“Mr. oh you need to choose now, our time is running “ the doctor said to sehun, he was in dazed, he can’t think properly, he can’t choose, his mind was blank. His wife is in the operating room ready to give birth to their first child but everything turns upside down, and he was now on the middle of choosing between the life of his wife and son.

“I want my wife alive” he suddenly said turning to look at the doctor.

“are you sure Mr. oh?” the doctor worriedly asked.

“yes, I want my wife to live, save my wife please” he start to shed tears as he grip on his head.

“ok, we will start the operation now” as soon as the doctor leave him behind, he slump on the floor and buried his face on his palm still crying his heart out.

6 years after

Sehun woke up late, he hate to wake up early anyway, every day he wished to never wake up anymore. It’s been six years since his wife passed away. Yes, his wife was the one who died and their child live. How did it happen when he was the one who choose? His wife begged the doctor to save their child instead and sehun was late to stop it. He didn’t know that his wife heard him when he decided who he chooses to live. And until now he still can’t move on. He lazily got up from his bed and went to his bathroom to get ready for his work. After he took a bath and wore his clothes he went downstairs to eat his breakfast. He was already on the stairs when he heard his son’s voice. He furrowed his eyebrow in irritation. He was never fond of his son having the fact the he was the reason why his wife died. He treats him coldly.

“good morning appa!” sunwoo, his 6 years old son greeted him, he just ignore the little boy and took a seat.

“auntie jin can I have a coffee?” sehun ask their long time nanny. Auntie jin is like sehun’s second mother, she was also the one who took care of sehun when he was still as young as sunwoo and now it was sunwoo who she was taking care off. Auntie jin went back to the kitchen to make sehun’s coffee and that leave him and his son in the dining table. Sunwoo is eating his breakfast silently afraid to make his father angry while sehun reads the newspaper completely ignoring sunwoo’s presence.

“here you go sehun” auntie jin came back with sehun’s coffee.

“thank you” sehun said eyes not leaving the newspaper,

“I’ll go check the clothes im washing”auntie jin said, sehun just nod and sunwoo happily wave at her.

Sunwoo is having a hard time eating his breakfast, usually auntie jin feed him but since he claim that he was already growing up, he wanted to do things on his own from now on. He was trying his best to feed himself when he accidently loosens his grip on his fork and it fell on the floor. Sehun let out a hissed and put his newspaper down just to see his son crouching down the dining table. He’s going to return from reading the newspaper when he heard a loud thud and the dining table shook a little. His son hit his head on the table a little hard while standing up. Sehun is already preparing himself to hear his loud cry. He was taken aback a little seeing sunwoo went back to his seat caressing the part of his head that got hit in the table with his glassy eyes. Sunwoo lowered his head trying to avoid his father’s eyes.

“mianhe appa” he faintly said. It made sehun in dazed for a while, how can a 6 years old boy refrain himself from crying when he was actually hurt badly. It made him worried a little.

“be careful next time” he coldly said and sunwoo just nodded. sehun found himself gradually looking at sunwoo, checking him if his alright seeing him slowly eating his breakfast while caressing his head from time to time. After eating his breakfast he went to work leaving his son still eating hearing him saying goodbye faintly before he close their door.

Sehun went home exhausted from work, he went straight to his room and change his clothes, he was about to go downstairs when he saw the light on his son’s room still on. Curious, he went to check on sunwoo, he silently and slowly open the door seeing his son lying on his bed stomach first. His son’s back was facing him so sunwoo can’t see him.

“umma, auntie jin said that you love me very much that’s why you’re an angel now watching me always from heaven” he saw sunwoo holding the picture of his umma innocently talking to it.

“thank you umma for always by my side, but can I request something? Can you watch after appa too? He was working hard nowadays umma and im afraid he get sick, but don’t worry umma, I will take care of him when he gets sick” sunwoo added, sehun is still at the door listening to sunwoo, his lips involuntary lift upwards and he felt warmth hearing those words from his son. He silently close the door and proceed to go downstairs. Maybe he was warming up to his son already.

Sehun was left to take care of sunwoo since auntie jin went to the province to visit her relatives for an special occasion for a week so sehun has no choice but to take care of sunwoo until auntie jin went back. He was already on his way to his son’s kindergarten to pick him up. As soon as he went out of his car he immediately looks for sunwoo. He can’t find him outside where he used to wait so he decided to check him in his classroom. When he arrive at sunwoo’s classroom he saw his son sitting at the corner clutching the bag he bought for him last Christmas with bruises all over his body and on his face. Sehun suddenly felt his blood boiling seeing his son like that.

“are you sunwoo’s guardian?” a petite lady ask sehun.

“yes, I am sunwoo’s father” sehun replied back, he take a look at his son who still head hung low not taking a look at him.

“I am sunwoo’s classroom adviser, you see sunwoo got into a fight, I was pretty late to stop them so he got bruises all over his body, I’m sorry Mr. oh, I tried to ask him what’s the reason of their fight but he didn’t answered me, actually he was kind of a brave kid, he didn’t cry even though he got beaten up”

They were already on their way home, sunwoo was still silent and sehun is waiting for him to tell him the whole story. Seeing his father a little mad sunwoo decided to speak.

“im sorry appa” that was all sunwoo uttered, his head was still hung low and sehun is getting irritated towards his son’s action.

“is that all you can say? You’re just saying sorry? Aren’t you gonna tell me why did you have to fight? I didn’t raise you to be a bad kid sunwoo,” sehun sternly said, he saw his son flinch a little still hugging his bag like his life depend on it.

