“The scars of the memories still remaining in your reflected arms 
are the proof of the guilt you carried even after you were forgiven. 
The way your lips curve into the faintest of smiles is so precious and fleeting 
that I won't hand you over to anyone else…”

“Even if no one else in all the world understands, it's all right 
because you're still there waiting. 
Even now, I still see you, unchanging, 
just like that...”

Gackt - Kimi Ga Matte Iru Kara

 

~~~~~~

 

Changmin’s first week in Korea went pretty quickly; home, sleep, shower, breakfast, work, dinner, home, can of beer, sleep and the routine repeated.

He stretched in the bed; some bones cracked. Sun of the Saturday’s morning rushed inside his room. The sunlight warmed his sprawled on bed body, coloring it with gold, making Changmin groan as the sun shone at his face. He yawned and scratched his chest as he sat on the bed.

With heavy steps, he made his way to take a shower and get ready to go out. He was grumpy, because he was willing to rather sleep the morning off, than to go out, to buy furniture. Yet the springs on his old bed, the worn out sofa in the living room and dilapidated chair and table in the kitchen told him otherwise.

When he gets ready, wearing casual clothes instead of suits every day, Changmin went out, locking the door. He left the keys on the reception, because the clean lady will clean his apartment finally, when he will be searching for new furniture. He will finally get rid of dust in his apartment.

He hopped into his car and drove off to the Centrum.

He bought the furniture; new kitchen set, living room, bathroom, bedroom. He bought some new clothes, shoes, items to his apartment  and books. Changmin loves reading, if he could, he would sit and read all day and night, but he had a job to do.

He drove to the supermarket near his place. After knowing that his new things will come to his apartment on Wednesday, he wasn’t in hurry. He walked around, searching for an instant food, or half prepared ones. He bought some cosmetics and more alcohol and sweets. Some would say that Changmin is alcoholic, but he wasn’t; yet. After he come back to Korea he was thinking more about Ryeowook. Everything was making his remember the latter. His sleep was disturbed by Ryeowook’s smiling face and gentle voice that he would always use, when he called Changmin. The only solution for this- Changmin found- was alcohol. Not a huge amount, but beer or two before his sleep. It easiest his mind and made him not dream of Ryeowook. Even if missed his best friend, he hated the torture of unawareness of Ryeowook’s residence.

He was pushing his trolley, when a boy crossed his path, making Changmin stop and look at the place where the boy disappeared. ‘It was him?’ Changmin thought as he looked around for a kid. The boy looked similar to the one he met on the playground a few night before. He frowned his brows, thinking of what the kid was doing here and looked alone, but stopped and went to pay for his groceries.

He put the groceries on the passenger’s seat and closed the door. He was about to open the driver door, when he saw the tire. The tire was flat, showing something cut it and the air went out. Changmin cursed and kicked the car’s tire frustrated. He was a ten minutes from his apartment. He looked around searching for a mechanic and smiled brightly, when he saw one, not that far from him. He crossed the street and went to the end of the street.

He entered the mechanic shop and his nose wrinkled at the smell. He could smell grease and metal everywhere.
“Hello? Anyone is here?” Changmin called and minute later a slightly old man come out from other room, cleaning his hands with dirty rag. He was chubby and short. His black-grey hairs pushed behind.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The man said with a smile, making Changmin smile back.

“My tire, there is no air in it and I don’t have a spare one.” Changmin pointed at his car. The old man looked at the direction where Changmin is pointing and tsyked.

“No problem son, but sadly it can be done on Monday. I don’t have spare tires, we use all of them and at late evening we will get new ones.” The old man said, looking at some documents.

“No problem, I can wait.” Changmin said and both of them done the formalities. Changmin took his shopping bags from his car and handed the key to the mechanic.

