last chapter: Joong Ki asked Ji Hyo what were their relationship now and she told him she needed more time to answer that. She promised she would give him the answer after the filming ended. Meanwhile, Eun Hye suddenly came to Jong Kook's place at 4 a.m. a day before the filming.

Jong Kook had been waiting at the doorway inside with the door open for like five minutes. It was Tuesday, the day of the filming, and he had finished getting ready early. Gap Jin-hyung, his manager, was supposed to pick him up at 6.05, which was thirteen minutes from now.

Morning was always the best time for Jong Kook. The thing he loved the most was the golden sunlight that slipped through the soft looking clouds. Everything looked colorful in the morning as if the earth was celebrating a fun new day. However that morning was different. There was no sun to be seen anywhere. The sky was grey as if rain could fall any minute. It was not a good way to start a day—at least for Jong Kook.

The weather wasn’t supposed to be that cold at that time of month. Sweater was usually enough to keep him warm but he decided to put his coat on over it. The wind made him want to close the door, but on second thought he decided to keep that opened in case his manager shows up. Besides, the dark thick cloud was inevitably captivating.

As he stared at the bird flying away in a troop, he thought about Ji Hyo; what she was doing, what she was thinking, what she was wearing. But somehow he knew that was not what he wanted to think about at the moment. Deep in his mind he was reaching for a forbidden corner of thoughts that he wished he could forget.

Reluctantly he recalled what happened the day before and couldn’t help but feeling embarrassed of himself. Eun Hye’s face kept on showing in his brain.

Then suddenly the phone in his pocket vibrated. It was Haha calling. Jong Kook hesitated for awhile. It was rare for the dongsaeng to call him that early, especially before filming. He took a deep breath while wishing nothing bad happened.

“Hyung, is there something you want to tell me?” Out of nowhere the person talking on the line said, without even greeting him first. Jong Kook was a hundred percent sure it was Haha though. He knew his best buddy’s voice by heart.

Although the question was random and strange, Jong Kook actually got an answer for that. Yes, there was something he wanted to tell Haha. It was something that had bothered him since yesterday. But still he wouldn’t answer Haha directly, especially with the strange way of him delivering the question. There was something fishy about it and the elder man was afraid that maybe it was a part of the filming. Running Man’s PD had been doing secret filming since a long time ago and there was no way the commander was going to fall for it.

“Umm, no. Why are you suddenly asking me that? ”

“I don’t know, I just thought that maybe you want to talk to me.” Clearly there was a hidden intention.

“Ar—are you with a VJ right now? Is this a part of the filming?” Jong Kook was getting more uptight as the suspicion increased.

“What are you talking about hyung?”

“Oh, so now the PDs are planning something against me. That’s why Gap Jin hyung hasn’t arrived yet! What mission did you get yah Dong Hoon-ah?” Jong Kook could get all melancholy when it came to his personal life, but when it came to his job, he was a real commander. He was now sure there was something going on.

“No—No what are you talking about?” Haha was about to laugh but then he realized that Jong Kook was serious. He continued, “No Hyung, this isn’t a part of filming. I just heard some news and I thought probably you have something to do with it. I’m not sure though, that’s why I’m calling you.”

“News? What news?” Jong Kook was relieved that it has nothing to do with filming. But a part of him was nervous. The way Haha said it was too vague. He neither sounded sad nor happy about the news.

“Well I just saw an interview of Eun Hye-ya. She said that this Running Man episode was important for her. I don’t actually understand but she said something about making a right decision which has something to do with leaving the country.”

“What do you mean by leaving the country? Is she on a run or something?” Jong Kook couldn’t see where the conversation was going. Plus, a part of him assumed that Haha was drunk though in fact he wasn't.

“Are you really that clueless hyung?” The dongsaeng inhaled in disbelief. “Apparently she got a job offer to play in a Hollywood movie or something.”

“Sorry, I don’t catch what you’re saying. What does it have to do with our show?”

“Um she has to make the decision by Wednesday, which is tomorrow after the filming, or else the director would cast someone else for her role.”

“Still not catching up on you. So what’s the big deal here? Just take the role, go to LA, and be back in a couple of months, right?”

“Don’t tell me, tell her!” Haha lost his patience.

“So you call me only to ask me to tell her that? I can’t see where this conversation is going Dong Hoon-ah.”

