aznawzmao : The Demon Wears Glasses

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Review for 'The Demon Wears Glasses' by aznawzmao

reviewed by Jangmii

Title (6/10) :

You know, I've read all the chapters you have up and I don't find the title revelant to anything. Even if it did, it's not exactly unique or eye catching. I would recommended, perhaps, changing the title? 

 

Description&Foreword (7/10) :

The description and foreword are, to some extent, revolved around being a perfectionist. Again, I don't see the revelance to the story other then the first chapter or so where Soo-yeon got a better score than Yunho. This should be revised. 

 

Content&Plot (18/20) :

Nothing has been revealed yet, but I feel like when Yunho finds out, everything'll be revealed. xD 

 

Characters (7/10) :

I think you're doing a good job with the characters. Because this is written in 3rd person POV, maybe you should voice out the thoughts of characters during emotional points more and that will assist you on making the characters more 3d. 

 

Grammar&Spelling (9/10) :  

There's not many actual flaws in your writing. Maybe you should proof-readit a few times before you publish it or use an auto-corrector to annihilate any accidental mistakes. 

 

Organization/Flow (7/10) :

It's sometimes confusing to read. I feel like everything's kind of jumbled up. So many things are happening at once and nothing's explained fully. Because it's so easily to get lost with what's happening, readers may lose interest. 

 

Appearance (7/10) :

The poster's alright, it's nicely made and it shows the characters and the title.. but there's no mood to it. There's no feelings of mystery or anything that would draw my attention. The background is.. no offense, but the background is badly made. First off, it's too bright, it drew my attention from reading a few times. Secondly, the photo shop of the flower is really unpolished; it looks like it's half finished.

 

Enjoyment (17/20) :

I'm curious as to what's happening, so mad props tot you for that. It's an average story. A few tweaks here and there and it may become a great story. (: 

 

Total : 78/100

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Glamgirls #1
AFF username :Glamgirls
AFF profile link :http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/489625
Story title :That One Person, Her
Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/544263/that-one-person-her-jaejoong-jaesica-jessica-yunho-yunsica
Genres :romantic, sad
Does your story include : (yes or no)
- :no
-Yuri :no
-Rated :PG
- :no
Preferred Reviewer : This is triangle love, the difference is Yunho who was her brother love her damn much.. I want a darker pic anw~
hellhathfury #2
AFF Username : hellhathfury
Story Title : A Chance
Story Link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/354354/a-chance-angst-infinite-oneshot-sunggyu-you-love-moody
Rated R//Yuri//Other warnings : N/A
Genre : Angst?
Preferred Reviewer : Anyone is fine
Any comments : I had another story reviewed from here so I know some of the aspects are lacking/bad/not recommended, but this is an old story. I don't particularly want to change it (like the description/forward/poster) because when I look back I can see how I grew as a writer and learned from my mistakes. I will appreciate any criticism, but just wanted to let the reviewer know this... I'm not ignoring previous advice or advice I will receive from this review.
serendipity-- #3
AFF username : serendipity--
AFF profile link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/365299
Story title : Forevermore
Story link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/461705/forevermore-sad-exo-baekhyun-chanyeol-baekyeol-chanbaek-exocbcontest
Genres : angst, sad
Does your story include : (yes or no)
- : yes
-Yuri : no
-Rated : no
- : no
Preferred Reviewer : Jangmii
Any comments / requests to your reviewer : thank you in advance! :) take all the time you need ^^
Mandm33 #4
Chapter 34: Thanks! Loved the review!
immortalevanescence #5
AFF Username : immortalevanescence
From a scale from 1 - 10; 1 being not very, 10 being fully, how fluent are you in English? : 9 (i was born here but I'm not the best writer out there)
On average, how many days a week are you active on AFF? : I'm usually on every day, but usually only for an hour or so on the weekdays. Monday is my busiest day, and I'll try my best to be on that day. My weekends are quite empty; my least busy day is Sunday. is this too much info otl
On average, how long (on average) does it take you to read a story and write a review? : well it obviously depends on the length of a story. ofc i'll try to to it right after i finish the story. On average I'd say 2-5 days (the weekend being included in those days, please)
What genres of stories do you prefer to review and which do you not? : Anything, really, except I'd say I don't think I'd be very good at reviewing psychological fanfiction/fanfiction where you're supposed to figure things out by yourself because my common sense skills are definitely not top notch. ALSO NO HORROR PLEASE
Do you accept / yuri/ rated/ ? : Sure
Portfolio (optional) : dont have one orz ouo
Aidoll #6
Chapter 28: Organization/ Flow: Yeah? I wanted to specify, you know, the exact time and I guess it was the easiest way. I'm sorry about the rainbow! I found myself lost in time in the story without the time thingy, that's why I added it so it won't confused the readers. I won't happen in other fics I promised XD
Appearance : Thanks! Yes i made it myself^^ No, I don't work in a poster shop because I have too much school work and I don't really have time, I barely have time to write a fic >.> Ahh...some readers doesn't like a background color so I didn't put one.

Enjoyment: I'm glad you liked the story and thanks for subscribing! I will try to update...hum..soon.

Yeah, i did wait for a looong time. I mean, I come everyday to see if someone took an interested to review it and it still stays in the "Queue" section after a while. I was sad no one picked my story D; Then you saw all the other stories posted after mine been in the "In progress" section...after a few days, they are completed and mine is still...*sigh* I was like, "My story isn't that good huh?" So no one wanna read it! Haha that's what I felt Dx Anyway, I liked it! It was worth waiting, I was smiling while reading the review! And nope, I do know you had your life and stuffs so it's okay^^
Aidoll #7
Chapter 28: Thanks awkwardtofu211 for the review!

To Jangmii : it's okay, it was worth it!

Back to awkwardtofu211 :

Description/Foreword : oh I'm sorry, I thought writing "sequel" was enough for people to understand that it's after Trapped, since I also specified in the sequel that this sorry was the prequel :/

Content/Plot : Sunggyu got the job after the interview at the end of the story. I will try to add more hype and intensity in my next chapters or fic! I know right? That's what I don't want to! isn't something to be pleasurable indeed. Haha I read some fics like that too and it's really unrealistic, that's also one of the reason I don't let them fall in love together, I just can't. POV? I've never written a POV but I guess I'll try it someday? ^^;;

Grammar/Spelling : Aish, I knew I had a lot of mistakes. For the mistake #7: you know that people does the thousand steps because they are thinking like really deeply? And then I said "he stopped", so it means that he found the solution? XD Sorry if you didn't understand because it made sense to me so I thought it made sense to everybody lol

For real? I really didn't know there are such shop here! But if you really can beta for me, I don't have to search for one, right? right? :D
Elimona #8
I've applied! ^.^
tessadahl #9
AFF Username: tessadahl
AFF Profile Link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/profile/view/338211
Story title: An Idol's Guilt And A Fangirl's Defense
Story link: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/501114/an-idol-s-guilt-and-a-fangirl-s-defense-hoya-infinite-murder-owncharacter
Genres: murder, mystery
Does your story include: (all the above you mentioned) NO
Preferred reviewer: ScreamingMidget
Any comments: English is not my first language. And please be harsh. Thank you ^^
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