I recommend to play the song at the very start of every chapter.

I hope it is up to your expectation

“Junhyung-ah, ireona.”

“Give me five more minutes.”

“I can’t. Come on we’re going to be late for the schedule.”

“Jebal Doojoon. I’m so sleepy.”

“Ok. Arasso. At least move the couch, you’re going to hurt yourself after sleeping on the desk like that and shut down your laptop.”

Laptop? My laptop?

My eyes quickly opened at the thought of the last thing that was on the opened on my laptop. ! I don’t want anyone to see that photos.  I kind of half jumped on the chair and half standing in panic. My vision was still blurry but I moved my hands like a mad man on the desk, frantically grabbing my belongings closer to me.

Damn it!

“Whoa, what wrong with you?” I could hear Doojoon was shocked at my sudden doings.

I quickly pull my laptop closer only to find that the folder has been closed and even the flashdisk was ejected from the laptop. Weird, I didn’t remember doing that. I scratched my head in confusion as I turned myself facing Doojoon. He face was laughable. It was dumb before but it was dumber.

“Ani, nothing. Just…” I glance back at the laptop, “I’m gonna take shower then. Annyong~!.”

Doojoon just stood there with shock at my sudden aegyo. I just use that to distract him. Oh my poor chic personality. I took my towel and clothes and went inside the bathroom. I washed myself quickly and dry myself. The reflection on the mirror caught my attention. The tattoo that is written on the line of my shoulder somehow reminded me of her. I traced my fingers following the flow of the tattoo from the bottom of neck to the tips of my shoulder. I should have stop there, but my fingers worked its ways from the end of my shoulder to my back, to the place where she puts hers.

"My mother is the heart, that keeps me alive."

“Oppa! I think I know what I’m going to give omma for her birthday!” She was so cute when she said that. We were having a little date in a recording studio because that was the only place where I can be free with her, talking with no one trying to poke into our business. We were sitting on the couch. I was reviewing some of the composing that I’ve done that day and she was there to learn a bit and accompany me.

“Jinja? What is it?” I turned my attention to her as I watch her looking at her composing sheet.

“It’s a secret oppa!” She turned to me and smiled sweetly. I really wanted to pinch her cheeks.

“Yah!” I was protesting to her when suddenly she grabs my right hand and turned it to expose the tattoo on my arm. Her finger gently grazed the writing. 

“A tattoo.” She looked up to me with a pleased smile. She really has decided on it.

“You’re going to take your mom to the tattoo shop and made one on her?” I just realized that I sounded like an idiot after I said that. Of course it wouldn’t be her mom getting the tattoo you foolish Junhyung.

“Ani oppa. Hahaahhahaha. You’re so funny oppa.” She was laughing cutely while putting her chin on my right shoulder. I could see her eyes right in front of me.  “Of course I’m the one getting the tattoo but the words are meant for her.”

“Oh arasso.” I was feeling embarrassed when suddenly I just realized something, “Geundae Hyuna-yah, that tattoo, it hurts a lot when you made one. Mani appeo.”

“Ara oppa.” She was playing with my fingers.

I really liked that moment when there just silence between us but we were showing how much we care for each other. I gently took control of her hand and my thumb against her hand. I could feel her body moving closer to me and so I put my hand behind her back pulling her closer to me. We didn’t let go of each other hand and in that silence, we were enjoying our time. Time ticks by and I realized that she was looking at me. I looking back at her and was just mesmerized by her brown orbs.

“Wae Hyuna-yah?” I gave her a small smile.

She didn’t answer me, but just looked at me with her doe-eyes. She was puffing her cheeks and looked at me playfully. Suddenly, I knew what she wanted, it was written all over her cute face and her aegyos. I moved myself and placed myself so that we were facing each other. She looked a bit confused by the sudden change but she just smile. I smiled back at her and pull her closer to me until our knees touch each other.

“Arasso Hyuna-yah. I can never win against your aegyo.” A smile grew on her face as she knew that I understand her.

“Jinja? You would come with me when I get the tattoo?” I nodded my head to answer her and got myself a hug, “Oppa jjang-ida! Nomu kumao!”

“Geundae Hyuna-yah, I’ll do it on one condition.” I threw her a playful smile.

“What is it oppa? I’ll do anything!” She clapped her hands together; I could see her being excited. I just smiled back at her, and move closer to her. Her confused expression was lovely as she watch me move. I pulled her closer to me and made her sit on my lap. My hands were on her waist and hers was around my neck. I looked up and find her gaze upon me.

“Hyuna-yah, can I kiss you now?” I asked her while putting a smile on my face. I could my heart thumping heart because her breath touching my skin.

“Ah oppa! Waeguraeseyeo!” She cried out of embarrassment and lightly hit my chest. I hugged her waist tighter and fixed my gaze on her.

“Can I?” I asked her again, trying to put a cool face even though I was so shy inside.

