Warning: Character Death

There are a few switches in scenes so it might get a little confusing, but I'll explain everything in the end A/N. 

Taemin's fists were shaking and his face was flushed red while he stared. He was the one supposed to be lying there, in that coffin that held his lover’s body.  

Tampered brakes, they told him.

Taemin had stared at them in disbelief even though he knew about it. He was the one driving at that time. He tried to brake. He really did. He slammed them hard, even pulled the clutch at the last moment. But nothing worked. They had been on the way out to celebrate their 5th year of relationship. 5 years - longer than anyone else would have stayed with him when he kept so many secrets. Jinki didn't even know but he trusted Taemin all the same. It was not fair. Taemin did it to protect Jinki; but in the end he killed his lover. He killed the only one who loved him unconditionally. And that in turn killed him even while he was breathing.

He was going to tell him. Taemin wanted to tell Jinki. He wanted to propose and confess everything. Confess his feelings, confess his secrets, confess his profession. But Jinki never got to know the truth. He never had the chance. He watched helplessly while the incoming cars rammed into Jinki's side of the car. He tried to fishtail, tried to take the damage, but it was fruitless. Jinki was out before he could even realize what was happening. Jinki didn't even know what got him. The door smashed him in and trapped him in the seat. He had been swung across the seat, landing his head on Taemin's lap awkwardly.

It was long after the car had stopped spinning but Taemin had sat there, staring wide-eyed at Jinki laying there on his lap. He wanted to scream but it was almost as if his voice was dead. The airbag never expanded, an obvious attempt for his life. But there he sat, nearly unharmed apart from some glass shards, while Jinki was crumpled in his seat.

His hands were shaking when he finally found the courage to touch Jinki's bloody face. "I-it's okay..." he whispered. "Y-you're okay..." Taemin treaded fingers through Jinki's hair, matted and sticky with crimson blood. He through Jinki's hair, just like the way he would sooth Jinki to sleep every night. "You're going to be okay."

Jinki's eyes were half-lidded, legs trapped between the dashboard and the door. He had just been laughing moments ago, telling Taemin about something Kibum had said.

"Kibum said that you aren't what you look like," Jinki had teased. "He still sees you as a cute little kid sometimes but we both know you're a monster, aren't you? It must be because he still cooks for you, you know? He can't see you as an adult when you're burning eggs all the time," Jinki laughed a silent laugh, his eyes disappearing into slits. Then he realized Taemin fumbling with the brakes and his eyes went wide instead.

"Is something wrong, Min-" he was still looking with concern at Taemin without any awareness that behind was a car coming straight at him. That had been the last words he spoke.

It was only when Taemin screamed "You have to be okay!" did he realize that he was weeping. His tears were falling upon Jinki's bloodied face. "Come on, Jinki, come on... Hyung!" He had cupped Jinki's face in his palms, bending over despite the aches in his ribs. He placed chaste kisses over Jinki's face. Jinki used to giggle when Taemin did that. He would laugh, and say it was ticklish, and he would try to catch Taemin's lips in his own. But Jinki was laying there still and unmoving.

"Hyung, hyung," Taemin sobbed. His hands shook so much that Jinki was shaking along with him. "Please, hyung, I'll tell you everything. Everything, hyung. Just please, please, please..."

But Taemin knew. He knew it when he was holding Jinki. He could feel it. There wasn't a pulse. Curse his profession for knowing how to feel for pulses instinctively. Curse his profession for landing them in this position. Curse his profession for knowing only to kill. Why didn't he know how to save? Why?!

"I'm going to kill them. Kill them all," Taemin hissed, fist shaking, eyes glassy. He wouldn't cry. Not in public, not like this. They took away his only weakness, they took away the only thing that mattered. Now he is invincible; nothing else could hurt him anymore. "I'll kill them all."

"And then what?" Kibum asked, squeezing Taemin's shoulder stiffly. "And then what, Min? Jinki's gone, hon. Nothing's going to change."

Taemin turned to face his partner with a grimace. Kibum had been by his side for longer than he remembered. Even when he started dating, Kibum had put up with his requests, put up with acting like a motherly roommate. For a deadly killer to put up such an act, Taemin was eternally grateful to get a partner like this. For always protecting Jinki when he couldn't, he owed Kibum more than he could pay back.

"And then nothing." Taemin smiled a sad smile, avoiding Kibum's eyes. He gave a slow laugh, his shoulders shaking along, as if holding back the heavy dams behind eyes. "And then nothing, hyung." Taemin closed his eyes, tilting back his head and his body sagged in exhaustion.

"You're following him?" Kibum asked almost sympathetically.

"Why?" Taemin taunted. "You'd miss me?" Taemin squeezed out a chuckle. "You're gonna convince me not to?"

