to finish my sentence, “ Jun.. ani.. BEAST oppas are having FICTION promotion too.”

“Junhyung already agreed to this. So don’t worry okay?” He was smiling at him, “Right Junhyung?”

“Nde.” He replied shortly.

His deep voice rang into my head. I could hear his reply screaming inside my head; playing over and over again. I still feel anxious; it was like a fact that I didn’t want to hear. I’m pleading that someone would wake me up from this nightmare. A part of me was mad that he dared to accept this offer, and the other part tried to believe that he did still care for me. The anxiety was slowly chocking me and it was hard for me to breath at that point.

“Ani geunde.” I tried to reason with him again.

“Hahaha, Don’t worry. Don’t worry Hyuna.” Hong-appa said while standing up, “Come on kids, I have to go to a meeting.”

I lost. Out of everyone, I just couldn’t win over Hong-appa. I walked myself out of the office after giving him a hug. I could feel myself being followed by the other figure. I… I still couldn’t bring myself to say his name out loud. Jae.. ani.. Yong Jun.. Ah forget it. It was hard. Every time, I hear his name it would just bring painful memories and regrets. Something that I still couldn’t bear. My days were already hard but why did he come to make it harder.

I started to take a step away from the office and from him. Trying to make myself looked busy, I took my phone and started typing nonsense words. I could feel that my pace was getting faster bit a bit. Someone was following behind me and I wished it wasn’t him, I literally begged inside. That someone’s pace also went faster as my pace went faster too. I didn’t dare to glanced back to see who it was, my feeling was already telling me out loud who it was but I kept on denying it. Out of the blue, I felt a sudden grip on my shoulders, trying to stop me from running away. That second, I knew who it was, my heart sank.

“Hyuna-yah.”

I chocked. It was something that I hope I wouldn’t be hearing today.

I turned myself slowly while clenching my fist tightly. My head was facing down, as I didn’t have enough courage to face him just yet. Why should I do when the tears were trying to come out by that second. I took a deep breath I tilted my head up and my eyes were locked to his. His familiar dark brown orbs stared at me and I could see hesitation in his eyes. It was hurting me more to think that he knew what I feel that moment.

“Waegureseyo, Jae…” I gulped and blinked a few times, trying to pull out the words out of me, “Junhyung oppa?”

“Oo..oh, about the song.” He was scratching his head.

A sign I knew for him being anxious. I knew it to well. I waited for him to continue; trying to take my breath normally one by one. I was trying so hard to look him in the eye; trying to make it all seemed normal and fine.

“Let’s meet the songwriter now. Op..pa,” he paused for a minute, “will have a tight schedule a few days ahead. You know so we can get an idea first.”

Oppa, a word of endearment, and how I missed it so much. He would always called himself oppa when he talks to me. Seeing that he was hesitating on calling himself oppa, gave me a big slap of reality. It hurt me so bad that I could feel my lips tremble a bit.

“Arasso.” I gave him the usual smile I gave him. I hoped it looked sincere. I tried to make it like that.

He walked in front of me. I didn’t want to walk beside him because I’ll blow up my perfect cover. It was already too difficult to keep the tears in. The walk was very quiet. He would be glancing at me at some moment, trying to make his pace slow enough for me to catch him. I was enjoying the moment, every step that I took and a little smile was slowly curving up. Watching his back was something that I’ve been missing these days; his broad back that would always feel warm on my cheeks. His brown orbs that would always show that he would take care of me no matter what. I missed that. So much. So much that I would do anything to turned back the time.

It was my fault.

“So the song would have a general idea of a breakup.” The man in front me, Mr. Choi, was giving the explanation about the whole concept that he had prepared before hand.

“A heart wrenching ballad that contains raps in it, and since Hyuna has experience in rapping, the rapping part can be more intense.” he continued with focus still on the paper in front of him, “The character in the song didn’t want the breakup to be done, but couldn’t do anything about it as her lover already decided to do so.”

“But wouldn’t it be to ordinary and would just sound like another ballad song?” I questioned Mr. Choi.

“The rap part.” Junhyung was thinking hard with the pencil tips pressed onto his temple; another habit of him that I knew to well.

”Wouldn’t it be interesting if it had replying raps? A girl and boy rap part that talk about their feeling of the breakup.” He was seriously getting his opinion out.

“It would be an intense number ballad! Yah! Great idea Junhyung-yah.” Mr. Choi was getting very excited due to Junhyung’s suggestion,”Hyuna will rap the girl part and you, Junhyung, will the do the boy part.”

My heart sank. It was the last think that I want to do with him; singing a breakup song. I lost my power and I could felt the excitement in me started to fade away. I knew it would be useless to say no to this. I didn’t even want to try. I wanted my song to be a perfect one, and I knew that his voice would make it perfect. I knew that fact and the fact that we didn’t have enough time to find somebody else. I just sit there accepting my fate with a little smile plastered to my face.

“Geunde hyung. What about asking somebody else to rap?” Junhyung suggested,” You know for variety?”

“Don’t worry Junhyung. Your way of rapping fits Hyuna’s perfectly.” He patted on Junhyung’s and my back while smiling wide, “By the way, the deadline is close too, so it will be hard to find a rapper as good as you.”