Jong Kook’s cold lips made Ji Hyo felt comfortable. She missed him so much that she felt she could die because of happiness right now. But she knew she shouldn’t die yet, she still had to feel his warmth longer. Slowly Jong Kook wrapped his arms around her body, making her felt shy. 

But somehow drawned in the feeling, Ji Hyo placed her arms around Jong Kook’s neck, making Jong Kook smiled a bit this time. He also missed her touch very much. He didn’t regret changing his mind before he left. 

The taste of Jong Kook’s lips on hers was different from usual. It felt right. It felt like she had found all the things she had been looking for all this time. She regretted her decision. She regretted breaking up with him. Ji Hyo wasn’t ready to give up on him—on their relationship.

Passionately Ji Hyo brought herself closer to him, leaning her body comfortably on his wide chest. She didn’t want to let go of her oppa. She wanted to hold him tight and keep him for herself.

However, slightly Jong Kook pulled himself away from her. He slowly placed his hands on Ji Hyo’s fingers which were wrapped around his neck, trying to let go of her embrace. He saw disappointment on Ji Hyo’s face. He noticed that. And he also noticed that her pain was somehow breaking his heart.

Jong Kook hesitantly opened his mouth to say a few words. But something held him back from doing so. It was a perfect moment and he had no guts to ruin it.

He placed his hands on the back of Ji Hyo’s head. Her wet hair made him smiled a bit. It was a forced smile, but he tried his best to make it looked as natural as possible. Silently they looked at each others’ eyes, speaking in a language that no one else could understand.

Out of nowhere, Jong Kook suddenly laughed animatedly.

“Ji Hyo-ah, let’g get in. I know you’re cold. Your hands shivered and your skin is as cold as ice.”

“Oppa, I don’t even notice that.” She grabbed her own fingers as she tried to stop them from shivering.

They walked side by side into the house, letting the rain fell as much as the sky wanted. There was no longer awkwardness between the two. They acted like they never had a breakup, but that clearly didn’t mean that they were back together. There was something that Jong Kook still couldn’t tell her. Even if he was forced to say it, he wouldn’t let out a single word about it at that moment. He wanted to feel happy and to make her feel happy, even though just for one night.

A sweet voice broke Jong Kook’s thought in a matter of second.

“Oppa.”

Ji Hyo called Jong Kook as she shut the door behind her. Blankly she stared at his eyes, questioning his intention of coming to her place. Jong Kook who caught the meaning of the stare slightly took a deep breath and let it out heavily.

“Look, I’ll tell you why I come here later. I’m not in the mood and I’m kind of… cold. Can I at least make myself comfortable first?” He said jokingly.

“Oh yes oppa, sorry I forgot. Please dry yourself first. Here’s your towel. I’m going to take a shower—yes, in the middle of the night. Meanwhile you can do whatever you want there.” Ji Hyo pointed to a bathroom next to the living room.

“Thanks.”

Ji Hyo hesitantly went to a bathroom she had in her bedroom. She looked at him once only to find that he was staring at her. Blushingly she walked faster, leaving Jong Kook alone in the living room.

Smilingly Jong Kook walked to the door that she had pointed earlier. He could easily feel comfortable in Ji Hyo’s house. He used to spend a lot of time there doing random things with her. He missed those times and he wished he could turn back time although he knew he couldn’t. Before entering the bathroom, he glanced at Ji Hyo’s bedroom door.

I wish I can tell you now…. But I know I can’t. At least not now. I want to stay longer with you this time Ji Hyo-ah. Oppa misses you.

“Yah, Ji Hyo, how is it today? Did you enjoy the show?” Jae Suk asked her after the filming ended. He was being a friendly person as usual.

“Well, I still feel awkward with other members, but I’ll get closer to them as time goes by.” She chuckled and bowed animatedly before entering her van.

It was Ji Hyo’s first day as Running Man’s permanent member, so it wasn’t weird if she felt a little bit shy and uncomfortable. She rarely being surrounded by men and that made her pretty nervous. Thankfully all Running Man members were extremely kind and that made her felt kinda relieved. But there was a man who looked annoyed with her presence. She didn’t know what she did wrong though.

That man was Kim Jong Kook, the commander of the show. During the first day of filming, he stared coldly at her although he spoke politely—well, he rarely talked to her. His mouth and eyes really showed different feelings and that scared Ji Hyo a bit. She tried to avoid any eye contact but his stares really disturb her. She couldn’t concentrate on the game and that caused her to lose.

The next filming time was just the same. Ji Hyo felt Jong Kook stared at her coldly again. She had developed close relationships with others, but it seemed like Jong Kook and her couldn’t get along well. There was no difference on the third and fourth and fifth and sixth filming session. She made friends with other boys and she started to enjoy hanging around with them. But there was always uncomfortable atmospehere whenever Jong Kook was around.

At first Ji Hyo tried to get closer to him, asking him about his personal life and all. But unfortunately he seemed annoyed by her question. Ji Hyo didn’t know what she did wrong, but she still felt guilty for being hated by Jong Kook. She often wondered she should have a heart to heart conversation with him, but she supposed he would think that was childish.