"I don't think I can," Kibum said after a moment. "You love him. Anyone could see that. Trying to stop you would just hurt us both in the end. But... I think I'm going to miss my partner."

Taemin gulped back the lump in his throat, swallowing the tears back once more. "Thanks hyung, I'll pay you back in our next life. I owe you."

"Min," Kibum started, taking Taemin's wrist gently and leaning in to his ear. "He loved you. He loved you so much. He knew, Min. He found out ages ago, when he accidentally saw one of our missions delivered and placed in the refrigerator. He was looking for food when he saw. He understood, Min-ah, but he wasn't afraid. He really is a special one, he loved you with everything he had. He worried for you every time you were out, and he would sit on the couch, praying. Just praying that you would come home safe. He knew about everything, but he waited for you to tell him officially. Kill those bastards. Jinki didn't deserve this. He really didn't deserve any of this."

That did it for Taemin because he was not just tearing. He was sobbing. Sobbing right into Kibum's arms because it hurts. Jinki had loved him so much. So much that it hurts. Jinki deserved the truth from his own mouth. Jinki, Jinki, Jinki. His beloved Jinki. How could anyone love anyone more than Jinki did for him? Jinki, his patiently loving Jinki. How could they take away someone so precious? He was so gentle, so loving, so cheerful. If the entire world was made of Jinkis, it would have been a happy world, a peaceful one. His smile would brighten up even the worst days, his tears was like watching a puppy get killed. It hurt nearly physically. Even Kibum, who never took a liking to any of Taemin's previous partners, liked Jinki. Kibum, the sharp-tongued, actually spoke to Jinki in gentle tones with genuine laughter. Their lives in the past were dark and bleak. They never knew when they could die, and laughter was never really on their mind. But with Jinki, it was like the most natural thing on earth. Oh, Jinki, his warm warm Jinki. His hugs were the best damn thing in the world. In Kibum's arms, Taemin just couldn't help but miss Jinki's warm cuddles.

"It-it's not fair... It's not fair," Taemin choked out, fists crumpling Kibum's shirt by the collar. Kibum was right. Jinki didn't deserve it. Jinki didn't deserve an end like this. Jinki deserves the sweetest, the happiest ending in the entire galaxy. Jinki deserves the most cliche, fairytale endings of happily ever after. Not this. Definitely not this. Kibum just pat Taemin's hair soothingly. He knew Taemin needed this. Taemin needed to cry everything out, he needed a closure.

"No, no it isn't."

Kibum stood in front of three tombstones. They sat on the mountain top and faced the sea.

"Jinki hyung loves the mountain breeze, but he loves the sea too," Taemin had said. "He has followed me around even after knowing my background. This time, I'll follow him wherever he goes. This time, I'll do the following."

Kibum had seen it all. Taemin was by no means a weak person. Past partners had dumped the man after finding out just a fraction of what they really did. Yet, Taemin never batted an eye, never shed a tear. For such a man to crumple under nightmares that left him screaming was like watching the impossible made possible. It scared Kibum.

Kibum placed down bouquets in front of one marked,

Lee Jinki

1989-2014

The sunshine and happy virus. You will always be loved.

And the other marked,

Lee Taemin

1993-2015

Let's find a better ending in our next life.

Kibum turned to the last tombstone, staring at it for a long moment.

Kim Key

1991-2015

Let's all start anew.

I know this is a little confusing, especially because off all the scene changes. But in simple terms, Min and Key (alter names for Taemin and Kibum) are missioned assassins. They live their lives constantly hunting and getting hunted (where Taemin rants about how he only knows how to kill).

Taemin's car brakes were tampered by people trying to assassinate him, but unfortunately he was with Jinki and Jinki passed away from the accident. That was on the day of their 5th date-sary and Taemin was planning to tell Jinki everything that night and propose if Jinki did not run after knowing the truth about him.

At the ending, Taemin killed himself after he finished his last mission - killing those who caused Jinki's death. That took about a year (that's why the difference in dates). Taemin wanted to bury Jinki with things that Jinki enjoyed (the mountains and the sea), and Taemin wanted to follow this time (following Jinki to be buried in the place that Jinki would love).

I think the one most people won't understand is Kim Key's death. Kibum staged Key's death because he saw how much Jinki's death affected Taemin. He didn't want to live a life like that anymore, and by killing Key, he wanted to start life afresh as Kim Kibum. Together with Min, Key finished his last mission and "killed himself".

Updated May 6, 2014

I don't even know where this fic came from. I was with my parents driving over borders and we had time so I started typing this out suddenly. But yea, I love my angst.

I've been listening to P!nk all day and all night today and damn her songs are awesome. I think I might write a fic inspired by one of her songs or something cause her lyrics are awesome. Any P!nk fans out there want to leave me some suggestions? xD Cause I really can't choose. All her songs are so awesome.