"Even though I know that my love will never reach you
I continue to love you uncontrollably
I want to hold you in my arms one more
And never let you go

I will never let you go"

Gackt- Todokanai Ai To teiru No Ni Osaekirezuni Aisuzuketa

 

 

***

 

“What exactly happen to her?” Changmin asked while looking at devastated-looking Ryeowook on the floor. Changmin wanted to ask about what Ryeowook meant by ‘I didn’t give her love’. That part confused him the most. Yet he know Ryeowook wouldn’t tell, not now. Beside what happen to Choa was more important right now.

“She…’ Ryeowook started. He lowered his head and Changmin saw, how the other’s tears left stains on Ryeowook’s shirt. Changmin wanted to say that it’s ok, that Ryeowook don’t have to force himself, but instead, he took the spot on the floor next to Ryeowook. “She had cancer…” Ryeowook sadly added. “She had cancer and didn’t tell me, even if she get pregnant. She could get rid of the child and gets treated, but she refused. She told me that it’s the evidence that we were really one and we were family. And so she gave birth to Kyuhyun. She almost died while giving birth to him. I was so scared and guilty, because it was my fault that I agreed to our marriage, to her pregnancy. If only I refused to sleep with her that one time…” Ryeowook said, making Changmin wide his eyes. Did he heard it right? Ryeowook slept with Choa only once? Why? He was her husband. He loved her right? “…But I did it. And because of me she almost died, but lucky she didn’t. She was fine more than a year. She looked like a ghost and often took naps, but she was fine. But I know she wasn’t. The medicine she was taking, didn’t work at all, only slightly. She lost her hair and got weaker day by day. Yet she still played with Kyuhyun. I think she hoped the kid will remember her somehow. She still teach him many things. And I too, next to her, learned how to be a good father and husband back then. Changmin, I fell in love with her only when she was dying… I somehow fell in love, but it was different love that I fell for…” Ryeowook suddenly cut his words. He bit his lip and glanced at Changmin, who looked without a clue at the other. “…She was so weak, but despite that, she was a good mother and wife. And I only acknowledge it in the end. I was too blind or more like I realized it in far end, too late for us to be happy.” Ryeowook started crying again. He desperately tried to wipe the tears away, but they fell even harder.

“Shhh it’s ok.” Changmin assured. He pat the other’s head and Ryeowook’s soft hair. That gesture made the shorter man move and rest his head on the other’s chest.

“The day before the died, she coughed blood. Changmin you don’t know how worried I was. How I almost yelled at her when she refused to go to the hospital. I wanted to be with her. I cried to let me be with her. I wanted to stay and help her, but she told me she was fine. She was a liar. When I went to work with a heavy heart I called her every 10 minutes. She would tell me she is ok. If only I knew, Changmin that, that day Choa made a video for Kyuhyun and me. She told us she loved us. That despite the fact that I couldn’t love her normally, she loved me deeply. She told Kyuhyun a lot of silly things, that I‘m sure Kyuhyun now know and copy them. That video was full of pain and sadness, but full or warm and love as well. She loved us and she didn’t know we both loved her too. That night after I come back, I whispered that I loved her. I told that to her for the first time in my life. I told Choa I loved her and she died next day. She didn’t wake up. She died with a strange smile on her face. Choa died before I could directly tell her I loved her. Because of that my heart stopped feeling, stopped carrying. My love is poisoned. I killed her. She could live more, but no, I killed her. And I will kill Kyuhyun too, because he is half her. I can’t bear to look at him, because I see Choa in him. I fear I will kill him too. I don’t want to do it.” Ryeowook moved away from Changmin. He sobbed, burying his head on his knees. Changmin looked at his friend, how he looked like in pain. He surpassed his tears. He need to be strong for both of them. He felt sorry for Choa. She was amazing woman and she deserved all the love in the world. If she wasn’t Ryeowook’s wife, if Changmin wasn’t in love with Ryeowook, he was sure he would love that woman. She was amazing. She was strong to fight till the end. But sadly, her life was too short, and died too painful.

“Ryeowook I think it was Choa’s time to go to heaven.” Changmin begun, making Ryeowook look at him confused.

“What?”

“I think it was her time. You didn’t kill her, cancer did. I think you more gave her the feeling of accomplishment. I think she heard your confession back them. This way she freely could let go of everything. Because she knew you will remember her in good way, would love her and the child you both had together.” Changmin said then widened his eyes, when he saw Ryeowook cried even harder.