 She nodded her head and I could feel a big smile growing on my face. She turned her gaze away from me trying to hide her embarrassment after seeing my happy smile. I slowly moved my hands from her waist and to the tip of her shin. I gently turned her face to me and looked at her eyes. I love her; that was the first thing that crossed my mind when my gaze fell upon her brown orbs. I moved forward to her until my lips touch hers; tightening my hands around her waist. The warmth of her lips made it felt like it melted into mine. Her hands around my neck gave me chills down my spine. Her touch were soft and gentle. I was drown into the kiss forgetting anything that around me. She was just like a drug, tempting and addicting. It felt like the clock stop ticking, the music stop playing, the wind stop blowing, and it seemed that everything stopped in our own little world. I felt that she was mine and I was hers. I think I…

“Couldn’t live without her.” unconsciously muttered the words that I used to say back then. Upon realizing of what I say, it was too late as the pain was building up in my chest. I sighed out of frustration. The reflection on the mirror didn’t help me ease the pain. An image of myself, the one who was foolish of letting her go and now the one who cannot decide whether he’s regretting it or not. I was feeling like a fool, an idiotic moron who cannot decide on his own feeling. A feeling of frustration and anger were boiling up in me as frictions of my foolish actions keep on clashing with the images of being happy with her. I tried shaking my head to keep the memories away but it doesn’t, it just replayed itself like a broken movie. I grew angrier with myself. I hated how the mirror is in front of me right now. I hated the person that was on the mirror. I hate it. I JUST hate it.

“YAH! JUNHYUNG! What are you doing in there?” A furious knocking was on the door and I could hear Doojoon yelling from outside. I was staring blankly at the red stain on the cracked mirror; it was dripping its color down following the gravity that the earth has.

“BANG!” A sound of door being opened by force made me realize what I was doing. I was confused with all that was happening just seconds ago. I must be out of my mind. I could see Doojoon’s shocked expression at the cracked mirror. I slowly turned myself to face him.

“YAH! Neo gwaenchanha?”  He quickly grabbed my right hand and suddenly sting of pain came.

“AW!” I looked at my hand and it was covered with blood and some pieces of mirror on it. What did I just do? Doojoon realized my confused expression and decided not to ask anything to me. He led me outside the bathroom and made me sit on the couch. He sat on the floor while gently picking out pieces of mirrors off my wound.

“Hyung, what’s is happening? Why are yelling in the morning?” Dongwoon came and suddenly realized the cuts on my bloody hand, ”I’ll go and take some medicine.”

Dongwoon came back with the medicine box and quickly opened it. He looked worried but decided to go and leave with Doojoon. Doojoon prepared the things needed to cover my wound. As he took my hand and dab some medicine, he said

“Junhyung-ah, you owe me an explanation.”

I cringed a bit because of the pain caused by the medicine. Silence took both of out attention for while. Doojoon didn't say anything to me anymore, he focused himself to covering up my bruised hand but I knew that he was waiting for my answer.

“I know. I'll tell you when the time is right.”

Hyuna, what did I just do?

I took out the notebook that I had in my bag and opened it, trying to find the paper that had the draft lyric written on it. I re-read it over and over but something doesn’t seemed right it wasn’t the perfect one. Although it fitted the song’s beat perfectly but the essence of the song wasn’t quite right if I used these lyrics. I could sense the frustration building up inside me as I found myself ruffling my head again and again. I took my pen and started to scratch the words on the paper harshly, resulting me in scrunching the paper and throwing it away it such agony. Damn. I tried to look for more inspiration by looking at the past lyrics that I've made before. I took my ipad and unlocked. Rush, i was working my fingers in such a rush, tapping, scrolling and flipping through my file like the world was going to end sooner that  I expected. I was so frustrated that simply anything could easily annoyed me. Such as,

"Hyung..." I heard Dongwoon voice calling me, in a scared tone. It's not his fault really, it just me.

"What?!!" His face was so shocked at my harsh remarks as I turned myself to answer him. I felt like such a bad hyung that time. Foolish me. He quickly put a box of food in front of my face.

“Hyung, your meal.” He gave a weak smile and took a step back.

“Oh, kumao.” I gave him a sorry-smile and turned my attention back to the papers in front of me, regretting my actions to Dongwoon.

Even though the smell of the food was tempting, I didn't find an appetite to eat it even it is just for bite. Blank papers were staring at me, mocking me with it's purity and my incapability to fill them words and feelings. Tick tock.. Tick tock... Tick tock... Time was clicking  restlessly in my head. It annoyed me so much and I started to get angry at myself. it. Not even one of the blank papers had a scratch of ink on it. My fingers gripped the pen roughly and tried to write on it. It was less than inch for the pen's tip to touch the surface of the anticipating cold white paper but I couldn't move forward. My hand was trembling and   I didn't have any explanation for it. Something was wrong with me. I pushed myself, gathering strength that comes out of nowhere just to simply put a tiny mark on the freakin' white paper. I ended up breaking the pen into two. . When I realized what just happened, I simply put my head down to the table, feeling like an idiot that I am. Silence was accompanying me, hugging me with its loneliness.  