It went like that for quite some time. They didn’t go closer; instead a distance was created between them. A few times Jong Kook treated her like a boy. He used his full strength and didn’t hesitate to do something harsh to her. Sometimes he would ignore Ji Hyo and avoided to make an eye contact with her. From the way he acted, Ji Hyo completely aware that the elder man hated her. Since that Ji Hyo began to assump that Jong Kook wasn’t a kind person. From the game she noticed that he was really competitive and aggressive, and from that she came to a conclusion that she also hated the commander.

On the thirteenth week, Ji Hyo came too early to the set. She came at 6 a.m. although she was asked to come at 10. The sky was still a little bit dark; the sun was just about to shine. The crews were not even there yet. Her van left her as soon as it reached the set. It was because her manager needed to meet the CEO and it couldn’t be delayed. Being the only one on the set made her feel scared. She might be strong but she had to admit that she was ucomfortable with being alone and moreover, lonely.

She sat alone on a bench at the park where the filming soon would be held. She glanced at her phone every 2 minutes, waiting for someone to reply her messages. Despite the cold she felt, she tried to act casually. The jacket she wore wasn’t enough to cover her from the cold wind yet she tried her best not to shiver.

After sitting there alone for about a quarter hour, she caught someone was coming to the park from afar. She thought it was Kwang Soo at first, since he always come early to the set, but she frowned when she noticed who it was actually. From the way that person walked, she could already said that it was Jong Kook. He was wearing a blue sweater that looked so warm. She envied him for that.

Trying to be a polite dongsaeng, Ji Hyo waved her hand at him, waiting for his respons. The commander stopped for awhile, he looked like he was observing her for awhile. Then hesitantly he turned away his body, walking away from her.

Ji Hyo couldn’t help but swore when she saw his reaction. She couldn’t imagine that a senior like him would do something so unprofessional like that.

Yahh, are you really an oppa?? ignoring—well, avoiding— a dongsaeng without any reasonable reason was unreasonable. Goodness, I’m blabbering.

Ji Hyo lost herself for a moment. She tried to control her emotion by inhaling and counting 1 to 10. That didn’t help much though. Slightly she closed her eyes and tried to imagine funny things in her head, hoping that it would help a bit.

She was surprised to see Jong Kook walking toward her when she opened her eyes. He got two cups of something warm in his both hands. One was coffee—she assumed, and the other was tea. Blankly she looked at him.

“I thought you might be thirsty or something. It’s quite cold here. I got you coffee. I just bought it from there.” Jong Kook pointed at a small coffee shop near the entrance gate. He smiled a bit. It wasn’t a bright smile or a warm smile, but it was a sincere smile.

All of a sudden Ji Hyo understood why he walked away earlier. He saw her sitting alone doing nothing, so he thought it would be great to buy her coffee.

“Thank you oppa. I thought you hated m—“ Ji Hyo immediately stopped talking when she realized she was saying her mind out loud. “Nevermind.” She looked down, staring at her shoelace, hoping Jong Kook didn’t hear what she just said.

“Oh well, I clearly understand why you thought that way.” Jong Kook ignored the ‘nevermind’ part. He sat next to her as he handed her the coffee. Slowly he drank his tea as he started talking.

“You know, I’m not good at expressing feelings. And I’m pretty closed at first. I always keep my guard up. But please don’t mind my attitude, I always do that to a person I just met. I somehow easily feel insecure. But you seem nice… so I thought I should end that up.”

“So you’re saying that you don’t hate me, oppa?”

“Pretty much like that.”

Being kinda confused, Ji Hyo slightly nodded. She drank her warm coffee slightly as she changed her earlier thoughts about Jong Kook. Jong Kook oppa isn’t that bad. I think I still can handle it.

Jong Kook reminisced the moments from Running Man’s earliest episodes as he dried his body. He never thought that the blank Ji Hyo from back then would be his ex-girlfriend now. The feelings of not deserving her kept appearing in his mind again. He ran his fingers through his hair. Frustration was shown in the way he stared at the towel. It had Ji Hyo’s smell on it. He loved that sweet scent of her but somehow he knew he had to get the scent out of his mind.

Reluctantly he washed his face with the cold water. It was supposed to feel fresh on his skin, but he didn’t feel so. He felt numb.

Sadly he opened the wooden door, done doing his things in the small bathroom. At the exact same time, Ji Hyo was also opening his bedroom. For a moment their eyes met. That was the time Jong Kook realized he had to tell her sooner or later.

Slowly he walked toward her in small doubtful steps.

“Can I have one more kiss before I tell you a thing, Ji Hyo-ah?”

Desperately Jong Kook asked her with a low voice. He felt like he didn’t even have any strength to say one more word. He was drawned to deep in Ji Hyo’s beautiful eyes, and that was the only thing he knew.

 “What thing, oppa?”

Ji Hyo seemed confused but she managed to hold back her questions. She fixed untidy hair which was falling messily just above her eyebrows. 

A/N: Sorry for letting you guys waiting for such a long time. i'm really really busy at the moment. There are exams waiting for me this week, so I may not be able to update (maybe) until Sunday - of course next sunday, I wouldn't apologize if it is this sunday. Okay I think I should already stop writing random things. Sorry for the errors, as usual, I don't reread my story. Btw, thanks for the comments, I received so many for chapter 12. I hope I will get many more for this chapter. I know there is nothing special about this chapter (mainly because I promised I wouldn't write heartbreaking things here) See ya!