Jong Kook oppa…. Why can’t it be you?

Ji Hyo let out a single sigh. She wished she could disappear from the world. She wished she could accept the fact that Jong Kook wasn’t there. He wasn’t there when she needed her.

Wind blew and the cold air went into her lungs, making it harder for her to breathe. Ji Hyo placed her hand on the back of her neck, searching for warmth. But warmth wasn’t there. Warmth only existed when Jong Kook was there. Without Jong Kook, there was no warmth in Ji Hyo’s life.

Wind blew once again, followed by a loud sound of a car’s horn. The coldness brought Ji Hyo to the reality. The man standing in front of her was waiting for a response.

“Joong Ki-ah, thank you.” She faked a smile in front of him, not wanting him to recognize her disappointment.

“I was scared to death noona. I didn’t think I could beat those guys up so I acted cool. I guess that went well. Thanks to dramas. Those helped me a lot with the line. Come on, ‘let her go’ is such a cheesy line!!” He tried to joke around and laughed at himself, trying to break the awkwardness. Of course he noticed Ji Hyo’s uncomfortable expression. He knew she didn’t expect to see him.

It didn’t take him long to realize that he was laughing alone. Ji Hyo didn’t seem to be attracted with his joke. The ace was looking vacantly at the traffic. She unconsciously searched for Jong Kook’s car.

There is never me in your heart. I don’t exist in your world. I’m nothing. Joong Ki ran his hand through his head. He had never been that frustrated in his entire life. This is hopeless. I am hopeless. He emphasized the word ‘I’ in his head.

“Waiting for Jong Kook hyung to arrive is useless.” Accidentally he spitted out his words.  He didn’t mean to say it out loud but he was desperate. He didn’t regret saying those things though. He was desperate to get his noona’s attention. And he succeeded.

Ji Hyo turned her head to face him. There was only confusion in her eyes and soon that confusion changed into pain. It never crossed her mind that Joong Ki would say something like that. Oppa will be here. Oppa will be here in just a few seconds. He’ll be here. She ignored Joong Ki’s sentence and reached for her phone in her bag. Just before she dialed Jong Kook’s number, Joong Ki spoke again. This time with impatience in his tone.

“How many times have you tried to call him, noona?! Four or maybe fi—“

“six” Ji Hyo gave a cut in the middle of Joong Ki’s sentence coldly. She held her breath and swallowed hard. Joong Ki watched her in silence as she closed her eyes for a few seconds and sighed. “This will be the seventh.” She looked directly into Joong Ki’s eyes.

It was clear. As clear as the dark night sky. Ji Hyo was hurt, more than anybody in this world. Joong Ki’s words were kinda rude and that hit her hard. But that wasn’t the thing that made her felt the pain. She was hurt because Joong Ki’s words contained the truth.

“Maybe you’re right. Our relationship won’t work out.” She looked at the street again, but this time wasn’t with a vacant stare. She looked away to hide her teary eyes. “Jong Kook oppa and I, we are really different. We’re similar in some ways but…” She stopped to take a deep breath and continued, “You see, we met Eun Hye in a café a few days ago. He said he is over her but I’m not sure about that. He was being honest about everything but still I couldn’t believe him. There are too many ‘buts’ in our relationship.”

“No noona, I didn’t mean it like that. What I was trying to say is you better take a cab.” He panicked when he saw tears streaming down Ji Hyo’s cheeks. He regretted saying the words in the first place. It only made Ji Hyo feels worse and it could ruin her relationship. It’s okay to lie in this kind of situation. Tell her you’re sorry and you’re wrong for saying those things—although you actually think you’re right for saying that. Goodness, Song Joong Ki you’re a just ruined a perfect relationship!! Yah stupid Joong Ki, it is your noona and hyung’s relationship. You’re such an evil monster! Yahh I’m so messed up!!!!

“No Joong Ki-ah, you’re right. This needs to end. If he doesn’t pick up his phone this time, I’ll break up with him.” She said without hesitating. Her eyes showed that she was in fire, between anger and excitement.

“Noona don’t do that!! You’re mind isn’t clear right now. For goodness sake, noona stop it!!” He tried to reach for Ji Hyo’s phone but she already dialed Jong Kook’s number. It was the longest waiting tone they had ever heard of. To be honest, their hearts were beating two times faster than before everytime the phone let out a beeping sound.

