I sat quietly on a bench waiting for them. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining and there was a slight breeze. I couldn't believe how empty the park was till I saw the girls walking up, then it hit me that it was in the middle of a school day. They were wearing their school uniforms and looking around nervously.

"Are you guys skipping?" I said in disbelief. Nana, I could see skipping but not the other girls. I couldn't believe I had caused them to skip. As they got closer, I could see Nanak frustration, Eun-Ha nervousness and Se-yi contentment with life.

"Where the hell have you been?" Eun-ha asked first when they reached me. It surprised her and me by the harshness in her voice. I saw her eyes slowly drift downward to notice the bruises and scratches. I realized then I might should've waited a few days before contacting them. Nana had looked me over without showing a glimpse of emotion.

"Why haven't you been in school?" Se-yi started.

"Or answering any of our phone calls or texts?" Eun-ha finished. Nana was silent as usual. I could feel her eyes watching me intently though; waiting for her moment to attack.

"i've been hiding out, trying to forget certain things" I said quietly trying not to portray to much emotion.

"Like the fact your sunjae is an idol" Eun-ha said too excitedly as her fan girl self came out.

"or the fact seol-Chan didn't tell you" Se-yi added.

"how are you doing with all this?" Nana said suddenly causing the two to look up at her.

"I don't know" I said standing up. "Lets go to a table so we can all sit" I had seen one not to far away from the bench. We walked quietly to the table and as we sat I let up a cigarette. I took a deep drag and pull the smoke out towards the sky.

"Old habits die hard" Nana said sarcastically. I could tell she meant more than just the smoking. Eun-ha and Se-yi looked between us nervously.

"so....you really didn't know?" Eun-ha said breaking the silence. She was trying to not show just how excited she was about all of this. I was tempted to tell her that of course I knew, this was just all one big ploy.

"No....I asked him once as a joke but he laughed it off. I don't know how i missed all the signs." I said sighing deeply.

"well to be fair, they did just come out with a song Sunday and they started promoting this week" Eun-ha said trying to be sweet but took my meaning the wrong way. She was right his face was everywhere. If I hadn't found out Saturday, I would've known by now.

" I don't think that is what she meant" Nana said for me. I smirked at her and Eun-ha blushed.

"has seol-chan said anything?" I tried to say as casual as possible. The looked between each other as if to who was going to answer.

" not until today....when we were trying to leave...he wanted us to ask you to let Sungjae explain" Se-yi said slowly. I started picking at a scratch on the table to have something to do.

" but that's it...he wouldn't even talk about it at the party and not a single word till today" Eun-ha added when I didn't speak. Idol secrecy i thought to myself.

"what am i supposed to do?" I asked quietly to no one in particular.

"let him explain" Nana answered first. I looked at her surprised she was taking his side. I never imagined she would be on his side.

"he did look very upset Saturday after you left" Se-yi added also taking his side.

"i do think i heard him crying" Eun-ha said adding on to what Se-yi had said. They all turned to me looking for a response and I still didn't know what to do. Part of me wanted to be mad and never forgive him. He had lied; how was I suppose to trust him again. The other part wanted to hear him out and see what he had to say, see what his reasons were, plus just see him.

"I need to think about it..." was all I could think of to say. I wasn't ready to give a definite answer just yet.

" it really is all so weird" Eun-ha said after a moment of silence. We all looked up at her questioning.

"I mean at a random bookstore you meet a member of one of the hottest groups....like come on...a bookstore? Who knew Idols really read.." Eun-ha said quickly. We all laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. I finally felt my heart lighten up at a bit. Once I stated laughing it was hard for me to stop. Tears were rolling down my face before I calmed down again.

"this is so much better than school" Nana said with a smile on her face.

"lets go eat!" Eun-ha said suddenly. We all nodded in agreement. My stomach started growling showing just how hungry I was. We quickly picked a little shop near by. It was dark before we finally separated. I pulled out my phone and started to check my messages. Most of them were from the group looking for me. The rest were from Sungjae;he apologized, said he missed me, to let him explain, just said hey, he missed me. I erased all of the voicemails before listening to them. I knew I couldn't handle to hear his voice again, not yet. I walked to my apartment that I hadn't been to in days. I grabbed the mail and without looking threw it onto the counter. My apartment was small, only a studio apartment. I had moved here to get out if my old neighborhood and be closer to.the school. I pulled the money out of my pocket and laid it on top of the mail. It was crazy how much I had earned in the past few days but looking at myself in the mirror I knew it wasn't worth it. My body was not happy with me.

I sat on my bed and leaned against the wall. What was I to do? He was an Idol now. Idols and people like me do not mix. We are from two different worlds. However...I still missed him. I still wanted to talk to him. Would I be able to throw all this away because of his job and status? Even when he wanted to talk to me, to be with me? I took a deep breath and laid down. I don't have to figure this out tonight I thought to myself before closing my eyes.

A/N i am in south Africa, sorry taking so long and sorry for the mistakes. Im doing this on my phone!! South Africa has the worst internet!! I can't even watch the shows :( if you know of any websites you can download shows from Safely please tell me!!! Thanks a lot for reading!!