*The gray and italic words are not flashbacks, it's just to make it easier for you to read what Ji Hyo is saying

In the middle of his conversation with Eun Hye, Jong Kook saw Joong Ki coming toward Ji Hyo and taking her some place. He really wanted to ignore it but he couldn’t. He knew he wasn’t over Ji Hyo and it was really hard to let her go, especially after knowing that she still wasn’t over him yet. It was hard to tell, but Jong Kook actually knew that Ji Hyo had been staring at him secretly the whole time. However he also knew that Joong Ki had loved her long before they dated so he didn’t want to stop his dongsaeng from getting near Ji Hyo.

I won’t stop Joong Ki from taking away my Ji Hyo, I’m just making sure that he won’t do anything to her. He convinced himself that he didn’t do anything wrong about that. After telling Eun Hye that he felt not good because of the soju—no he didn’t drink it, he just carrying it around as an excuse—he went to follow Joong Ki and Ji Hyo. Knowing that they went outside to the balcony, he looked for the most strategic spot where he could see and hear everything clearly from inside.

 “Noona, how’s your life lately?” Joong Ki started the conversation casually, trying to warm up the coldness in the air.

“Yah Joong Ki-yah, are you really going to ask me about that? It’s such a boring question.” Unfortunately Queen Ji Hyo wasn’t happy with the question.

“Hey, whether it’s boring or not depends on the answer. I ask you “how’s your life” not “how’s your day”.  Can’t you see the difference?” He grumbled in disagreement laughingly. However he somehow showed Ji Hyo that he was asking her seriously.

“From the way you look at me, I think know what you meant by that question. If you want to know how my life is without Jong Kook, you can just ask me directly. You don’t need to simplify the question, you know.”

“I’m not simplifying, I’m just….. trying to be more polite.”

Joong Ki’s answer was then followed by Ji Hyo’s laughter. She couldn’t help thinking her dongsaeng was really cute. Even after all the years they had spent away from each other, she could still feel the bond. It was nice having him back again, especially during that time.

“Please just answer it. I’m so worried about you noona.”

Joong Ki insisted for a quicker answer since Ji Hyo was still staring at him strangely. For a moment she turned her head away, staring vacantly at the night sky. They could see the whole Seoul from Kwang Soo’s apartment balcony. The sight made Ji Hyo melancholic. She bit her lip, trying to control all her emotions.

“What do you expect me to say, Joong Ki-yah? That I’m totally over him and that I’m living a peaceful life without him? You know I can’t tell you that.” She smiled but Joong Ki knew she was deeply hurt. He wanted to kill himself for bringing the topic. Unconsciously he showed how regretful he was through his broken smile.

“There are so many things that I miss about him. I don’t know whether you want to hear it or not, but I’m telling you anyway.” She said without looking at him.

“The first thing is I miss the way he called himself oppa. It was cute, but annoying. Perhaps it’s annoyingly cute. I don’t really understand but the way he said that made me want to have him for myself only. I really love how his name sounds with ‘oppa’ in the back. Jong Kook oppa.

The second thing I miss is the way he used to sing to me. I could call him in the middle of the night just to ask him to sing me his songs. We could end up talking and whispering on the phone until the next morning. I felt like a teenager worrying of being caught by her parents.”

Ji Hyo’s words sounded like poetry to Jong Kook  and a knife to Joong Ki.

“The third is I miss the way we kissed in the rain. It almost felt like being in a fairytale, having the chance to experience things we only see on dramas. It was cold but somehow he made it warm for us. He had always given me warmth even when he was cold.

The fourth thing is I miss the way he drove the car. I’d slept on the passenger seat, or at least pretended to sleep. I’d wish that the car moved really slowly so we could spend more time in the car.”

She kept on talking without paying attention to Joong Ki at all. She was drowned in her own words, not worrying that she might not able to stop if she continued it. But she didn’t mind. She didn’t mind talking about Jong Kook even if it took a year and a half. Even if it took forever she didn’t mind at all.

Jong Kook kept listening from behind the balcony door. He kept his eyes on Ji Hyo’s back—it was the only thing he could see from where he stood.

“The fifth is I miss the way he cared so much about not eating instant noodles. He had always been a health obsessed. There was one time when he didn’t have other food instead of instant noodles, he kept on insisting not to eat the noodle but then I sneeze. He silently went to the kitchen and cooked it for me.

I miss is the way he made it up to me by drinking soju. Even though soju is his real enemy, it was one of his ways of saying he was sorry. He’s really funny when he’s drunk. He’d say illogical things and ended up sleeping on my couch.

The seventh is I miss the way he said sorry even if it wasn’t his fault. Jong Kook oppa is always blaming himself for everything. It made him sad and burdensome.