Pick it up hyung, pick it up!!  Joong Ki’s mind was hovering in the cold air. He swore he was going to feel guilty for the rest of his life if Jong Kook didn’t answer the phone. If it wasn’t because of the accidental thought he let out earlier, they wouldn’t end up waiting for the final decision like that. It was all now depended on luck.

Oppa I swear if you don’t pick up the phone I’ll say goodbye to you. I’ll say goodbye to the rainy day when our lips first met. I swore I’ll never find warmth anymore. Ji Hyo felt nothing. Her heart was empty and she knew it would be even emptier than that. Without Jong Kook, she didn’t have life. By the fourth beep, Ji Hyo gave up. It’s the end. Oppa this is the end.

“Come on noona how can you decide whether you want to break up with someone or not by just a missed call? Maybe he was busy driving the car. There are so many possibilities!! This doesn’t make sense noona!!” Joong Ki tried to make Ji Hyo to change her mind. But the woman was just too stubborn. But however she was also too scared to face the fact. Worriedly she handed the phone to Joong Ki.

“Yah Joong Ki-ah, hold this. I’m going to die of a heart attack!!” She walked a few meters away, observing Joong Ki from afar.

“Why are you being a coward today??!!” Joong Ki yelled at her and awkwardly looked at the phone.

“Yaah, pick it up if Jong Kook oppa answer!” She yelled again.

Aiishh, what’s wrong with her. She is being ridiculous today. He frowned in disbelief as he walked toward her.

“Noona, stop joking around. You can’t decide to end a relationship like this! Yaah!!” He desperately wanted her to change her mind. It would be purely his fault if the two lovers really break up.

Well, he would have the chance to be together with Ji Hyo, but that wasn’t right. He loved Ji Hyo but he also loved Jong Kook.  He knew his hyung was a really good man and he believed in him. Jong Kook would never hurt Ji Hyo intentionally. Joong Ki never wanted to be a backstabber and there was no way he wanted his hyung to suffer because of him.

Before he reached Ji Hyo, a voice came out from the phone. He was startled and so did Ji Hyo because she saw Joong Ki’s change of expression. Ji Hyo made a gesture telling him to answer the phone. Without thinking any further Joong Ki placed it on his ears. He could hear loud music in the background so he tried to listen more carefully.

“Jong Kook hyung? It’s me, Joong Ki.” He tried to speak louder, worrying that Jong Kook might not hear his voice.

“Hello?” Joong Ki’s eyes were widened when he heard the voice. It wasn’t Jong Kook’s voice. It wasn’t even a man’s voice. It was a woman’s and he thought he had heard of that voice somewhere before. His unsaid question was answered immediately by the person on the other side of the line.

“Ah Joong Ki-ssi, I thought it was Ji Hyo unnie who called. The caller ID said so.  I’m Eun Hye. Sorry, Jong Kook oppa isn’t here at the moment.” She said casually but in a polite way.

Joong Ki’s blood was rushing through his vein. He didn’t know what to say and what to do. If he had the courage to, he would absolutely yell at Eun Hye. He never thought there was really something between Jong Kook and Eun Hye. Now how am I supposed to tell noona about this? I can’t believe this. Jong Kook hyung is with another woman? And that loud sound…. They are in club! He could feel his eyes filled with angers. He wished he could give his hyung a punch on his face. He wished he could give him a lesson he wouldn’t forget for the rest of his life. He wished Jong Kook disappeared from the earth.

He took a deep breath and acted politely in front of Eun Hye although his tone of voice was rather rude, “Why do you have his phone with you, Eun Hye-ssi?”

“Sorry, I can’t hear you!!!” Eun Hye spoke louder, unable to get what Joong Ki was saying. The music in the background was too loud.

“Why do you have his phone with you?!!” Joong Ki reluctantly spoke louder too, almost yelling at her.

“Oh he—“ Suddenly the phone was off. Joong Ki quickly took a look at Ji Hyo’s phone and noticed it was dead. The screen was black and there was no sign of life on it. Shoot, the battery. He began to feel annoyed by Ji Hyo’s clumsiness.

