Review for 'Together Forever in Spirit' by hellhathfury

Title (10/10) :  ​ 
The title's rather original and it has a deep meaning within the story. It was a good choice to make it the title.

Description&Foreword (6/10) :  
The description was really vague. With a description like that, I wouldn't read the story; I would just press the back arrow. I understand that it's a one shot, so maybe make the description more ambiguous so you don't give too much away.

Content&Plot (20/20) : 
It was really touching. My eyes were watery at a few points. You expressed the feelings of Sunggyu's sadness very well. To be honest, I don't feel the same way about their love for eachother. Maybe if there was another segment where it focused on a memory of theirs, because it skipped from Sunggyu asking her out to their proposal. Perhaps if there was a special lovey-dovey moment in the middle of that, the readers could feel the bond of the couple more, thus increasing the sorrow which you had expressed so well.

Characters (9/10) : 
The protagonist, Sunggyu, was a really nice character. I think you're good with characters, giving them a past and a present, making them 4-D .. It's something that a lot of people have trouble with, so mad props to you! I know you meant for this to be a 'you' fic, as in we should apply our own names to the '____' , but I don't recommend it because quite honestly, it looks stupid and it's not attractive. Instead of the blank, you should insert a name and annhilate the 'you' factor in it. Every reader is different, and maybe we're not like how you planned the character. 

Grammar&Spelling (9/10) : 
There are a few typos here and there, but there's nothing that's really noticeable. There might be about 5 minor typos, but nothing a little spell check and/or a careful read-over couldn't fix. I'll just point out the ones I noticed.

At the end of the first memory :

Your mistake : "Blushing slightly, Sunggyu just grimaced, "Ah... Well, I don't know you so why don't you tell me you're name?"
Correction : "Blushing slightly, Sunggyu just grimaced, "Ah... Well, I don't know you so why don't you tell me your name?"

Your mistake : "In return, he was awarded with the first genuine smile he'd seen on ____ face." 
Correction : "In return, he was awarded with the first  genuine smile he'd seen on ____'s face."

I don't think I need to explain these errors; they're pretty self-explanatory. 

At the beginning (ish) -- in the middle of the first paragraph postponing honeymoon segment :

Your mistake : ''He decided to order ahead, already knowing what you'd want."
Correction : "He decided to order ahead, already knowing what ____ wanted." 

You were being inconsistent. If through the entire fic you called her "____", then you should continue to do that. I'm pretty sure this is just a slip up but I'll say it: pick one or the other. Using both will only confuse the reader or make them disinterested. (or you could go with my recommendation next time and actually use a name.) 

There are probably a few more typos other than the ones I've mentioned. The best way to get rid of typos and grammar mistakes is to: 
1. Use a spell check, but it won't pick up errors such as the ones I focused on above.
2. Get someone who's good with English and grammar to read it over before you publish it. If you can, get maybe two or three people to do that. 
3. Read it out loud to yourself. It can be in a whisper or anything really. Just make sure it's out loud and not rushed. When you silently read, it's hard to not read quickly. But reading it out loud helps ensures you go through more details. 

Organization/Flow (9/10) :
Normally, it's fine. There's nothing wrong with the flow. The only thing is, I think it should either be in all italics or all without, because it's confusing. Normally, in a story's dialogue, it's not put in italics. I'm not sure why you put it in italics in the first place. It confuses the reader because you specifically said that the italics is the past and the non-italic is the present. If it weren't for the seperation line, I would've been really lost.

Appearance (9/10) : 
It's easy to read the story because you don't have a distracting background (or one at all), but maybe you should get a poster done. Usually, as a reader, when one clicks a story to check it out, one of the first things they spot, along with the description and foreword is the poster. A poster can tell a lot about a story; the mood, perhaps the genre, and the main characters. I would recommend some shops but I've never requested for a poster nor have I looked into the shops.

Enjoyment (18/20) : 
Despite all the critisms I've given you, I think this is a wonderful story and you're also a great writer. I hope for you the best with your future works and that I was of some use. (:

Total : 90/100 -- congratulations! you made it to our hall of fame!