Tok. A sound next to me caught my attention, yet I didn't bother to move even for an inch. It bothered me though, sensing that someone standing next to you while you're in a bad mood. The hell, who is trying to bother me? I put my head up with my eyes still closed. I was kind of pissed off.

"Yah!! Just go aw..."

“Junhyung-ah, you should be more honest with yourself.”

“Eh?” I looked to my side and opened my eyes, only to find Hyunseung leaning onto the table while drinking a bottle of water. He looked so calm and somehow cold.

“Mworago?” I asked him, not knowing what he meant by that. He chuckled supposedly by my clueless face shedding his cold outer shell. He was still the Hyunseung I know.

“Just be honest." his hand slides a crumpled paper that seemed familiar, "That lyric of yours, just needed a little bit more of your honest feelings.”

I took the paper into my hands. It was the paper threw just moments before, the one with so much scribbles here and there, notes everywhere, and not even leaving one space untouched by the ink. It was the very first and only draft, I have ever made for this song. I looked at him, giving him a somehow confused-but-I-understand-you look. He just smiled a little at me. He understands me more than everyone else, from the start until now. Damn you, Hyunseung.

“I’m sure it’ll be a great song.” He patted my shoulder while walking away, "It's the Joker after all."

I looked at the crumpled paper in my hands. A weak piece of paper that I threw away like it was nothing, just like you Hyuna-yah. Again, how many times do I have to feel like a fool to realize the mistakes I've made? Now, I knew why I couldn't write the lyrics. I was afraid to tell you the truth Hyuna-yah. I was afraid that you would be hurt from the things that I wrote. I had hurt you many times before and I was afraid you’d hate me even more. I'm sorry Hyuna-yah, but this will be the last time I'll hurt you.

Honesty? I think I didn't let you know much, it felt like I've been lying to you all of this time, Hyuna-yah.

Mianhae.

“Guys, Manager-hyung said that Hyuna is in the hospital?” I said while closing the door behind me. I was totally ready for whatever reaction they will have, cause I know it'll be a frantic one.

“Jinja?!!” everyone except Junhyung and Hyunseung exclaimed in unison. 

“Geundae hyung, wae?” as usual, our maknae Dongwoon would be the one who worried the most, jumping with his worries around the room.

“Our aegyo princess is sick!” and yes, Yoseob would follow as the second behind Dongwoon. They jumping around like mad rabbits puling Gi Kwang to follow them. Pabo, pabo, and pabo.  I told myself while looking at the three of them.

“Molla. I don’t know, but they said that she fainted in the training room. Jin-taek hyung found her already sick.” I answered them while signaling them to calm down; they never listened to me as usual.

“She was soaked in the rain, and didn’t have much sleep because of her solo comeback preparation. It wouldn’t be a surprise if she couldn’t handle all of the pressure.” a familiar husky voice unexpectedly answered.

Even I was surprised to hear him answering. The moment I told him the news, he didn't even look surprised or reacts for a bit. It was like he didn't even care but now he was answering in a full, no, in two full sentences. He wasn’t the person who would answer to such question; he would usually just sit and be quiet. There was something different from him today, especially the tone of his voice.

“Hyunseung-hyung, how did you know?” I notice that Dongwoon was as curious as I am.

“Just a wild guess.” He answered Dongwoon calmly.  

“You’re a genius you know?” Yoseob clapped his hands and went over to hug him.

“Ara.” He patted Yoseob’s head and went back to listening songs.

“Doojoonie, we don’t have anymore schedule right? Let’s visit her. I kinda missed her and 4minute too.” Gi Kwang suddenly called me, making me snapped back into reality and out of my thoughts.

“I’ll tell manager-hyung first ok? ”

I opened the door and looked for the manager-hyung. Luckily he was still near our dressing room, and so I waved my hand signaling for him to come closer. I was asking hyung about us, visiting Hyuna but my attention wasn’t on hyung, I couldn’t help ear dropping to the kids talking inside.

”Junhyung, you’re coming right?” I could hear Yoseob asking him.

“Oh, sure.”

His answer got back my attention to them. His tone; He was trembling weakly but I could sense that he was worried, and shocked. This morning, I thought that I was dreaming and hallucinating when I first saw the photos that were on his macbook screen. Hyuna’s photos that I had never seen before, their photos, and their relationship that I didn’t even know existed. The time when I closed the folder and ejected his flashdisk, I knew that he would owe a story. It just happened that the story would be much more that I expected. I think I could handle knowing it, but could I handle trying to act like I didn’t know anything.

“Kids, let’s go!” I yelled at them trying to get of the thoughts that are in my mind.

“Horray! A trip to the hospital!” The three pabos answered me with such excitement. I just sighed and smile. Let the story begin, shall we?

3110 words

Ani: no

Geundae: But

Jinja: seriously

Mworago: what did u say?

Ara: I know

Hello there, i want to ask should i write what happened in hospital from Junhyung's perspective or just skip to Hyuna's like the usual?

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Btw, need more comment and esp critique to go on hehehe