“Oh Jong Kook hyung, you really are helpless. If she gets this part, she’ll never be able to come back. It’s going to be a big movie since the director’s top notch. I bet she’ll get a lot of offer if she takes this one. Not just ordinary offers, but Hollywood ones. Oh that girl’s going to be a Hollywood star living in far far away from here for the rest of her life.”

There’s a sudden flick in Jong Kook’s heart when he heard that. He didn’t think that far. A part of him was not ready to let Eun Hye go. It was just yesterday that the young actress knocked on his door and drifted to sleep with her head on his knees. Counting the years back, it felt like yesterday that he came to the set of her drama. She was his first love, and first loves were harder to let go.

For a moment he forgot about Ji Hyo, and then he felt so low for forgetting her. All this time he always felt like he had the obligation to think about the ace. As if they both were still together in his mind. As if they never broke up.

Embarrassedly he brushed the thought of Eun Hye leaving and try to find words that make him sound ignorant.

“You’re overdoing it. She’ll be able to come back once a year at least.”

“You’re not getting the point, aren’t you?”

He said nothing since he thought he had understood his dongsaeng clearly. But Haha got it wrong and continued with his long explanation.

“Yah Kim Jong Kook, she’s still madly in love with you. If she leaves now, she won’t ever get the chance to win you back. The filming, our damn Running Man filming, affects her decision because she’s in it and you’re in it. Hyung, don’t you get it?”

“Not really.” This time Jong Kook meant it.

“Jeez, working together with you might change her decision!”

Jong Kook was speechless. He didn’t think that far. Of course he’d be sad if Eun Hye left, but he was clueless that her decision depended on him.
The coat he was wearing now couldn’t withstand the cold anymore. He reluctantly stood up and walked to the door, closing it behind him as he rested his back on it.
The voice on the phone continued, but this time Haha was calmer. “Hyung, if you still love her, she’ll—“ His sentence was cut off in the middle.

“—She won’t take the offer. She’ll blow her opportunity and—and just throw away her career. I get it. Even just a slight caring gesture I made might make her think there’s still a chance for ‘us’. I didn’t see that coming. Dong Hoon-ah, how am I supposed to act in front of her?” Desperate was the perfect word to describe the tone in Jong Kook’s voice.

“I also don’t know hyung. But just make sure of your feelings toward her, okay?”

“Yeah. I’m quite sure I don’t love her anymore, but I did something that could lead to misunderstanding.”

“Goodness, what did you do?” Haha sounded really concerned although it was actually none of his business. However, Jong Kook had been friends with him since years ago, so everything that happened to his hyung became a problem to him too and vice versa.

“Before I start telling you, when did you see the interview?” Jong Kook had an instinct which was telling him that her visit to his house the day before had something to do with the interview.

“Well, I just saw it a couple of minutes ago on the morning newspaper. What’s wrong?”

The time matched perfectly. Now it all made sense to him. He's in trouble.

“Dong Hoon-ah, I think I just made a mistake. So here's what happened.”

When I woke up I realized it was already 7.40 in the morning. My back was stiff and I couldn’t feel my legs. Then I realized Eun Hye’s head was resting on them. I couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable she felt on that position but she seemed like she didn’t mind. I gently stood up, afraid of waking her up, and lifted her to the sofa. That way she might get a better sleep. I cover her with a blanket because I figured she was cold.

Wait. She couldn’t sleep here.

But then I saw her tired sleeping face; peaceful and calm, just like Ji Hyo’s. Letting her sleep a little bit more wouldn’t get me into trouble, right?

I couldn’t help but keep on staring. There were questions flying around in my head. What brought her here? Why did she come to my place instead of somewhere else? What bothered her so much she couldn’t sleep last night? I wrote my own scenarios of answer in my head, just like a little boy fantasizing superheroes’ action.

Then my thoughts drifted further.

I wished people were easy to read. I wished I knew from the beginning that Joong Ki had liked Ji Hyo. But then I thought again, even if I had known, would I still fallin love with her? She was my co-worker, my dongsaeng’s crush, the team’s ace. Would I still be able to think her this way? I don’t know, I’m not sure. That’s why a part of me thanks the universe for not letting me know about Joong Ki’s feeling earlier. I knew I was a mean hyung for being grateful over my dongsaeng’s unrequited love. But my time with Ji Hyo was probably the time I love the most, the time I treasure the most.

Then there she was, Yoon Eun Hye my first love, right in front of me.

I couldn’t count how many days I had spent running for her, trying to win her heart. Despite what she had done to me, I still thought she was beautiful. I still thought she didn’t deserve being miserable. Was this pity or just my way of saying I care about her as a friend?

