There's psychology behind this--’reciprocal liking’ I think is what it's called. You tend to like someone better after knowing they like you. It has something to do with self esteem boosts. Of course, this applies to building friendship more than building a love life, but I don't have really have another way to explain the phenomenon going on inside of me.

After Lay's painfully unromantic but romantic confession, I'm left reevaluating what I really think about him. I have more questions now than ever, questions for him and for myself. But before I hear any more from him, I want to think.

It seems so nonsensical, it seems wrong, even, what I'm about to say. But put aside the logic and the psychology, I'm starting to see Lay differently. Of course I've always known he's hot and he's considerate and he's perfect boyfriend material. Still, I can't help but doubt what I'm feeling--maybe I'm just getting tided over by emotion and circumstances. Maybe this is wrong. Why, you're probably asking, is it so wrong? Well, the thing is, we've been friends for such a long time, so to suddenly transition into something more seems… I don’t know.

But I’m thinking it over. Why not give it a try? Isn’t dating just another form of hanging out? It’s just a label. So if we get rid of all emotional ties for a second, then Lay and I have practically been dating for six years. It’s just that we’re labeling it differently this time. Right?

Maybe Chanyeol is right--I tend to over-think the minutest details. But the idea of dating Lay, weird as it seems, isn’t that weird at all. My mother’s been rooting for him for years. (So maybe moms know a thing or two.) And I’ve liked him romantically once before--it isn’t hard to bring that back. But that brings me to another question: did I have residual feelings for Lay? Is this some form of suppression that somehow found release when triggered by Lay’s confession?

Maybe it is.

Maybe it isn’t so bad.

This happens all the time, right?

I think I’ve made a decision.

-

“Something’s different about you.”

“Really?”

“Did you get a haircut? Highlights?”

“Nope.”

“New makeup routine?”

“No. I haven’t done anything new. But I’m surprised you know all these girly terms.”

“Just because I’m a guy doesn’t mean I don’t know a thing or two about girly terminology. That’s limiting me based on gender stereotypes.”

Oops. I forgot he was part of the gender neutral movement.

“I’m just saying.”

“I’m just saying too.”

“Alright.”

He snapped his fingers. “Ooh! I know!”

“I told you. I didn’t do anything new.”

“You didn’t, you’re right. Hot and smokin’ chips over there did it for you.” He nodded at Lay's direction.

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Did he confess?”

“Are you some sort of stalker?”

“So he did.”

“For Pete’s sake, Yeol.” Sometimes I wish he weren’t so smart.

“Did you say yes?” He was practically bouncing. You know what he reminds me of? Tigger. Yup. He has boundless energy, I swear.

“Yeol, can we please not talk about this here?” Who wants to talk about their almost-love-lives in front of a copy machine?

“It’s a simple yes or no.”

“I said I’d think about it,” I sighed.

“So that’s basically a yes.”

Can he please stop making conclusions about me? Because it irks me that he just always knows. Am I that easy to read? That’s depressing.

I started walking away.

“Hey! Don’t forget your copies!”

I grabbed it from his hands and kept walking.

“Do I hear wedding bells in the air?”

“Can you not?” I shushed him. His voice is seriously always on loudspeaker. I don’t want to be labeled as the officemate who hooks up with every

guy, because really, I take relationships more seriously than that.

“Sorry. I just got ahead of myself for a second there.”

“Yeah. I could tell.”

“But how did he tell you? I want all the juicy details.”

“Are you a girl?” Chanyeol just keeps on surprising me.

He gave me a look. “Stop the stereotyping!”

“I can’t help it! You’re such a gossip-monger.”

“Fine. Well, I want to be invited to the wedding, okay?”

I smacked his arm.

“Ouch. You need to control the violence.”

“You need to control your imagination.” An image of Lay waiting for me at the altar suddenly came to me unbidden.

He planted a seed in my brain. Again. He seriously needs to stop doing that to me.

So now, here I am, imagining all sorts of silly things. And it's actually not so bad.

--

Crappy chapter yet again. Um... I've just been trying to update in the best way I could. Gah.

As for an update in the real world... It's been hectic so far, but I quite like it here, guys! :D My roommates are awesome, so everything's immediately better already. Haha

Sorry if my comment replies have now become shorter or fragmented. I'll try to become a better conversationalist in the future. (Is that even a word?)