BAE SEUL GI POV

[a/n http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fKJhj-ggSY&feature=related ]

taemin oppa slowly closed his eyes..i knew he was gone..no longer living on this world

i looked up and found no one else there instead i heard police sirens and the officers came and the ambulance came and took him away

i rode my motorcycle, it was 4 am

i parked the motorcycle in front of a beach

i started screaming and crying

"WHY!!! WHY!!! WHY!!!"

i yelled over and over again

"UMMA!!APPA!! WHY ARE YOU LETTING ME FEEL SO MUCH PAIN...WHY???!!!"

i clutched my heart " I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHY ARE YOU LETTING ME FEEL SO MUCH PAIN! WHY!!"

"WHY IS THE WORLD SO CRUEL! WHY..why...,"

i just started sobbing

"TAEMIN OPPA!!!! OPPA!,"

i started sobbing..oppa we shouldn't have met..you should have left john when you got the chance..oppa i shouldn't have loved you..you would have still been alive..oppa

i cried and cried

i got back on my motorcycle and let the winter breeze blow through my hair as my head was white as snow

i breathed the cool air...the earth looks so beautiful but its the people that makes it look like trash

taemin oppa...you loved me and protected me till the end but i wasn't able to give you much in the end

this thing called love can bring people so much pain and happiness at the same time...oppa i really loved you and i'm sorry i wasn't able to give you so much but oppa i have someone new i love but i'm afraid he will end up just like you...one who will leave me

i'm afraid yunho oppa will leave me..taemin oppa what will i do when yunho oppa finds out who his dad is...what should i do??

the pain in my heart increased..i knew i wasn't going to live much long either...honestly i didn't want to

i rode to the hospital and i got an appointment with my doctor

"doctor? how much more time do i have?"

"seulgi have you been stressed? have you been feeling pain?"

i didn't answer "honey,your heart its weaker than most people..you don't have a lot of time...whatever your going through..get over it because that just weakens your heart more..you could live i mean you do have the possibilty of a ..."

"how many days," i interuppted coldly

" 3 days,"

i just chuckled "your telling me i only have 5 days to live and yet your still telling me i have a chance of living? get real i'm outta here,"

"seulgi seulgi," i just walked out..i was getting tired of everything

i drove back home to find everyone awake watching the news "seulgi where were you, were you there when it happened?' yunho oppa questioned

"what the hell ya talkin bout," i waved it off "the death of siwon," boa unnie just bluntly commented

"yeah i was there, why do you give a f**k,"

boa unnie was about to slap me but i was able to grab her hand in time, after catching her hand i threw it "it really shouldn't be any of your business what i was doing,"

icouldn't help but release my anger and hurt out on them "how dare you say that to your unnie!" jaejoong oppa furiously yelled

i started getting angrier and i threw everything that was on the kitchen table "you guys don't know how i felt back there, taemin oppa...his first mission was to kill me and then i find out he accidentally fell in love with me so he couldn't bring himself to kill me, and that guy john tried to kill me but  TAEMIN OPPA GOT SHOT INSTEAD AND DIED INSTEAD OF ME!"

i fell to the floor as my hair covered my eyes but that didn't help as they could hear my cries...."HE DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME...HE DIED FOR ME! HE....TAEMIN OPPA WAS ALWAYS WATCHING OVER ME BUT HOW DO I PAY HIM BACK...HIS DEATH!!!"

i continued to cry..everyone was queit

nobody moved they left me alone..knowing i wanted my own space

taemin oppa...goodbye forever

i feel as though i can let you go because i know you are up in heaven..oppa ask for my family's forgiveness and smile..for me

i can finally say goodbye