“Your car will be ready on Monday’s evening.” The old man said. Changmin nodded with a smile. He was about to turn around and leave, but he heard the boy from the playground’s  voice and stopped. Curious he looked around and saw a boy talking with another mechanic. Changmin could see just the man’s back.

“Dad, I get the highest score in math test in school today. Are you proud of me?” The kid said. The man looked at the kid, but still, Changmin couldn’t see his face. The man patted without a word the boy-his son’s head. “Are you?” The son asked again, when his father turned and went to the other room. Changmin could hear sadness in boy’s voice. Both of them disappeared from Changmin’s view. Changmin’s brows frowned. He felt a huge curiosity toward the kid’s father. He wanted to see the man’s face, but unlucky he couldn’t. Changmin didn’t know why he felt like it, but something was pulling him to go after these two.

“Son?” The old man called Changmin, making the tall man snap from his thoughts.

“Aaa yeah, nothing, goodbye.” Changmin said and exited the mechanist shop, still thinking that the father’s kid felt familiar to him. As if he saw this back somewhere, this posture.

 

Changmin huffed as he stepped inside his now clear apartment. He puts the bags near the door and fell onto the sofa with a groan. He thought he will not make it into his apartment. He never though all these things would be this heavy.

After that, Changmin stood up and took bags to the kitchen. He smiled at the full fridge. He know instant and half made food wasn’t healthy, but he is too lazy to eat out.

Changmin took out gimpab and unwrapped the foil. He grabbed the beer too and went to the balcony. The weather was nice. Sun shone brightly, as summer was still in the air. The two small plants moved by the warm air. The small bench and table, that to Changmin’s surprise wasn’t old and worn-out, were colored in light brown.

He took a sit on the wooden bench and started eating while drinking his beer. He looked at his food and smiled. Memories come back, piercing his heart, yet sooth it with warm:

“Tada!”– Ryeowook said exited, as he showed the lunch box next to Changmin’s face. He wasn’t chubby anymore. He grew much taller and skinny, yet was still one of the shortest in their high school.

“wow gimpab? It looks so tasty.” Changmin said, reaching for a piece, but Ryeowook snatch it away.

“It’s mine. You already have your food.” Ryeowook said, at sadly looking Changmin. Changmin made a puppy sad eyes, as he looked at his bread and took a bite.

“But yours looks better.” Changmin pouted and ate his bread in two big bites. Ryeowook laughed at the cuteness and took a lunch box from his backpack and handed it to Changmin.

“Thanks and this is your share, food monster.” Ryeowook mockingly said, as Changmin snatched the box and opened the lid. An inhuman whine of excitement went out from Changmin’s throat.  He almost whole content like a vacuum, making Ryeowook laugh even more.

“Ryeowook you are genius. You should be a chef and cook. Please be one so I can eat free in your restaurant.” Changmin said with hopping eyes and Ryeowook just slapped his arm, almost making Changmin choke over his food.

“You know what I love better.” Ryeowook laughed, as he took a bite of his food. Changmin leaned closer and sniffed the shorter boy for a second.

“Grease, you play with machines again?” Changmin smirked. He loved this smell, because it was mixed perfectly with Ryeowook’s natural scent, but he never told his best friend this.

“Yup.” Ryeowook said with a nod and smiled.

 

Changmin smiled at himself and shook his head, taking a sip of beer. “We were so young and free.” He murmured, lips touched the can. “How I wish to taste your food, smell your scent.” His eyes turned glossy, as memories of something that never returned, filled his thoughts, that crushed his being, torn his heart into million pieces. The sweet drops of memories, that he cherish so much, were like acid, burning his skin; will of life. He hold on them, instead of letting go, as if they could rescue him, from the worst that already came. What Changmin didn’t know, the rope of his recollection wasn’t tided to anything and he was falling. Falling into deep of misfortune. Life without the love. Life without purpose. 

 

 

 

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Ninja update because I wanted to post something ^^ I hope you guys like the small mystery? If you do, please comment so I will know.

I'm sorry for whining about comments all the time, but some say, that the comments are author's food and inspiration, so give me some or I will starve to death :D 

PS: prepare tissues next time ^^