I talked someone to the phone and went back, I saw Jessica’s fingers move, so I called the personal doctor urgently, and He come with two nurses

The doctor examined her and after a few test, he smiled to DongHae

“She is fine now…” the doctor revealed

DongHae was shaking in happiness, the doctor and nurses leave them both, DongHae slowly walk over to her, He saw Jessica looking to the other side

“thank God, you are fine…” he said as he knelt down while holding her hand

But Jessica didn’t look at him

 and just pulled her hand back, DongHae was kind of taken aback

“is there something wrong?” he asked

Now she faced him, she slowly sat up straight properly

“I can’t do it…” she said as she stop DongHae from helping her

“Do You need anything?” he asked her worriedly

“Leave me alone…” she commanded with a straight face

“But…” He still insisted

“I’ll leave or you’ll leave!!!” she shouted to her in a high voice

“Sica?” he pleaded

“just please leave me alone…” she too pleaded to him as she tear

DongHae just looked at her with a pleading eyes telling how much he wants to take good care of her, but he can’t do anything because she is no longer to him

“Araso… I’ll leave…” he said before he turned around and left

Jessica just sat there and tried to remember what happened, she looked at the digital clock with indicated time and day, she felt she sleep for a decade and she is right, she sleeps more than a month

When she saw DongHae, she wanted to run and  hugged him and thanked him that he is the person she first saw when she open her eyes but she just stop and control herself, it’s too much, everything is to much

//

When She woke up, she made a decision for herself, it’s time to renew everything, she come back to the lime light again, reconcile with her soshi sister and to her fans, to her family and to her oppas, but except with the two guys who are still madly in love with her

While she was doing fine and put all her thinking in their work, there are two persons suffered from all of this, she always avoided the two and tell to Soo Man not to make schedule with the two. She wanted space and time for herself, now that she was given a second life, a lot of things disappear from her, her child, herself worth, her friend and the love of her life, and now to make everything back into pieces, she must start it within herself, even thought she hurt herself

She took all of the things that make her remember the two guys, she burned it  on their dorm rooftop because she knew that those things are the witness of their pain

“Kyu oppa, mianhe if I can’t return your love…” she just muttered while looking at the burning picture of them

Then she took her and DongHae’s wedding picture

she looked at it first and hugged it tightly

“oppa if you just know how happy I am to be with you…” she said as she took a last look of their wedding pictures with their happy smiles, before she throw it

The fire started at the top of the frame until it reaches in the middle, the fire separated them and it slowly turned to dark ash

//

While Jessica is trying to have a normal life just by herself, DongHae was in disaster, he didn’t finished his commitments because he was always drunk, LeeTeuk couldn’t handle him even Lee Soo Man, he just drink and drink every second of the day, he was like a living dead, He tries to call Sica but she changed her number, She tried to see her but her members try to stop them, it was killing him not to see or talked to her, he wanted another chance but she was stopping it to happen

//

KyuHyun was also in deep depression because like DongHae, she was avoiding him but his depression is nothing compare to DongHae, because there is SeoHyun who is always there for him, try to ease the pain for him and day by day he didn’t noticed that an infatuation grew between them

//

As weeks pass, DongHae become not the DongHae they knew before, he was in total mess, he screw everything, he was not ready to face the day waiting for him without Jessica

It was Tae Yeon’s birthday celebration, all her closest friends are just invited, she is celebrating it at their dorm, only a fewSUJU member came, KyuHyun was not there due to overseas solo commitment and DongHae was not there because LeeTeuk told her not too to avoid any misunderstanding and trouble

Everyone was having fun while Jessica stay in her room and read a book on her bed, leaning against the headboard

Then he heard loud noises from the outside, she stood up and took a peak as she slowly opened the door

She was shocked to see DongHae in that worst state, he was drunk

“taeYeon-ah, why didn’t…hic…you…hic… invite me…?” he asked in a drunken state

“DongHae, why are you here?” LeeTeuk asked as he tried to help him but He just stopped him

“are you trying to keep Sica away from me?” he asked kind of angry

“Ani, oppa…” TaeYeon explained

“but why is she avoiding… hic… me… hic…?” he said as he gulped more

All of the people are looking to him because of the scene he was making

“DongHae, go home please..” Jessica said to him

They all looked at the direction where they heard the voice, they saw Jessica standing in front of her bedroom

“Sica?” DongHae said as she approached Sica and hugged her but Sica didn’t hug him back, DongHae realized her coldness

“you are drunk… go home…” she just plainly said

“I come here to see…hic.. you…” he said as he tried to held her hand

“please…go home…” Jessica shooed him

DongHae smirked in sarcasm as she heard her shooing him away

“DUMB!!! SICA!!!! WHY ARE YOU HEARTLESS?” he shouted to her

But she didn’t show any emotion

“Sica, I’m tired of this but I won’t give up because I love you… please… don’t be like this…” he said as he knelt down and hugged her from her waist

“let go of me…” Jessica said as she struggle to escape from his tight tug

She pushed him that made him landed on the floor, he landed because he was kind of dizzy and he is drunk plus the fact that she doesn’t want to see him

“go home… you are just ruining TaeYeon’s special day…” she said before she turned around

“why are you…hic… doing this to me?” he asked while EunHyuk help him stood up

Jessica turned around and looked at him straight in his eyes and said

“Don’t you get it? I decided to be alone… I decided not to be with any one of the both of you… don’t hope anymore, the Jessica you knew before died already, I decided not to choose for our own good, everything happen is too much for all of us, let’s just accept that all of us ended here… so please… stop acting like you are the only one who hurt and sulked yourself with alcohol because God knows how I wanted to be with you, but how will I fight for it, if I knew I that both of are lost, just give me some time to fix myself and someday the day come that both of us can still be together and still feel the same way but now is not the right time, let’s just rest our hearts for a while…” she said while crying

“Jessica…” DongHae called her but Jessica went in her room leaving the rest outside

As Jessica close the door, she can’t help but to lean against it for a while, while DongHae went to her door, he wanted to knocked but what she said keep replaying in his mind

“DongHae… mianhe….” Jessica said between her sobs

“Jessica, Saranghe…” DongHae said while resting his forehead against the door

Both are sobbing for the lost of each other’s love towards to one another

TBC…

here is chapter 21, guys, so sad right?

comments please... :)