I miss the way he acted so strong. He really was just a shy man. He’s just a normal person, not a superman or a tiger. He got so weak when it came to feelings.

The ninth thing that I miss is the way he made things easier for me. How bad my day was, I could always endure it if I had him by my side. Just thinking of how much he was thinking of me made my day brighter. I felt loved and blessed.”

The last sentence made Joong Ki’s heart fell apart. He had always loved Ji Hyo, yet she couldn’t feel it. He felt like he was cursed forever, not being able to convey the feelings he had have for so many years. Noona please stop it, I can’t take it anymore. But Ji Hyo didn’t stop, and Joong Ki didn’t have the courage to make her stop.

“The tenth is I miss his sweet smell. I still kept his t-shirt that I borrowed long time ago. It was his favorite t-shirt and I wanted to keep it for myself forever. It reminded me so much about our closeness. It reminded me of how I fell in love with him.

The eleventh is I miss the way he never told a lie. Not even a single. Men tend to tell lies when it comes to women, but oppa is different. He wouldn’t tell a lie, even if it was about Eun Hye. No—not a single bit.

is I miss the way our fingers fit perfectly. It was like the last puzzle piece was finally put at place. It was like finding something missing, and suddenly I found it in the middle of nowhere. You know how that feels right? It feels like not wanting to let go. I didn’t want to let his fingers go.

The thirteenth thing is I miss the way he tried to make everyone happy. Even if he had to sacrifice himself, he didn’t mind. He cared more about people than himself. The sometimes made me sad and felt sorry about him. But being stubborn as usual, he thought it was his responsibility to make people happy.”

Little by little, Ji Hyo’s voice faded. For a moment she looked like she was a little girl falling in love, then she turned into a broken hearted woman. She smiled but she wasn’t there. Her hand was terribly weak but she didn’t cry.

Jong Kook wished he could come out and hug Ji Hyo. He wished he could tell her he loved her and ask her to get back with him. But it was just a wishful thinking.

Please noona, end it here… It was the only thing that was in Joong Ki’s head. He was pleading her to stop, nothing more.

Ji Hyo continued, this time with even more trembling voice.

“I also miss his appa and his eomma. They used to go against our relationship. But they were just nice old couple. I think I can love them as much as I love my own family. They resembled Jong Kook very much.

The fifteenth is the way his eyes disappear when he smiles. It was like my heart was also disappeared with his eyes. I was taken by his smile. I fell too deeply into him. He was definitely a thief since he took away the best part of me with him. I gave him all that was mine.”

Noona, please stop it….

”The sixteenth…. I miss the way he loved me so much that it almost hurt to see him like this.”

Noona, please just stop it….

“The seventeenth….”

His lips landed on hers, preventing the words from escaping.

And for a moment the whole place was silent. They could only hear heartbeats; three different sources of heartbeats beating as fast as they could.

.

It was something he had been waiting for all these years. It was something he had been dreaming for all the time. Her lips tasted like memories that were coming back to life. It tasted like sunshine after a heavy thunderstorm. If anything could describe it best, it would be ‘worth waiting’.

Joong Ki pulled himself back, not regretting anything that he had done. Even if she turned to hate him, he would not regret it. After all, it was a dream coming true. I’m not regretting it. I won’t regret it. No I won’t….

“I’ve been loving you all this time. Even long before you and Jong Kook oppa dated. Long before I quit running man, noona.” He stared down, not having the courage to look at her eyes. He dared to kiss her but he didn’t dare to face her after that.

“I hope you’re not mad at me for kissing you, but I’m not going to say sorry for that.”

Joong Ki stood up, still without even taking a glance at Ji Hyo. He wasn’t ready to see her respond, whether it was good or bad.

“Joong Ki-yah, don’t go. You have some explaining to do.” Ji Hyo’s voice was flat. Joong Ki couldn’t tell how she felt from the way she spoke.  

“No, I have none noona. It’s time for you to explain it to yourself. I’ve done enough to show you I love you. Now it’s all up to you.”

Joong Ki was hurt and worried, but somehow he was relieved. He left Ji Hyo there although he still didn’t know how she felt about him. All he wanted at that time was to leave everything behind and try to figure out how to escape the situation. It was the first time of his life he did something without thinking about it surely.   

Now I’m starting to regret it.

He opened the balcony door only to find Jong Kook there staring vacantly at him.

 I regret it now.

A/N: It's kinda short, sorry :( But I really like this chapter though it reminds me of a quotation I heard in a movie: sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage :) Anyway I'm also sorry for my bad editing skill, just let me know if the main image is too weird (or perhaps too dramatic?--but is there really something that's too dramatic in life?). Oh and please forgive the grammar and misspells.