“I didn’t deserve her love. I hurt her, I hurt people I should cherish.” Ryeowook said. After that Changmin without thinking, pulled the other into a tight hug.

“Then fix it.” He said. Ryeowook rested his head on Changmin’s chest. And still in the taller’s man embrace, he done something unexpected. He reached and embraced Changmin back, making Min’s heart skip a beat.

***

 

Kyuhyun had worried expression when Changmin approached him, but it vanished when the man said Ryeowook was fine and sleeping. Indeed Ryeowook was sleeping. After their talk, Changmin suggested Ryeowook to get more rest. Their talk was exhausting.

“Is dad ok?” Kyuhyun asked while standing next to Changmin.

“He is fine. He was tired, you don’t have to worry.” Kyuhyun’s face brightened immediately after these words. “Now, let’s go shopping. I need to buy what I promised and other things.” Changmin winked at Kyuhyun, making the boy smile. After that both of them went into Changmin’s car and drove off.

Changmin drove them to the supermarket. He took the trolley. He wanted to put Kyuhyun on the kid’s sit but the other was too big for it. Because of that Changmin agreed for Kyuhyun to sit inside the trolley. Then the man bended a little and pointed his finger on the small boy. His face looked strict, as brows almost connected. He told Kyuhyun to pick only most important things, which means everything he want. Excited kid jumped from joy after hearing it, making the trolley move.

“Watch out! I want you to be safe.” Min said while ruffling Kyu’s hair. The kid giggled sheepishly.

Soon both of them engrossed themselves in picking up things. Changmin pick some sweets not only for both of them but for Ryeowook too. He picked strawberry pudding that he remember from his childhood, Ryeowook loved.

Changmin left Kyuhyun in the other side of the raw. He know Kyu as a good child will not try to go out from the trolley. He was picking up some ice-cream that he promised Kyuhyun. Not knowing which to pick the turned to Kyuhyun and came to him.

“Which should we pick?” He asked while showing the boy three different types of ice-cream. Kyu looked at them debating. He wanted all of them if he could.

“Excuse me, could you help me?” A y girl tapped Changmin’s shoulder, making the man turn and look at her. Kyuhyun seeing the girl pouted angrily.

“Yes?” Changmin said hesitantly. He felt uncomfortable as she gazed at him lustfully. He wonder if the girl noticed he was with a child.

“Can you pick this small box from the top shelve? I can reach that.” She flutter her eyelashes in flirty manner. Changmin just nodded and picked up the box that she pointed.

“Here.” He handed the box to the woman, but soon tensed when she touched his hand.

“Oh my, you are working out? You are so tall and fit.” She flirted, smiling with fake shyness, as she touched Changmin’s arm.

“Emmm…thanks.” Changmin tried to get free from the woman. She was trying to pick him up. He looked at Kyuhyun and saw the boy had red face from anger.

“Is he your child? Are you a single father?” She asked while clinging to Min’s arm. She looked at the man’s hands and saw no ring on them.

“I…” Min began but Kyuhyun interrupted him.

“Go away ugly! Uncle is my dad’s important friend!” Kyu yelled while shacking the trolley. The woman looked shocked at the kid then slipped  her hands away from Changmin’s arm.

“My luck.” She said little sorrowful then quickly went away, not even spare Changmin or Kyuhyun a glance. Changmin looked at the smaller man and saw him crossing his small arms around his small chest.

“Kyu you think of me and your father like that?” Changmin asked little shocked. Small boy looked at him and nodded.

“Yes. When I asked daddy who you are, he said you were his important friend but quickly denied it.” Changmin’s eyes widened at the kid’s words. He thought he wasn’t important to Ryeowook anymore. He blushed hard and almost jumped from happiness, if not the fact that Kyuhyun changed the topic so suddenly. “I want all ice-creams!” Small boy said, engrossed by the ice-cream in the trolley. Changmin nodded and moved to the cashier. He was still wondering about what Kyu said, but was always distracted by people.

Soon he paid for their things. With a small help from Kyuhyun, he put the food and toys Kyu get in the car and drove off to Min’s apartment.

Changmin was confused over Ryeowook’s acting towards him. He didn’t want to see Min, but then why he didn’t say to his kid that they don’t know each other? Changmin wanted answers to all things that confused him. And he hoped he get them soon.

 

 

 

A/N: Hello, this time the chapter is not after an month. I'm moving my lazy to work on all my fics and finish them quickly. 

I just want to say this fic will have like maybe 2-4 chapters more and the ending ^^

Next chapter- Fluff I swear! xD

And sorry for wookchoa but I love this otp <3