I had to wake her up. I needed to stay away from her or else my thoughts were going to drift even further away. But watching her sleep was really something. Okay, I’d count to 30 and then I’d definitely wake her up.

1

2

3

.

.

.

22

23

24

She woke up before I finished counting. Oh no, this was awkward. She caught me watching her sleep.

Her eyes were staring right into mine. I almost looked away but she was faster than me. She covered her hand with both her hands and murmured. I guessed she was saying ‘damn it’. Still lying on the sofa, she finally said something.

“I’m sorry oppa. I’m so embarrassed right now.”

The bright sunlight coming in from the window lightened the whole room. Its brightness brought us back to reality. What had happened in the dim room earlier that day was all unwanted. All her confessions, her fragility, her delicacy, her feelings were all spontaneous. I could tell she regretted coming here.

“It’s okay. I can forget it if you want me to.”

She didn’t respond. Maybe she was considering which one is better, letting me forget this or just telling me the truth.

“I couldn’t pretend anymore oppa. I just need to know your feelings.” She shook her head and bit her lips.

“My feelings?”

“Can we…. Umm you know…. Do I still have a chance to be with you?”

“I—I don’t know.”

“You still in love with Ji Hyo unnie?”

“Yes.”

I thought she was going to back off when she heard my blunt answer, but she didn’t. She did seem upset but instead of crying, she gripped the blanket tightly and put together the courage to ask me a thing.

“Oppa, can you give me a chance?”

This time my heart was racing.

“I—I don’t know. Can you give me some time?”

She gave me a smile; a really sweet one. I knew that meant yes. But above the sincere smile on her lips, I saw her eyes. She was disappointed, dejected, but tough and full of hope.

Suddenly out of nowhere her jaded eyes widen as if she saw a ghost—or as if she remembered something she shouldn’t have forgotten.

“Oh my God, what time is it?”

“Umm, almost 7, why?”

“Oh no!” She quickly sat on the sofa, almost throwing the blanket away. I didn’t know if all women’s pajama pants had pockets, but hers had. She reached for her phone there and soon was drowned in her own world inside the gadget that looked exactly like mine—I was surprised at first but I just remembered that our phones were the same.

“Oh no no no, my manager called me like 6 times already!”

“Sorry I didn’t hear your phone ring. I would’ve woken you up if I knew you’re busy today.”

“I put the phone on vibrate, it’s not your fault. I just have an interview at 8 and it’s quite important.”

“Hmm, okay.”

“I’ve got to go. I’m sorry for bothering you so early in the morning.”

Then I was alone again at my lonely living room.

Jong Kook finally finished telling Haha about what had happened the day before. Both of the guys stayed speechless for a second before the younger one finally broke the ice.

“Hyuuung, what did you just dooo?!?” There was a long faked cry for a second before Jong Kook finally couldn’t stand it.

“Yah, it’s not that bad!” Jong Kook respond was kind of loud.

“You cold hearted man! Just because you think her eyes looked dejected, doesn’t mean they did! That was just your side of the story, hyung. From what I see, youjust gave her a chance and that means you gave her hope.”

“Can you be a little bit supporting here, Dong Hoon-ah??”

“Hyung, I’m a relationship expert. You’re the one who should be a bit supporting here. If anything happens to the beautiful Eun Hye, I’ll tell the world you break her heart and ruin her career!” He said in a heroic intonation. Just from the way he sounded, Jong Kook knew that Haha was dramatizing everything again.

“So what are you suggesting me to do?”

“Just tell her directly that you don’t love her anymore. I mean, otherwise what are you going to do? Date her for awhile and then dump her? Whoa, you’ll ruin her career plus break her heart in a really cruel way. Just tell her now, hyung.”

“I can’t”

“Why?”

“I just can’t. I don’t want to hurt her feelings.”

“Why?”

“I said I just can’t!”

“Somehow you still love her, don’t you?”

Honestly, Jong Kook didn’t know the answer for that question. It was a lucky thing that Gap Jin showed up on the right time. Well, he didn’t actually know whether it was his manager or not, but he assumed so when he heard a car stopping in front of his house.

“Sorry Dong Hoon-ah, Gap Jin’s here. Gotta go, see you at the set, bye!!”

“Yah, Jong Kook hyung, answer me first!”

Too late, Jong Kook had gladly hung up.

A/N: please tell me I did good enough with this chapter haha. Can't wait for their filming to start ><