Ji Hyo, who was standing away from him since he started talking on the phone, walked toward him. There was bewilderness in her eyes. She was too scared to hear the conversation back then, so now she tried to dig in for information. However she held back her questions when she saw Joong Ki’s unreadable facial expression.

“Do you want me to tell you the truth or no?” Joong Ki firmly asked her first. She didn’t answer but he knew from the way she looked at him that she wanted an honest question.

“Jong Kook said he can’t pick you up so he wants you to go home by taxi instead.” That was the most convincing lie which had ever come from his mouth. He decided to lie to her. He didn’t want to make everything worse. Joong Ki had a plan and Ji Hyo wasn’t included in it.

“Why?” She naively asked.

“I don’t know. Your phone died before he could explain why.” Another convincing lie came out from Joong Ki’s mouth fluently. He started to believe that he was the best actor—or liar actually—in the entire Korea.

“Ah I see… I’ll call him after I charge my phone, then. I’m quite relieved that he answered the phone. I honestly don’t want to break up with him. He’s the best thing I’ve ever had. I won’t let him go. Thanks for everything Joong Ki-ah.” Ji Hyo said happily. She sounded like a little girl who just received a new doll.

It’s nice seeing her smiling like that. But is it really what I want to see? She’s smiling because I’m lying to her. A lie is a lie, even if it is said for good. He sighed and smiled weakly at her.

Right after Ji Hyo left with a taxi, Joong Ki put out his phone from his jeans pocket. He searched for Jong Kook’s number and tried to dial it. This time, he needed to find the truth. But until the last beeping sound, no one answered it. He tried to call his hyung again, but still there was no answer. Another missed call. This is hopeless. Eun Hye-ssi isn’t going to answer.

But right before he decided to give up, a car stopped in front of him. He observed it carefully but the dark car window made it hard for him to see who the driver was. But soon the door was opened and a man came out from it. It was one and only Kim Jong Kook.

“Hey Joong Ki-ah, how’s the party?”  He greeted him smilingly but there was something in his eyes that Joong Ki couldn’t understand. He looked friendly yet somehow anxious. His eyes wandered around; apparently he was looking for Ji Hyo.

Joong Ki answered the question with a cold smile. He didn’t show his hyung a well manner. “Looking for Ji Hyo noona?” Still, another bad attitude from Joong Ki. He asked the younger man with an annoying tone.

“Why are you behaving like that??” Jong Kook noticed his dongsaeng’s weird behavior since the time he came out of the car. There was something in the way Joong Ki looked at him that was different from usual.

“I asked you first, hyung.” He let out another smile. It was clearly a fake one and Jong Kook wasn’t happy to see that.

“Yah, mind your manner Joong Ki-ah. What’s wrong with you today? Are you drunk?” He tried to get closer to the younger guy, but Joong Ki pushed him away. Jong Kook’s guard was down. He was taken aback and took a step further from Joong Ki. But this time the younger guy walked closer confidently toward the commander.

“I sent her home with a cab.” He said with anger in his voice. “I know there’s something between you and  Eun Hye-ssi.”

They were standing in front of Kwang Soo’s apartment building so it was a public place. However Joong Ki didn’t seem to be bothered with that fact. He pushed the commander again, but this time even harder.

“How dare you, Hyung?!” He didn’t know where he got the courage to act like that in front of Jong Kook but that didn’t matter to him.

“Yah, Joong Ki-ah, what are you talking about?! I know I’m wrong for coming late. But what does it have to do with Eun Hye-ah? What are you talking about??” Jong Kook didn’t fight back. He stayed in his position, trying to understand what Joong Ki was talking about.

“So now you’re on Eun Hye’s side? Jong Kook hyung I didn’t know you are this low.” He looked down and laughed sarcastically. “You’re just as fake as noona’s ex-boyfriends. Useless…” He laughed again, making him looked like an evil character in a drama.

“Okay stop it. Tell me what’s going on.” Jong Kook said impatiently as he grabbed Joong Ki’s shoulder.

“Eun Hye answered your phone. Is it enough to explain the whole thing?”

Jong Kook was surprised to hear the statement. He immediately put his hands in his pocket, searching for his phone. Predictably it wasn’t there anymore. Seeing Jong Kook’s behavior, Joong Ki realized that he misunderstood the whole thing.

A/N: okay I didn't reread the chapter so please enjoy the errors. Forgive me and my sleepy brain...