“can you talk to me already.!?tell me what they did to you or what did you do to them to create a fight and get yourself beaten up” he was in raged now, he was hurt, sehun was hurt seeing his son helpless like that, a protective side of him showed up but sunwoo still stay silent, sehun gave up and just let the ride to their house in silence. When they arrive at their house, sehun immediately went to his office and shut the door leaving sunwoo in the living room. Sehun felt his blood boiling, yes, he was mad, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to teach those kids who hurt his son a lesson, but he can’t do anything, he let out a loud sigh and decided to take a bath to cool his self-down. When he was done he remembered that he still didn’t cook dinner so he went to the kitchen. When he pass by the living room, he saw the television was on and his son was sitting on the floor with the first aid kit on the table, he soften a little, his son is hurt yet he didn’t even tend his wounds, he went towards sunwoo who is not aware of his presence since he was busy blowing his wound in his elbow.

“do you even know what you are doing?” sehun said as he take a seat at the couch beside sunwoo,

“I saw it on tv” sunwoo faintly replied not looking at sehun, he felt guilty all of a sudden, his poor son was tending his own wounds, his poor 6 years old son. He suddenly lifted sunwoo up and place him on the couch beside him. Sunwoo widen his eyes as sehun hold his arm and carefully dab the cotton with antibiotic in his wound. Sunwoo cringe a little, seeing this, sehun blow at his wound to ease the pain.

“you can ask me to tend you wounds for you, you don’t need to do it by yourself” sehun said while tending his other wounds.

“but I don’t want to disturb you appa, I don’t want you to get mad at me again” realization hit sehun that time, yeah, all he did is to get mad at his son. He was such a bad father but he can still change that right? He can be the best father.

“I wouldn’t get mad, actually I’ll never get mad at you from now on, appa promise that”  sehun felt light headed seeing his son smile widely at him, for all these years, this is the only time he felt at peace when he was with his son, he forgot the hatred he felt for him and it was change to longing, longing for his son that is actually just by his side all along.

“they ganged up at me a while ago appa” sunwoo suddenly said while sehun still cleaning his wounds.

Sehun’s pov

“they called me names like sunwich, dumbwoo and sunworse, actually I don’t mind them calling me different names but they include you, they told me that you don’t love me that’s why it was always auntie jin who pick me from school, they said that you’re a robot and umma wasn’t here because she don’t want me, that’s not true right appa? Auntie jin told me umma loves me that’s why she was an angel now” I felt a lump was forming in my throat, I never thought my son is suffering as much as I do, I was really dumb for being cold to him, and all I can do is to regret everything, to regret all I have done for the past 6 years.

“yes, your umma loves you very much, appa was really bad back then but umma was the one who saves you, because she loves you, so don’t listen to those kids, okay? Appa is here for you from now on” I suddenly hug him, My son. For the first time in 6 years I hug my son lovingly, a tear scape from my eyes and I immediately wipe it so sunwoo wouldn’t see it. I felt warmth crawling up from my body, a sudden feeling of happiness invades my heart. This is the right time to be a real father for my son, he was the only one left for me.

It’s been a while now since I decided to change our life, to change myself and to be a good father to my son, we spent our time together filling the gap from 6 years of mourning to my wife. I never felt this happy before after my wife died, I never felt at peace not until now I decided to acknowledge my son. It’s the best feeling in the world especially hearing sunwoo called me appa. We are now spending our weekend in the park playing soccer together. Sunwoo happily kick the ball towards me.

“appa don’t kick the ball to hard” sunwoo whine, I laugh at him, I never taught it felt good to be a father, to have an adorable son like sunwoo.

“okay,!!i’ll just kick it slightly” I yelled back at him, he grinned at me and when I kick the ball back to him, he kicked it back and it went a little far.

“ooppss..!!i’ll get it!!” I chuckle at him. I watch him run towards the ball. I smile seeing him running or rather skipping happily. Then all of a sudden I lost my sight to him. I started to walk to search for him when a tire screeching and a loud thud can be heard, then the people screaming, I got scared when I realize it came from where sunwoo was. I found myself running so fast, it can’t be, don’t tell me it’s my son, please don’t let it be sunwoo. My chest started to feel heavy as I came near the accident, I shove everyone I pass by, then my world suddenly stop and my heart tear into pieces as I saw the wreck soccer ball in the road with sunwoo’s shoes.

“no, I can’t be, my son..!!no..no..nnoo..!!sunwoo!!” I started to cry and kneeled on the ground, my world crush infront of me, it can’t be happening, I still need to be the best father for him, we still have many days to spend with each other.

“sunwoo..!!it can’t be!!no please, sunwoo, come back to appa, appa is sorry for not being a father to you for the last 6 years, appa loves you so much sunwoo,please!!” my heart was stab multiple times, my mind went blank, I put my palm on my face and cry hardly, my life is over now, I’ll never be happy again.

End of pov

“aaapp…pppaa!!!app..pa!!appa!!” sehun froze from where he was, he slowly turn his head on his back, he widen his eyes and more tears stream down his face. Sunwoo was standing infront of him, with a little bruise in his knee but other than that he was fine and ALIVE.

“SUNWOO..!!” sehun immediately stand up and hug his son tightly still crying hard. He was happy to see that his son is alive. He securely held him in his arms and caresses his hair. Continuously thanking god for saving his son.

“appa don’t cry now, I don’t want to see you cry” sehun look at his son with his tear stain face and smile at him.

“appa was just so happy to see sunwoo safe and alive, appa thought that sunwoo leave me already like umma did, but appa will never cry if sunwoo promise that he will never leave appa forever” sehun’s felt like there is fireworks in his heart upon seeing his son smile widely at him. He thank god that he can still see his smile like that, that god didn’t took his son away from him like what they did to his wife. All he need to do is to make things right and be the good father to his son.

“I promise!!sunwoo will never leave appa forever and ever!!” 

*im sorry for my wrong grammar and some typos, i was actually in a hurry while doing this story..^^

hope you like it..*