Of course he knew that Heechul still loved Hangeng...

Siwon left the clinic and walked slowly across the parking area. He knew it, but this didn't mean that he understood it.

He sighted deeply and grabbed a pack of cigarettes that he always had in his pocket. He actually didn't smoke, but in some situations – mostly when he left Heechul – he needed a cigarette to calm down. He lighted one and took a deep breath.

Siwon couldn't comprehend that Heechul still loved Hangeng after all he had been through.

Of course, Hangeng had been a close friend do both of them and Siwon was always glad to be his friend, but since he had become famous, Hangeng transfered into a selfish heedless idiot.

Siwon had never thought that of all things Hangeng would be the person who changes like this.

He, Heechul and Hangeng had been friends since elementary school and they knew each other to the core. Hangeng and Heechul had been a couple since their last year of Highschool and even if Siwon felt a little jealous about the closeness of his two best friends, he was happy for them. And proud, since they'd been the first gay students at their school that officially stood by their relationship.

Hangeng had always been a great singer and it was pretty clear that he would try to gain a foothold in music business after school. Siwon and Heechul supported him as much as possible, but – to be honest – noone of them thought that he will have success. Yes, he was a great singer, but how many teenagers that dream about becoming a star, DO become a star? The quote was quite low.

But Hangeng was ambitious. He recorded some demo tracks and sent it to record labels throughout Korea. He even sent some to China, where his parents came from and where he had spent the first five days of his life.

It had been a shock for both Siwon and Heechul – especially for Heechul –, when Hangeng came to school one day and showed them a letter he received from China. An Indie record label offered him to produce one of his songs and if it succeeded, they would record a complete album.

Heechul simply... went berserk. He slapped Hangeng and yelled at him in front of all students, before tears overwhelmed him and he rushed down the hall, leaving school.

Hangeng couldn't understand why Heechul acted like this. Helplessly, he looked at Siwon and tears built up in his eyes. Minutes ago, he had been the happiest guy in Korea but now he didn't know what to do. Of course he loved Heechul, but why couldn't his friend be happy for him? Didn't he know that THIS was Hangeng's biggest dream?

He met Heechul after school and they decided to stay together, since noone of them wanted to end their relationship. After some days, Heechul learned to cope with the situation and together with Siwon he helped Hangeng with all those necessary preparations.

Their friendship cleared a lot of hurdles throughout the years, so they were optimistic that they will master this one, too.

However, when Hangeng finally left for China, Heechul fell into a deep depression. He couldn't bear the distance from Hangeng and not even Siwon was able to cheer his friend up. Heechul locked himself in his room, refused to eat and waited the whole time for his phone to ring.

He sealed himself off from anybody except Hangeng and waited silently for him to come back.

But Hangeng didn't come back...

His first single had been an unexpected success in China. His first 'holiday', in which he actually wanted to come back to Seoul, must be deferred because the label wanted to produce a second single as soon as possible.

On the phone, he broke it to Heechul as gently as possible, but nevertheless Heechul bursted into tears and begged him to return. He was sure that he couldn't bear another day without Hangeng, but when he said this to his boyfriend, the elder man acted quite gruffly and wanted Heechul to stop overacting.

It had been hard times for Heechul. Siwon wasn't sure if Heechul really loved Hangeng that much or if he simply worked himself up into their relationship. Only after one years, he would experience that you can hardly bear a day – not to mention half a year – without the one you love that much.

However, Siwon and Hangeng wouldn't have expected Heechul's horrible decision.

One day, Siwon got a call from Heechul's parents that their son cut his wrists and laid in the hospital. He drove there immediately and he felt his heart break as soon as he saw Heechul laying in the hospital bed, pale and sleeping, both his wrists wraped in thick dressings.

This might be the moment, Siwon realized how much he loved him and he swore to himself that he would try his best to make Heechul happy again.

The worst thing about Heechul's failed suicide might be Hangeng's reaction. Siwon called him and told him about what had happened to his boyfriend, but Hangeng reacted quite angered again and didn't seem to care – he was obviously annoyed. Siwon was shocked. He was pretty sure that Heechul's depression would deepen, when Hangeng didn't come immediately back to Seoul – even though only for some days.

But of course, he didn't. He said that he couldn't afford some days off because of too many appointments and the needed recordings for his album. When he said this to Heechul, the younger man simply nodded his head and ended the call, wishing that his parents wouldn't have found him before he could die. The pain that Siwon felt when he looked at Heechul was nearly unbearable.

The doctors were really concerened about Heechul's condition. He refused to eat and drink, his thoughts were absent and he collapsed nearly every day. They decided to commit him to the clinic where he stayed since half a year now, still in a deep depression and still loving a man that wasn't worth it.

Siwon took a last drag on his cigarette before he threw it onto the ground.

Maybe (someday) Heechul will realize that Hangeng didn't deserve his love and maybe (someday) Heechul will even fall in love with Siwon...

Maybe the world will end someday...

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Again HanChul/SiChul, I'm sorry for everyone who came here because of YunJae, but I wanted to finish Heechul's past and the reason for his stay in the clinic. I hope you liked it anyway! :) Next chapter will be YunJae again, I promise! :P